All I'm saying is cheating, happens naturally, especially in the vanilla world, where unlike LS, communicating sexual needs and fantasies openly is rare for most couples. Everyone has been cheated at some point in their life, for different reasons and under different circumstances. I strongly believe that monogamy is against our inherent human instincts and when a couple's sexual relationship begins to suffer out of imagination or variety, the marriage starts suffering to the point that infidelity seems the only "medicine" that temporary heals our deep sexual urges, and keeps people mentally stable.Are you saying that he should accept your cheating and that it's his fault you cheated? Sounds you feel justified. But if it got that bad, why not leave?
Just imagine how many divorces would have been prevented if having sex outside marriage was our society's norm instead the "forbitten fruit". All of a sudden, the "behind your back" concept that defines infidelity as deceitful would have eliminated in the name of sexual freedom and open communication as it happens to most LS relationships.
I hope society will slowly evolve towards this model, but until then, then yes, cheating is fully justified for both men & women as hurtful as may be and with all the consequences, purely because there is no logic behind sacrificing our primal needs for the traditional marriage notion that wants us intentionally sexually supressed.
We ought to accept though, that the great percentage of people who commit adultery is not necessarily bad people without respect towards their life-partner, but vulnerable, over-sexual creatures who can't resist temptation. They are obviously not emotionally ready to take the leap and join the ethical non-monogamy movement, so inevitably cheating becomes a sinful habit to sexually recharge themselves and get the extra care and validation they need.
For a dominant alpha male like you who feels entitled to fuck quality white pussy alongside your black queen, my point of view might feel absurd, but take a step back and imagine if you had to stick with her sexually for your entire life. Would you cope such commitment?
Yes, our choices in life matter and kudos to both of you for the honest, pathway you guys took to explore your sexuality inside your polyamorous relationship. But regardless were each one of us stand on infidelity, who are we to judge a rich 60yo man who has a romantic affair with his hot secretary or a 40yo married woman who gets lured on a one-night-stand encounter on a business trip by an attractive young man?
Is it fair blaming cheaters blindly without looking the bigger picture and the way our conservative society nurtured us against it?