I canceled the appointment because they didn't pay for the room

[hungteacher]

I like to pay for the room. You give me your woman its the least I can do. Btw, even though I like to pay for dinner and drinks the couple want to pay for the drinks and food. With long term couples I accept gifts and with all the points on my credit card it's doesn't come out of the wallet but instead my points total.

that is your choice and no one should Judge you for it.

But I agree with James. It's the principle. I am taking time out of my day and schedule to meet a married couple. I am providing more benefit to the couple than they are to me. I dont like when couples reduce the event down to sex. Because if this is just about sex - then its more fun and less drama to have sex with a single woman.

Not all couples act this way - but there are a lot of husbands who seem to treat this lifestyle like their wives are like prostitutes. To each their own, but I'm with James on this one.

 

[hungteacher]

We have seen it all in this realm and we've done it all. We've paid for the room. We've paid half of the room. We've paid 2/3 of the room and the room has been paid for.

Our personal philosophy for us is we always take the approach that if all three people are having fun, then all three people should chip in. But many times we end up paying for the full room.

I think its all about communication and expectations.

But again, this is only our philosophy.

Jill

The way you approach is is very healthy.

Communication is very key - and it sounds like you guys would listen and understand where a "man" was coming from if he felt it was too much of an imposition to pay for the room. Like James said - it's not about the money.

For me, its a small gesture from the couple that says to me, "we appreciate your time."

when I go out with a single woman - the expectation is that I do the planning, paying and take charge. With a couple, they know that I will take charge in the bedroom, but it feels nice when that's all I have to worry about. And I don't have to do all that extra work to book a room, get there early to check in and then wait for the couple to arrive.

 

[hungteacher]

Dudes on this site really act wild. I won’t pay for the room but I got good money bro what? Just say you’re broke bc principles have nothing to do with this. The more I’m on this site the more I realize that guys here act like gigolos. There’s so much extra noise and chatter that the organic, sensual aspect of it all is lost.

I dont understand why you're so upset?

But I want to hear you out - you have a lot of experience, so your perspective would be helpful for a lot of people.

Personally, I can pay for a room. So for me, it is the principle of the matter. There is more work, more effort, and more stress on me to get involved with a couple. I have to not only deal with the wife's wants and needs and emotional health, but I also have to be concerned about the husband's emotional needs.

Isnt' that worth paying for the hotel room?

Just so we are clear - I do house calls, so its not like I'm demanding a hotel room. But I know a lot of couples do not want any play inside their own home. And in those situations, its a real show of good faith to book the room and then tell me where to meet them, rather than put all of that responsibility on my shoulders.

Now, you are a traveling bull, so it might be easier for you to arrange encounters at the hotels you have already booked. But as someone who doesnt travel that much - Id prefer the couple take care of it for me.

 

[hungteacher]

@James227 ima keep it buck with you, in all the encounters I’ve had husband/bf/stag/cuckold what ever tf u wanna called it or identify ALWAYS PAYS that’s the first part you fucked up on.

Second I always talk to both the husband and wife there is NO 2ways communication that way everyone is on bored and on the same page

makes perfect sense.

 

[hungteacher]

Wow! This entire thread reads how y'all ain't doing nothing!
I'm a female, if a man can't take me to his house our I can't take him to my house,.then he's paying the hotel bill, tf!?! He bought dinner, I'm the dessert! Enough said! This isn't a business deal, who gets to put who's on their expense bill!! Ughhhh, c'mon y'all get it together! It's SEX/FKN at the end of the night who cares! Y'all got your rocks off! Unless y'all suck in bed, is there a refund process, LOL

Totally agree with you here.

I had said the same thing in a different comment. I do house-calls. But I have met some couples that refuse to allow any play inside their home. So in those situations, I want to respect the couples boundaries and thats why I expect them to pay for a hotel room. But if someone has no issue with hosting me - then I see no need to get a hotel room.

 

[hungteacher]

A lot more being made out of this than it should. My feelings is that "whoever" does the initial contacting is the one to foot the initial costs. I think it would just be logical to meet somewhere in between to personally meet to see if you're even compatible. Have a lunch or drinks together and go from there. And if neither extends an offer to meet a second time then it wasn't to be.
How much could a few cocktails or a lunch cost ... $40-50?
No woman I'd want to have who would be wanting to have sex on a first meeting, and I'm damn sure I wouldn't be springing for a motel room on a first meeting or expecting the other party to do it either.
Some people need to "water down" their expectations a bit on first meetings.

EGOS k.ill more deals than anything. All this "tough talk" gives me the shivers.

You make a very good point.

I dont know James procedure. But I never talk to a couple and then agree to meet them for sex.

In my experience, that's a recipe for disaster.

But I know im a slightly different than a lot of the guys on here. I like to teach and coach couples through the lifestyle. I tend to meet less experienced couples and younger ones as well. And for most couples, its like a 2-week introduction program that I walk them through, so by the time we have our first play session - not only is everyone on the same page - but the woman is very very excited and has a ton of positive anticipation.

I also dont do one night flings. So that's why I go slower.

 

[hungteacher]

Super fucking weird, couple always gets the room? Like if you can’t afford a room then maybe rethink things lol

I would love to know why you think it's weird.

But then again, I dont do one night flings. So maybe thats why Im not understanding your perspective.

 

[just_jenna]

Totally agree with you here.

I had said the same thing in a different comment. I do house-calls. But I have met some couples that refuse to allow any play inside their home. So in those situations, I want to respect the couples boundaries and thats why I expect them to pay for a hotel room. But if someone has no issue with hosting me - then I see no need to get a hotel room.

Than why not do it at a swinger's club? I've been to clubs, whxi can be someone's house not an actual club and have had fun there! I of course don't pay but men do, so even then it's the men who pay. However, couples pay together, but being a single female it's always been free, whithe exception sometimes not always BYOB. That dynamic makes more sense if you're just trying it all out. You get all aspects of the lifestyle in one.

 

[hungteacher]

I'm honestly the same way. I prefer the husband to pay for the room because then I know they'll actually show up. I had a situation in the past where I paid for a room and the couple decided an hour before the meetup that they changed their mind. Wasted some money that day, and from that point I swore off paying for rooms. If the husband pays for the room and everything goes well, I generally pay them back after.

I'm sorry that happened to you.

For me, its not about the money. Its about my time and also just a show of respect.

If I pay for the room - then I expect full control. That means, the husband needs to put his ego in his back pocket and STFU. Only submissive and cuckold husbands enjoy that level of submission, which means all the rest of the husbands like to still have some control. To me, if you want control, then you pay for the room.

I want the couple to book the room, check in and text me when they get to the room. That way, I know my time is being respected.

Several years ago, back in NYC, I arranged a party for 4 or 5 couples and several bulls. This was something that happened that was not affiliated with the Cuckold Society, but the goal was to introduce new couples slowly to the lifestyle and then they would be more ready to go to a party that @Idowives0763 was throwing.

Because some couples are really shy and hestitant to go to a big party with hundreds of couples and bulls and people having sex all over the place.

But only 1 bull showed up and 2 of the 5 couples.

It wasnt about the money - it was the time that I spent organizing and putting things together. Unfortunately, when people get things for FREE, they dont appreciate it. Thats the world we live in today. And you have to accept that reality and make decisions accordingly.

 

[hungteacher]

We’ve paid for hotel rooms before for the dude to bring a limp dick to the party…..I’m supposed to pay for that???!!!! gtfo We’ve learned the (not) hard way

sorry that happened to you

Thats not fair either.

 

[hungteacher]

Than why not do it at a swinger's club? I've been to clubs, whxi can be someone's house not an actual club and have had fun there! I of course don't pay but men do, so even then it's the men who pay. However, couples pay together, but being a single female it's always been free, whithe exception sometimes not always BYOB. That dynamic makes more sense if you're just trying it all out. You get all aspects of the lifestyle in one.

I agree with you.

But that's not always an option. But you are correct - a hotel room isnt the only option.

 

[just_jenna]

I agree with you.

But that's not always an option. But you are correct - a hotel room isnt the only option.

If you really want it, you make it happen. It's that simple. All I've heard is excuses. Which leads me to believe they're not ready. And that's ok too, but don't make an issue, out of nothing. I find that people who have urges fail, bc they can't actually see themselves in that position, they can only fantasize but unless you actually have the gumption to fulfill, the excuses flow.

 

[JayTheGent]

Personally, if I'm getting a room it means I'm flying out to another city. If I'm doing that, more than likely I have two backup options (in case the couple flakes at the last minute) because this is not the only way I can get laid. I've had husband's pay for rooms before, or if I'm in my own city they usually asked me to meet them at a hotel they're staying at. I've literally paid for rooms, went around the corner to grab something to eat and had women ready to go back to the hotel with me and couldn't take them up on that cause I had a couple that was stopping by that evening. I guess all I'm saying is have a couple backup options and don't use this as the only way you can get laid.

 

[just_jenna]

Personally, if I'm getting a room it means I'm flying out to another city. If I'm doing that, more than likely I have two backup options (in case the couple flakes at the last minute) because this is not the only way I can get laid. I've had husband's pay for rooms before, or if I'm in my own city they usually asked me to meet them at a hotel they're staying at. I've literally paid for rooms, went around the corner to grab something to eat and had women ready to go back to the hotel with me and couldn't take them up on that cause I had a couple that was stopping by that evening. I guess all I'm saying is have a couple backup options and don't use this as the only way you can get laid.

Spoken like a sexy dominant man!

 

[JayTheGent]

Spoken like a sexy dominant man!

Some woman is gonna take my dick by the end of the night if I'm out being a slut.

 

[just_jenna]

Some woman is gonna take my dick by the end of the night if I'm out being a slut.

As you should King!

 

[hungteacher]

If you really want it, you make it happen. It's that simple. All I've heard is excuses. Which leads me to believe they're not ready. And that's ok too, but don't make an issue, out of nothing. I find that people who have urges fail, bc they can't actually see themselves in that position, they can only fantasize but unless you actually have the gumption to fulfill, the excuses flow.

I am curious what "excuses" you heard.
Because I havent made any excuses.

I lived in NYC and there weren't any "swinger" clubs there - just private parties. I prefer to meet couples at their homes or apts. But some couples didnt want to do that. If you think that constitutes an "excuse" on my part - then I guess we will have to agree to disagree.

For the record, I have agreed with most of what you said - so you are the one that is trying to find disagreements.

 

[just_jenna]

I am curious what "excuses" you heard.
Because I havent made any excuses.

I lived in NYC and there weren't any "swinger" clubs there - just private parties. I prefer to meet couples at their homes or apts. But some couples didnt want to do that. If you think that constitutes an "excuse" on my part - then I guess we will have to agree to disagree.

For the record, I have agreed with most of what you said - so you are the one that is trying to find disagreements.

I was a generic statement based on this site, not you in particular. I happen to be one who watches before anything else

 

[hungteacher]

Personally, if I'm getting a room it means I'm flying out to another city. If I'm doing that, more than likely I have two backup options (in case the couple flakes at the last minute) because this is not the only way I can get laid. I've had husband's pay for rooms before, or if I'm in my own city they usually asked me to meet them at a hotel they're staying at. I've literally paid for rooms, went around the corner to grab something to eat and had women ready to go back to the hotel with me and couldn't take them up on that cause I had a couple that was stopping by that evening. I guess all I'm saying is have a couple backup options and don't use this as the only way you can get laid.

Well said!!

Same for me - this is not how I spend my time. I like the lifestyle and if I meet a couple that is worth my time - then I move forward. But I dont stress over it. I know plenty of single women who want to ride my cock whenever I need it.

 

[hungteacher]

I was a generic statement based on this site, not you in particular. I happen to be one who watches before anything else

Ok, thank you for clarifying, It was "you" in general and not "you" specific.

Much appreciated - and I agree with 99% of what you said. Obviously, you will have a slightly different perspective from a woman's point of view. But I just like to know that the couple appreciates my time and effort.

If im talking to a single woman - then I dont have the same perspective. If that makes sense.