Dueling HotWife/Stag Chronicles (HotWife Version)

[Swinksters]

*Check out my husband’s post in the Cuckold Forum*

There has never been a day in the 2 years my husband and I have been together where I haven’t felt loved, cherished, validated, and celebrated. Before him, I never knew what it was like to be truly seen and loved for who I am. Every day he shows me in a million little and sometimes big ways how in love with me he truly is. I am so unbelievably grateful and fortunate to be his and I totally know it!

About a month into our relationship, he realized that he never told me about his 15 year long HotWife/Stag fantasy. He was so nervous to share this with me because he carried some shame because of it. However, he mustered the courage to share and completely disclosed this with me. My immediate thought and reaction was, “Hmm…I can totally see it!” His shame completely dissipated.

For the past 2 years we’ve been a couple on this site and we’ve had several experiences that were mostly positive but few and far between. The experiences have been absolutely amazing, healing, empowering, and liberating for both of us! However, we were having sex the other night and he we had a deep sexy conversation about what the lifestyle means to him and the dynamic he enjoys. I’m embarrassed to say, prior to this conversation I didn’t fully understand the HotWife lifestyle. This conversation was such a paradigm busting, mind blowing, shift in perspective. It’s like this new world opened up to me and for the first time I was able to see clearly the absolute gift of freedom my husband has given me and wanted me to FULLY embrace. He was inside of me while he was describing the absolute power and freedom that I have. He felt my body respond and react in an uninhibited, voracious, and sexy way and both of us transported to a different dimension.

It was then that I fully realized what a gift my husband has given me. One of the greatest, unselfish expressions of love I’ve ever experienced. He disclosed to me some of his anxieties, insecurities, and fears about all of this and to be honest I fully got what he was saying. I always try to put myself in his position because WOW I can definitely see how there’s such a mix of emotions that go along with this wild ride.

Due to my trauma and past toxic relationships, I have never had the power, control, or autonomy of my own body. I have never made the decisions or taken the wheel and decided where I wanted to go. My husband has now given me this power in this lifestyle. I choose who I want to have sex with, when I have sex, how long I have sex, where I have sex, and how often I have sex. All of this is up to me?? Wow! What a freedom that I’ve never experienced!

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little intimidated by all of this and having the power of choice. But I am SO turned on by it at the same time. I guess that’s a part of the fun of it all. I told my husband that I would ask him 3 times if this is truly something he wants and is ok with. The first time I asked he thought about it for a while and answered yes. 2 more times to go! 2 more times to ask before I fully dive into this and blossom into the wildly uninhibited and voracious HotWife that I know I truly am and desire to be. 2 more times to ask before I fully let go and release this sexual appetite that I will be unable to tamp down and put back in the cage even if asked or begged. No longer will I be doing this to be of service to my husband’s desires, I can now be a bit selfish and enjoy this myself.

We’ll see how this plays out. If I get the green light, then this transatlantic voyage begins and I’m the one with the power to chart course. For the first time in my life, I choose. I never take my husband for granted. I know what he’s giving me. I know how much he loves me and cherishes me. I’ve never been loved like this before. This love is healing me in ways I never knew I needed to be healed. For that, I am indebted and so unbelievably grateful.

The journey continues…..

 

[beenblackened]

You go girl!

 

[JJSMITHY54321]

*Check out my husband’s post in the Cuckold Forum*

There has never been a day in the 2 years my husband and I have been together where I haven’t felt loved, cherished, validated, and celebrated. Before him, I never knew what it was like to be truly seen and loved for who I am. Every day he shows me in a million little and sometimes big ways how in love with me he truly is. I am so unbelievably grateful and fortunate to be his and I totally know it!

About a month into our relationship, he realized that he never told me about his 15 year long HotWife/Stag fantasy. He was so nervous to share this with me because he carried some shame because of it. However, he mustered the courage to share and completely disclosed this with me. My immediate thought and reaction was, “Hmm…I can totally see it!” His shame completely dissipated.

For the past 2 years we’ve been a couple on this site and we’ve had several experiences that were mostly positive but few and far between. The experiences have been absolutely amazing, healing, empowering, and liberating for both of us! However, we were having sex the other night and he we had a deep sexy conversation about what the lifestyle means to him and the dynamic he enjoys. I’m embarrassed to say, prior to this conversation I didn’t fully understand the HotWife lifestyle. This conversation was such a paradigm busting, mind blowing, shift in perspective. It’s like this new world opened up to me and for the first time I was able to see clearly the absolute gift of freedom my husband has given me and wanted me to FULLY embrace. He was inside of me while he was describing the absolute power and freedom that I have. He felt my body respond and react in an uninhibited, voracious, and sexy way and both of us transported to a different dimension.

It was then that I fully realized what a gift my husband has given me. One of the greatest, unselfish expressions of love I’ve ever experienced. He disclosed to me some of his anxieties, insecurities, and fears about all of this and to be honest I fully got what he was saying. I always try to put myself in his position because WOW I can definitely see how there’s such a mix of emotions that go along with this wild ride.

Due to my trauma and past toxic relationships, I have never had the power, control, or autonomy of my own body. I have never made the decisions or taken the wheel and decided where I wanted to go. My husband has now given me this power in this lifestyle. I choose who I want to have sex with, when I have sex, how long I have sex, where I have sex, and how often I have sex. All of this is up to me?? Wow! What a freedom that I’ve never experienced!

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little intimidated by all of this and having the power of choice. But I am SO turned on by it at the same time. I guess that’s a part of the fun of it all. I told my husband that I would ask him 3 times if this is truly something he wants and is ok with. The first time I asked he thought about it for a while and answered yes. 2 more times to go! 2 more times to ask before I fully dive into this and blossom into the wildly uninhibited and voracious HotWife that I know I truly am and desire to be. 2 more times to ask before I fully let go and release this sexual appetite that I will be unable to tamp down and put back in the cage even if asked or begged. No longer will I be doing this to be of service to my husband’s desires, I can now be a bit selfish and enjoy this myself.

We’ll see how this plays out. If I get the green light, then this transatlantic voyage begins and I’m the one with the power to chart course. For the first time in my life, I choose. I never take my husband for granted. I know what he’s giving me. I know how much he loves me and cherishes me. I’ve never been loved like this before. This love is healing me in ways I never knew I needed to be healed. For that, I am indebted and so unbelievably grateful.

The journey continues…..

Wonderful post and wishing you continued success in your journey!
When we started in this lifestyle, my wife wanted this to be about her and her stepping out of our relationship for some sexy fun. But she would only do it with my support, understanding & encouragement. The rest is history ...

 

[jaughn7070]

It is always interesting to get the women's perspective and fairly rare. I appreciate you letting us join you on your journey. I hope it is fun, satisfying, and brings you and your husband even closer.

 

[dickhurtz472]

an, absolutely, exhilarating synopsis on the HW lifestyle. you are why i love hearing, directly, from the wives & GFs.

a great eye-opener to those considering the LS.

can't wait to hear more from you. good luck to you with happiness, forever.

i wish my wife was still around to be able to read this.

 

[Swinksters]

In my post I said that I had to ask my husband two more times if he really wants to take this to the next level which entails me being completely uninhibited, unleashed, and voracious. Now…it’s only one more time to ask my husband “the question” if this is something he really wants….. He’s a little nervous and intimidated…but SO excited. Wouldn’t you be?

 

[luckyman64]

Agreed! Taking fantasy to reality is a big leap. But when done correctly, and as a couple holding hands and taking that leap together…beautiful!

 

[jaughn7070]

You are a beautiful woman & he has to be excited & anxious as to what it will really mean when you are "completely uninhibited, unleashed, and voracious". The progression and exploration are part of the path you've both started down. I appreciate you sharing your journey with us.

 

[Blackasslover6]

*Check out my husband’s post in the Cuckold Forum*

There has never been a day in the 2 years my husband and I have been together where I haven’t felt loved, cherished, validated, and celebrated. Before him, I never knew what it was like to be truly seen and loved for who I am. Every day he shows me in a million little and sometimes big ways how in love with me he truly is. I am so unbelievably grateful and fortunate to be his and I totally know it!

About a month into our relationship, he realized that he never told me about his 15 year long HotWife/Stag fantasy. He was so nervous to share this with me because he carried some shame because of it. However, he mustered the courage to share and completely disclosed this with me. My immediate thought and reaction was, “Hmm…I can totally see it!” His shame completely dissipated.

For the past 2 years we’ve been a couple on this site and we’ve had several experiences that were mostly positive but few and far between. The experiences have been absolutely amazing, healing, empowering, and liberating for both of us! However, we were having sex the other night and he we had a deep sexy conversation about what the lifestyle means to him and the dynamic he enjoys. I’m embarrassed to say, prior to this conversation I didn’t fully understand the HotWife lifestyle. This conversation was such a paradigm busting, mind blowing, shift in perspective. It’s like this new world opened up to me and for the first time I was able to see clearly the absolute gift of freedom my husband has given me and wanted me to FULLY embrace. He was inside of me while he was describing the absolute power and freedom that I have. He felt my body respond and react in an uninhibited, voracious, and sexy way and both of us transported to a different dimension.

It was then that I fully realized what a gift my husband has given me. One of the greatest, unselfish expressions of love I’ve ever experienced. He disclosed to me some of his anxieties, insecurities, and fears about all of this and to be honest I fully got what he was saying. I always try to put myself in his position because WOW I can definitely see how there’s such a mix of emotions that go along with this wild ride.

Due to my trauma and past toxic relationships, I have never had the power, control, or autonomy of my own body. I have never made the decisions or taken the wheel and decided where I wanted to go. My husband has now given me this power in this lifestyle. I choose who I want to have sex with, when I have sex, how long I have sex, where I have sex, and how often I have sex. All of this is up to me?? Wow! What a freedom that I’ve never experienced!

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little intimidated by all of this and having the power of choice. But I am SO turned on by it at the same time. I guess that’s a part of the fun of it all. I told my husband that I would ask him 3 times if this is truly something he wants and is ok with. The first time I asked he thought about it for a while and answered yes. 2 more times to go! 2 more times to ask before I fully dive into this and blossom into the wildly uninhibited and voracious HotWife that I know I truly am and desire to be. 2 more times to ask before I fully let go and release this sexual appetite that I will be unable to tamp down and put back in the cage even if asked or begged. No longer will I be doing this to be of service to my husband’s desires, I can now be a bit selfish and enjoy this myself.

We’ll see how this plays out. If I get the green light, then this transatlantic voyage begins and I’m the one with the power to chart course. For the first time in my life, I choose. I never take my husband for granted. I know what he’s giving me. I know how much he loves me and cherishes me. I’ve never been loved like this before. This love is healing me in ways I never knew I needed to be healed. For that, I am indebted and so unbelievably grateful.

The journey continues…..

Don't betray that trust and love he gives you. I've read a few that set some perimeter so that they would always have time for each other for weekends together etc. suddenly the bull wants her to spend the weekend, or more without the husband. She asks him , sometimes begs husband to go. He usually allows it only because she put him in the position to have to say no to her, when it was her that should have said no when the bull asked her. Now that was the thing he was trying to avoid, then your off with bull as his wish was dismissed. So can you see how much responsibility it takes to enjoy sexual freedom and keep your love alive for the long haul. The goal should be enhancement of your relationship with husband, not enhancement of the bull

 

[Swinksters]

I told my husband a few months ago that I would ask him on 3 separate occasions if he really wanted me to embrace this HotWife lifestyle fully. I asked him if he really wanted to unleash me, free me, and bring out this piece of me that I’ve shoved down for a very long time. A few days ago, I asked him for the 3rd and final time. He drew me in close, looked me in the eyes a little apprehensively but fully present and with conviction, stared directly into my soul and said yes. He told me that he wanted to love every piece of me…every side of me, and he wanted to me to enjoy it.

A few days have passed since he gave me his 3rd and final answer. I wasted no time. I started contacting man after man. There has been so many conflicting emotions in this new beginning to fully dive into this lifestyle that is not for the faint of heart. Conflicting emotions like questioning if this will hurt my husband, create distance between us, feeling morally wrong and unfaithful(due to my evangelical Christian upbringing), feeling wrong that I do seem to posses a bit of a Sadist mentality with this, enjoying the tease, the tension, the buildup, the masochistic pain, the freedom, the joy, the excitement, the love, the fear of the unknown. I feel like I’m charting unknown waters in the middle of the ocean. I’m terrified of what’s to come while navigating these waters, but at the same time I’m fully awake, fully alive, fully present, fully horny, fully in charge for the first time in my life of my own sexuality, my own body. What is this new life that’s been granted to me? After a lifetime of trauma and pain and agony, I now have a husband that sees me, loves me, cherishes me, encourages me, hears me, and has freed me to embrace the slut that I am. He sees my darkness and shares his with me. And here we are jumping down into the rabbit hole of unknown adventures, pleasure, intimacy, love, freedom, and empowerment. The only appropriate response to this gift that my husband has given me, is to fully embrace, light up, love, and most of all enjoy all the pleasure that I can. It’s the only thing I can do to repay the graciousness, selflessness, and unconditional love that my husband demonstrates to me with this gift.

So, here I am. Navigating these waters with my husband, my best friend by my side. I get to steer the boat. What a concept! I get to go and explore where I want to go. Again, who would’ve thought! I am fully aware that I am navigating this journey. However, I am also fully aware that my husband is on it with me.

One of the reasons why this lifestyle has been so powerful for both of us is because of how connected, in love, passionately committed and dedicated to each other that we are.

What else can I say? Sure, it’s fun to be kinky and be a slut and embrace that big piece of who I am and always have been. But, it doesn’t come for free. For me, acknowledging that piece and experiencing the freedom that goes along with it comes with a price. It means that I have to face all of the lies I’ve heard my entire life that have oppressed me, pained me, shamed me, guilted me, and condemned me. All of those lies I’ve been told, I actually believed for a very long time. Fully diving into this lifestyle for me isn’t just because I absolutely LOVE being completely filled by BBC, although that is definitely a very BIG plus . It’s more than that though. It’s me facing who I am and what I like. It’s me saying F***K YOU to everyone in my life that has shamed me, put me down, and have been disgusted with who I am. This lifestyle is way more than just physical pleasure for me. It’s been ground breaking, paradigm shifting, lie breaking, life changing acceptance and love for myself for the first time in my life.

I can’t even begin to describe how honored and grateful I am that my husband chose me to be his wife. To be loved by my husband is the biggest gift of all. However, If you would’ve told me that these lifestyles and explorations and adventures with my husband would heal and free both of us, I honestly don’t know if I would’ve believed it.

It takes courage to break out of all the BS that has imprisoned us. It takes even more courage to live out your authentic truth. And most of all, it takes even more courage to love the parts of ourself that others have thrown in the trash and spit on. So, for every HotWife reading this post, you’re amazing! I am proud to be one of you, officially .

That being said, I have my first official HotWife date in 3 days. I told my husband that he is going to help me get ready for my date. He is going to watch me shower and help me get dressed. He is going to take pictures of me in my tight black dress and high black heels while I put on my make up. He is going to go down on my before my date. I told him that on the date I “may” flirt and touch my potential new lover. This was a bit shocking to him because I have never done that before. However, I guess there’s a first time for everything . After the date I let my husband know that I may or may not bring this gentleman home. There is a piece of me that wants to decide now whether or not that will happen…but what can I say, I love the suspense.

I hope you all don’t mind, but I am going to be documenting the buildup to this date and the date itself on this thread. Should I post pics too? Let me know what you all want...

 

[dickhurtz472]

I told my husband a few months ago that I would ask him on 3 separate occasions if he really wanted me to embrace this HotWife lifestyle fully. I asked him if he really wanted to unleash me, free me, and bring out this piece of me that I’ve shoved down for a very long time. A few days ago, I asked him for the 3rd and final time. He drew me in close, looked me in the eyes a little apprehensively but fully present and with conviction, stared directly into my soul and said yes. He told me that he wanted to love every piece of me…every side of me, and he wanted to me to enjoy it.

A few days have passed since he gave me his 3rd and final answer. I wasted no time. I started contacting man after man. There has been so many conflicting emotions in this new beginning to fully dive into this lifestyle that is not for the faint of heart. Conflicting emotions like questioning if this will hurt my husband, create distance between us, feeling morally wrong and unfaithful(due to my evangelical Christian upbringing), feeling wrong that I do seem to posses a bit of a Sadist mentality with this, enjoying the tease, the tension, the buildup, the masochistic pain, the freedom, the joy, the excitement, the love, the fear of the unknown. I feel like I’m charting unknown waters in the middle of the ocean. I’m terrified of what’s to come while navigating these waters, but at the same time I’m fully awake, fully alive, fully present, fully horny, fully in charge for the first time in my life of my own sexuality, my own body. What is this new life that’s been granted to me? After a lifetime of trauma and pain and agony, I now have a husband that sees me, loves me, cherishes me, encourages me, hears me, and has freed me to embrace the slut that I am. He sees my darkness and shares his with me. And here we are jumping down into the rabbit hole of unknown adventures, pleasure, intimacy, love, freedom, and empowerment. The only appropriate response to this gift that my husband has given me, is to fully embrace, light up, love, and most of all enjoy all the pleasure that I can. It’s the only thing I can do to repay the graciousness, selflessness, and unconditional love that my husband demonstrates to me with this gift.

So, here I am. Navigating these waters with my husband, my best friend by my side. I get to steer the boat. What a concept! I get to go and explore where I want to go. Again, who would’ve thought! I am fully aware that I am navigating this journey. However, I am also fully aware that my husband is on it with me.

One of the reasons why this lifestyle has been so powerful for both of us is because of how connected, in love, passionately committed and dedicated to each other that we are.

What else can I say? Sure, it’s fun to be kinky and be a slut and embrace that big piece of who I am and always have been. But, it doesn’t come for free. For me, acknowledging that piece and experiencing the freedom that goes along with it comes with a price. It means that I have to face all of the lies I’ve heard my entire life that have oppressed me, pained me, shamed me, guilted me, and condemned me. All of those lies I’ve been told, I actually believed for a very long time. Fully diving into this lifestyle for me isn’t just because I absolutely LOVE being completely filled by BBC, although that is definitely a very BIG plus . It’s more than that though. It’s me facing who I am and what I like. It’s me saying F***K YOU to everyone in my life that has shamed me, put me down, and have been disgusted with who I am. This lifestyle is way more than just physical pleasure for me. It’s been ground breaking, paradigm shifting, lie breaking, life changing acceptance and love for myself for the first time in my life.

I can’t even begin to describe how honored and grateful I am that my husband chose me to be his wife. To be loved by my husband is the biggest gift of all. However, If you would’ve told me that these lifestyles and explorations and adventures with my husband would heal and free both of us, I honestly don’t know if I would’ve believed it.

It takes courage to break out of all the BS that has imprisoned us. It takes even more courage to live out your authentic truth. And most of all, it takes even more courage to love the parts of ourself that others have thrown in the trash and spit on. So, for every HotWife reading this post, you’re amazing! I am proud to be one of you, officially .

That being said, I have my first official HotWife date in 3 days. I told my husband that he is going to help me get ready for my date. He is going to watch me shower and help me get dressed. He is going to take pictures of me in my tight black dress and high black heels while I put on my make up. He is going to go down on my before my date. I told him that on the date I “may” flirt and touch my potential new lover. This was a bit shocking to him because I have never done that before. However, I guess there’s a first time for everything . After the date I let my husband know that I may or may not bring this gentleman home. There is a piece of me that wants to decide now whether or not that will happen…but what can I say, I love the suspense.

I hope you all don’t mind, but I am going to be documenting the buildup to this date and the date itself on this thread. Should I post pics too? Let me know what you all want...

i'm, certainly, interested.

 

[Wtfidk1966]

I told my husband a few months ago that I would ask him on 3 separate occasions if he really wanted me to embrace this HotWife lifestyle fully. I asked him if he really wanted to unleash me, free me, and bring out this piece of me that I’ve shoved down for a very long time. A few days ago, I asked him for the 3rd and final time. He drew me in close, looked me in the eyes a little apprehensively but fully present and with conviction, stared directly into my soul and said yes. He told me that he wanted to love every piece of me…every side of me, and he wanted to me to enjoy it.

A few days have passed since he gave me his 3rd and final answer. I wasted no time. I started contacting man after man. There has been so many conflicting emotions in this new beginning to fully dive into this lifestyle that is not for the faint of heart. Conflicting emotions like questioning if this will hurt my husband, create distance between us, feeling morally wrong and unfaithful(due to my evangelical Christian upbringing), feeling wrong that I do seem to posses a bit of a Sadist mentality with this, enjoying the tease, the tension, the buildup, the masochistic pain, the freedom, the joy, the excitement, the love, the fear of the unknown. I feel like I’m charting unknown waters in the middle of the ocean. I’m terrified of what’s to come while navigating these waters, but at the same time I’m fully awake, fully alive, fully present, fully horny, fully in charge for the first time in my life of my own sexuality, my own body. What is this new life that’s been granted to me? After a lifetime of trauma and pain and agony, I now have a husband that sees me, loves me, cherishes me, encourages me, hears me, and has freed me to embrace the slut that I am. He sees my darkness and shares his with me. And here we are jumping down into the rabbit hole of unknown adventures, pleasure, intimacy, love, freedom, and empowerment. The only appropriate response to this gift that my husband has given me, is to fully embrace, light up, love, and most of all enjoy all the pleasure that I can. It’s the only thing I can do to repay the graciousness, selflessness, and unconditional love that my husband demonstrates to me with this gift.

So, here I am. Navigating these waters with my husband, my best friend by my side. I get to steer the boat. What a concept! I get to go and explore where I want to go. Again, who would’ve thought! I am fully aware that I am navigating this journey. However, I am also fully aware that my husband is on it with me.

One of the reasons why this lifestyle has been so powerful for both of us is because of how connected, in love, passionately committed and dedicated to each other that we are.

What else can I say? Sure, it’s fun to be kinky and be a slut and embrace that big piece of who I am and always have been. But, it doesn’t come for free. For me, acknowledging that piece and experiencing the freedom that goes along with it comes with a price. It means that I have to face all of the lies I’ve heard my entire life that have oppressed me, pained me, shamed me, guilted me, and condemned me. All of those lies I’ve been told, I actually believed for a very long time. Fully diving into this lifestyle for me isn’t just because I absolutely LOVE being completely filled by BBC, although that is definitely a very BIG plus . It’s more than that though. It’s me facing who I am and what I like. It’s me saying F***K YOU to everyone in my life that has shamed me, put me down, and have been disgusted with who I am. This lifestyle is way more than just physical pleasure for me. It’s been ground breaking, paradigm shifting, lie breaking, life changing acceptance and love for myself for the first time in my life.

I can’t even begin to describe how honored and grateful I am that my husband chose me to be his wife. To be loved by my husband is the biggest gift of all. However, If you would’ve told me that these lifestyles and explorations and adventures with my husband would heal and free both of us, I honestly don’t know if I would’ve believed it.

It takes courage to break out of all the BS that has imprisoned us. It takes even more courage to live out your authentic truth. And most of all, it takes even more courage to love the parts of ourself that others have thrown in the trash and spit on. So, for every HotWife reading this post, you’re amazing! I am proud to be one of you, officially .

That being said, I have my first official HotWife date in 3 days. I told my husband that he is going to help me get ready for my date. He is going to watch me shower and help me get dressed. He is going to take pictures of me in my tight black dress and high black heels while I put on my make up. He is going to go down on my before my date. I told him that on the date I “may” flirt and touch my potential new lover. This was a bit shocking to him because I have never done that before. However, I guess there’s a first time for everything . After the date I let my husband know that I may or may not bring this gentleman home. There is a piece of me that wants to decide now whether or not that will happen…but what can I say, I love the suspense.

I hope you all don’t mind, but I am going to be documenting the buildup to this date and the date itself on this thread. Should I post pics too? Let me know what you all want...

Yes please do updates/pics...

 

[jaughn7070]

Your new journey begins. Freedom! What to do with it? A date with a potential new lover sounds good. Including your husband sounds fun.

It seems like you are starting to realize you are a good, desirable, special woman and the people in your past that tried to make you feel otherwise were selfish, insecure, and wrong. They should be forgotten. They don't value you. They were crabs in a bucket, just trying to keep you from crawling out and having your freedom to live life on your terms.

Definitely keep us posted on the lead up to your date. And of course we want pictures! You are a beautiful woman.

 

[Swinksters]

Your new journey begins. Freedom! What to do with it? A date with a potential new lover sounds good. Including your husband sounds fun.

It seems like you are starting to realize you are a good, desirable, special woman and the people in your past that tried to make you feel otherwise were selfish, insecure, and wrong. They should be forgotten. They don't value you. They were crabs in a bucket, just trying to keep you from crawling out and having your freedom to live life on your terms.

Definitely keep us posted on the lead up to your date. And of course we want pictures! You are a beautiful woman.

Your replies to my husband's posts and my own posts are something that we both so value, love, and look forward too! Thank you so much for your kind words. I love the analogy of the crabs in the bucket that you mentioned. That is so true! Also, my husband so appreciates your wise words. Thank you for being there for him as well. He needs more people like yourself whether it be just for support or to share our experiences to receive feedback. It means a lot to me that you are one of those people for him <3.

 

[jaughn7070]

I love the journey you and your husband are on.

I think it is great God put you two together as it seems you are a good match.

I hope you have a blast as a free-to-do-as-you-wish hotwife.

I know your husband is excited & nervous about the Pandora's box he's opened with his third "yes" to you.

Be kind to each other. Have fun!

And always remember what is most important - your love for each other. Don't let someone jeopardize that. Forgiveness is an important aspect of this lifestyle.

 

[Swinksters]

Well, here's an update for the books. I was supposed to have my first "official" HotWife date with a potential new lover tonight. However, unfortunately I was not feeling physically well so I was going to reschedule. Prior to having to reschedule he was texting me throughout the day before. I was not able to reply. He kept nagging for me to answer. So I finally did reply, canceling the date the next day. He then told me that I wasn't supposed to cum until we reschedule and he's the one that makes me cum and he's goin to make me cum so good better than anyone else.

Ok, first off, if you read my initial post talking about what a big deal it was for me to finally be in control of my own sexuality and body, then you know why I am so angry at this potential new lover who I haven't even met in person and thinks he has control over something so personal. I just processed this with my husband and he wondered if the reason this so legitimately pressed my buttons is because of the whole social justice miracle that's just starting to occur is me as a woman taking my power back in regards to my wishes, my needs, my desires, my empowerment, my autonomy, and my strength. It's taken a long time for me to give myself what was always supposed to have been mine from the beginning.

So, I am still looking for my first "official" HotWife date with a new lover. And the journey still continues...

 

[sm1982]

Well, here's an update for the books. I was supposed to have my first "official" HotWife date with a potential new lover tonight. However, unfortunately I was not feeling physically well so I was going to reschedule. Prior to having to reschedule he was texting me throughout the day before. I was not able to reply. He kept nagging for me to answer. So I finally did reply, canceling the date the next day. He then told me that I wasn't supposed to cum until we reschedule and he's the one that makes me cum and he's goin to make me cum so good better than anyone else.

Ok, first off, if you read my initial post talking about what a big deal it was for me to finally be in control of my own sexuality and body, then you know why I am so angry at this potential new lover who I haven't even met in person and thinks he has control over something so personal. I just processed this with my husband and he wondered if the reason this so legitimately pressed my buttons is because of the whole social justice miracle that's just starting to occur is me as a woman taking my power back in regards to my wishes, my needs, my desires, my empowerment, my autonomy, and my strength. It's taken a long time for me to give myself what was always supposed to have been mine from the beginning.

So, I am still looking for my first "official" HotWife date with a new lover. And the journey still continues...

I am sorry about your false starts. I suppose some men could use some help speaking with women over the Internet, which is such a weird communication medium. I hope you have better luck next time.

 

[PhoenixNRowena]

Don't betray that trust and love he gives you. I've read a few that set some perimeter so that they would always have time for each other for weekends together etc. suddenly the bull wants her to spend the weekend, or more without the husband. She asks him , sometimes begs husband to go. He usually allows it only because she put him in the position to have to say no to her, when it was her that should have said no when the bull asked her. Now that was the thing he was trying to avoid, then your off with bull as his wish was dismissed. So can you see how much responsibility it takes to enjoy sexual freedom and keep your love alive for the long haul. The goal should be enhancement of your relationship with husband, not enhancement of the bull

I agree, it takes a lot of responsibility. In our opinion, the Bull or Lover or BBC, whatever you want to call it, should always go to the husband first. Even if the Bull later on brings it up to the wife himself and the husband doesn't tell her first, he has shown the husband respect toward their marriage, because the marriage always comes first and the Bull should understand that. Depending on his attitude, if he were to ask the wife first - IMO as a woman - that would be grounds to end things there, permanently. Even without consulting my husband about it, just telling him immediately afterward everything that had occurred. ~ R

 

[jaughn7070]

A false start.
That's all this was.
The date took on a dominant "bull" roll, thinking that's what you and your husband were looking for. Without being told otherwise, he made the assumption he should he assertive and you were revolted by the 'control' he was trying to exert.

You are right to feel as you do!

But the date was right to play the "bull" roll the way he did, if no one warned him to not do that with you.

As mentioned by @PhoenixNRowena this is where Potential Lover communication with husband BEFORE the date would have paid off. Potential Lover - not being a mind reader - could have been educated on your history and warned by husband to not be domineering and controlling as that is a major turn-off for you.

But...it's the beginning and you are still learning this lifestyle, what you are into, what triggers you (maybe you didn't even realize it until it happened?), and that's normal. The learning curve is steep at first.

Which is why I wrote earlier, "Forgiveness is an important aspect of this lifestyle."
You are going to make mistakes.
Your husband is going to make mistakes.
Your lovers will make mistakes.

Try to breathe, take in the lesson just learned, forgive your Potential Lover for not knowing you (yet), and try again. If not with this guy, someone else more suited to YOUR desires. But you or hubby are going to have to COMMUNICATE those desires.

I used to have a list of do's & dont's I would send to potential lovers so they could push the "happy buttons" for my wife and avoid the "bad buttons".
Just an example:
DO talk about the Philadelphia Eagles (positively)
DO have fresh breathe and DONT smell like cigarettes
DONT pull her hair during sex (she hates that)
DONT slap her ass during sex (she hates that)
DO suck her nipples GENTLY. She likes pleasure, not pain.

With some guidance, a potential lover can "score" and make it fun for everyone. With no guidance, they are going to navigate blind and cross into "NO" zones which could ******* the entire event, just like you discovered.

Don't be discouraged. Regroup. Learn. Try again. It will get better and better w/time.