Dueling HotWife/Stag Chronicles (Stag Version)

[Swinksters]

Just because one has the power and authority to do anything they want, must they? Should they?

You are of course, right, exercising such freedom and power should be done with empathy, kindness, and loyalty.

The good news here is that my wife is overflowing with all three of these attributes. Although some of this is definitely challenging for me, I am really loving the rush of it all. I know in my heart, that if it becomes, either overwhelming or destructive to myself, she will immediately cease and desist exploring this lifestyle any further.

So, no need to worry here, I’m extremely fortunate in that I am consciously giving my power over to somebody that is worthy of being of being trusted with it. I’m in good hands.

We got back from Vegas sfter seeing what’s left of the Grateful Dead at the Sphere. It was like taking LSD without actually taking LSD. However, we caught some really nasty virus and have been sick as dogs. Even though we could hardly breathe or walk, we still hopped in bed together and had some bref fun.

She suddenly changed her energy again on me and mounted me from above, and this time brought out her iPad. She shared with me the ongoing conversation she’s having with a gentleman. It was extremely hot. She told me that as soon as she’s a little bit better from this cold, she’s planning an upcoming date with him. At first I got nervous because I wasn’t sure if she was going to go on the date without me. I’m not sure what that would be like for me. However, she saw my anxiety and assured me she was taking me on a date with him. I’m not sure if she did that because it was her original plan, or she was just worried that she upset at me. I haven’t had the courage yet to ask

So, it appears the only thing stopping us from jumping further into this is a cold.

 

[Blackasslover6]

Hope you both get healthy quick, I enjoy your post and I think you need some theme music to go along with the mood!! Sometimes I don't know how I think about these, but I thought it would give you a laugh

 

[Swinksters]

Well,

At long last, it has finally happened. My wife presented me for the third and final time the overwhelming triggering question of whether or not I wanted to fully release her to follow forward in her HotWifing with complete abandon. We both got our asses kicked this summer by a myriad of real life problems that distracted us from this particular endeavor. Thankfully, we're back to our regularly scheduled life able to continue with all good things.

She has on occasion teased me by reminding me she still had one last question to ask me. So the awareness of this issue has always been in the back of my mind. Although I originally was both thankful and excited by all of this, I became increasingly uncomfortable and slightly threatened by it. In fact, I was becoming increasingly thankful that there were other things getting in the way of her asking me the third and last question.

Don't get me wrong, I've wanted this for some time now. However, it lost a little bit of its fun when some of the appropriate apprehension started to sink in. This is no small thing. It's one thing to fantasize about it and it's another thing to actually fully live it. So, I do have some empathy for my poor self at this particular time of the transition. I also don't take for granted how unbelievably fortunate I am to be the very rare bird to be in this particular position. As I have mentioned before, I honestly never thought that I would have any of this even though I passionately enjoyed this forum for many many years prior.

The anticipation of this last discussion was becoming increasingly uncomfortable and filled with tension for me. Therefore, I was glad that my wife finally presented me the question for the third time this past Thursday. She wonderfully did this in a very sexual way for me because she wanted to excite me and give me pleasure with it. I was somewhat surprised to organically see that that is not how I wanted to have this final discussion. She was looking down while riding me (my absolute favorite position) when she got that evil energy and looked me deep in the eyes and asked me one last time if I really wanted her to be a full-time HotWife. I took her head in my hands and pulled her very close down to me and requested that we just discuss this in a non-sexual way. It was actually just what I needed to do.

I looked at her with loving eyes and asked her if this is really what she wanted and that she wasn't just doing it for me. We discussed her incredible evolution of reading a wonderful book called The Ethical Slut two years ago and the internal journey she had to navigate in order to admit to herself this is who she is and this what she wants. I always feel uncomfortable as a male referring to myself as a feminist. But I am. I do appreciate the 10,000 years of history that prevents a woman from owning her own sexuality in the way that a man can. I've been very, very impressed and proud of her as a woman to be able to get to this point within herself. It's been an amazing thing to see up close and personal. I really respect this about her. It's an enormous accomplishment for her to be able to say out loud that she wants this for herself. Right on! I'm proud that I played some role in helping her get to this place.

We then had to specifically address some of the parameters of what this would mean. What can she do, what can't she do? I knew in my heart what my own answer was. However, that doesn't mean there aren't conflicting feelings and fears that stop me from being able to manifest this. So I took a big breath and told her that they’re simply are no parameters, no rules, no structure, no limits.

Although it was both exciting and frightening to say out loud to her, I told her that she is now free to flirt, date, or have sex with any man she wants, anytime she wants, any place she wants, and as often as she wants.

Let me tell you guys, it took a lot for me to say that. It's funny, I'm voice dictating this post into my computer and I just got sprayed with a whole host of hormones and neurotransmitters as I just said it again here. Holy cow! Again, this ain't no joke.

It was a very sacred and intimate moment when I officially granted her complete permission to move forward. It definitely brought us even closer together. And then we had swinging from the chandelier animalistic sex right after. I needed that. I have been somewhat dreading with anxiety this last conversation.

The last few days I have been drowning in work, and she has been drowning in school. We've kind of been in survival mode. Nevertheless, she has casually let me know. She has been in constant contact with other men and has already scheduled some meet ups. She's completely disclosed and invites me to be aware of anything she does. But honestly, I had to focus on work and didn't dare ask any questions. That doesn't mean it hasn't been obsessively and constantly in my mind. I just didn't dare open any of this up. It's now Saturday, and I guess it's time. Part of me is excited and the other part of me is completely nervous again. I guess that's just going to be the nature of this for me going forward for at least a while. I'm having my first experience of being a masochist. It's strange, stimulating, exhausting, uncomfortable, and exciting. Oy vey.


I realize I no longer have any excuse to check in and see what she's been up to the last few days. So, it would appear this journey has already departed, and we're both on it. I think it's time to cut back on my caffeine intake. I'm high enough already.

 

[jaughn7070]

Wow. There it is. The door is open and you are both stepping thru it, together. I have to say, I totally respect how you both approached this. She asked you three times, over a period of time, if this is really what you wanted. That gave you both time to consider it, process it, and envision it. Then - when you were able to give your answer for the third time - you made a very rare but (I think) mature decision to put no restrictions on her. Bravo. Good call.

But...it's scary! Now your relationship is like everyone elses but with one big difference - a moment of infidelity in your marriage won't blow it up and destroy it. On the contrary, it will heat things up & bring you closer, in an odd way.

Let's face facts, in any relationship both parties are free to do what they want. Spend money foolishly, lie to each other, and sleep with other people. The only limit there really is, is the self-discipline to NOT do those things and the trust that your partner won't either.

But people are fallible. They have desires and drives and wants. They may chose to have sex w/someone else. Then hide it, which is corrosive. With your relationship - for her anyway - sleeping with others is totally fine. Accepted. Agreed upon. Desired, in a way. She will act only on her own instincts of what she believes would be okay w/you and will avoid hurting you when possible just because she loves you and not because of some "rule" in place. Rules are pretty much made just to be broken. You bypassed that & skipped imposing any. She can pursue her desires freely. Isn't that kind of the whole point?

In a 'closed' marriage, people get hurt and devastated when the rules get broken. Trust is lost. And the relationship crumbles at that point. It would seem so much better if couples could accept some infidelity by being honest w/each other and giving that permission. There would be fewer divorces and less lying, resulting in less anger and anxiety. But we are so insecure and afraid, so we lock down on the rules, take away freedom, then get crushed when the seemingly inevitable happens. What good did the rules really do? None.

Be good to each other. Be kind. Have fun. Pursue desires. And try to always come back to trust and reclaiming your wife when she returns to you with tales of her adventures. I wish you joy and happiness in the journey ahead. Thanks for sharing your progression.

 

[Swinksters]

Wow. There it is. The door is open and you are both stepping thru it, together. I have to say, I totally respect how you both approached this. She asked you three times, over a period of time, if this is really what you wanted. That gave you both time to consider it, process it, and envision it. Then - when you were able to give your answer for the third time - you made a very rare but (I think) mature decision to put no restrictions on her. Bravo. Good call.

But...it's scary! Now your relationship is like everyone elses but with one big difference - a moment of infidelity in your marriage won't blow it up and destroy it. On the contrary, it will heat things up & bring you closer, in an odd way.

Let's face facts, in any relationship both parties are free to do what they want. Spend money foolishly, lie to each other, and sleep with other people. The only limit there really is, is the self-discipline to NOT do those things and the trust that your partner won't either.

But people are fallible. They have desires and drives and wants. They may chose to have sex w/someone else. Then hide it, which is corrosive. With your relationship - for her anyway - sleeping with others is totally fine. Accepted. Agreed upon. Desired, in a way. She will act only on her own instincts of what she believes would be okay w/you and will avoid hurting you when possible just because she loves you and not because of some "rule" in place. Rules are pretty much made just to be broken. You bypassed that & skipped imposing any. She can pursue her desires freely. Isn't that kind of the whole point?

In a 'closed' marriage, people get hurt and devastated when the rules get broken. Trust is lost. And the relationship crumbles at that point. It would seem so much better if couples could accept some infidelity by being honest w/each other and giving that permission. There would be fewer divorces and less lying, resulting in less anger and anxiety. But we are so insecure and afraid, so we lock down on the rules, take away freedom, then get crushed when the seemingly inevitable happens. What good did the rules really do? None.

Be good to each other. Be kind. Have fun. Pursue desires. And try to always come back to trust and reclaiming your wife when she returns to you with tales of her adventures. I wish you joy and happiness in the journey ahead. Thanks for sharing your progression.

Your posts on this thread are always well thought out, brilliantly articulated, and full of contant. Seriously, this could be an official treaties that should permanently be posted somewhere on the site for outsiders to read, who are confused or judgmental about this lifestyle. It would I imagine, provide a lot food for thought that would challenge some of the presuppositions they have and cause them no small amount of cognitive dissonance.

I showed my wife my last post before I went public with it here. She lit up like a Christmas tree. We both had a laugh at this new power differential that has manifested between us.

Unfortunately, we then had to run out and get our latest Covid vaccine booster. It seemed prudent to do so now that she's dating others. We then ran out to celebrate her sobriety anniversary and ran back early, so she could share who she's been contacting. However, we believe we are both now beginning to feel the side effects of that damn shot, so we're not sure we should discuss any of this until tomorrow!

 

[jaughn7070]

Thanks for the kind words. I guess I've just thought about the 'lifestyle' a lot over the years as my wife and I have explored things and certain epiphanies occur to you over time.

You and your wife have put a lot of thought into this, too, and have been kind enough to share your thoughts on your journey. It's been refreshing and interesting to read and I want it to work out and go well for you both.

Hopefully you feel better in a day or two. Those covid shots left my arm aching for days.

 

[Swinksters]

Well,

I'm grateful we ended up deciding to ******* ourselves to have sex last night, because the side effects of the Covid shot left us completely destroyed both last night and today. It was both somewhat predictable and completely unfair that my wife experienced a little bit of blowback yesterday for her decision to move forward fully and being a Hot Wife. We talked it through and she was once again was able to separate herself from her evangelical background, 10,000 years of history and reclaim her true self again. She completely entered into her take charge energy during sex and shocked the hell out of me a few quick questions I was not prepared for.

She asked if I needed to be present for her dates. This I did not see coming. My current compass heading and mantra is for me that to answer that I want to give to any of her questions is - Always whatever she wants to do with complete freedom. However, this scared the crap out of me. I gave her the stock answer that I'm trying to hold to, and was a little bit relieved that she then replied that She had no immediate plans to do so. Catastrophe narrow but temporary averted. She then let me know that she had several plans in place and asked me the exquisitely complicated question of whether I wanted to know what they were in advance. What the hell to do here? I believe I contradicted my immediate answer two or three times within 10 minutes. If memory serves me correct, the last answer was, she can just surprise me. It kind of feels like a double bind either way. Pain and pleasure on either side of this equation.

She then informed me we were going on a date Wednesday and that she wanted to be wined and dined. Cardiac arrest. I did not know she wanted to be wined and dined by another man. I thought that was my job. I guess not so much anymore. Although I suppose chivalry dictates that I continue to whine and dine her while she enjoys other men doing the same for her. Seriously, when you write this out, you realize how insane this all this.

So, I responsibly blocked out Wednesday evening in my work schedule for what I suppose is a date that I'm going on but not having. That makes no sense does it? I am predicting that there is going to be a substantial shift in my posting here going forward for the next foreseeable future. I will no longer be discussing some of the theoretical aspects of all of this. I shall be reporting on her being wined and dined on her dates and her having sex with her new lovers.

But wait, there's more. She then casually informed me that she was either currently working on arranging for, or has already arranged for a gangbang for herself to enjoy. This is not usually something a husband experiences his wife telling him. As is always the case now, I became completely scrambled. What is the proper etiquette here? Aren't I supposed to arrange for a gangbang? Apparently not. There's a loss of control about this. Is this going to be a regular thing? What is my role to be in any of this. I am realizing how much freedom my wife is genuinely taking here. It's strange. I don't exactly understand how old this place out yet. It's all very surreal. Again, sexually stimulating and emotionally frightening all at the same time.

The last thing she briefly mentioned with the smile of a succubus, as she was unclear how sadistic she both wanted an intended to be. This unfortunately, appeared to be in direct relation to her attitude and energy for me. Interesting. I'm not sure I fully appreciated sadism was part of the package I signed up for. I guess I should've read the fine print of this new contract. I signed.

Again, I no longer need caffeine.

 

[jaughn7070]

She is moving fast! But I guess she has had time to ponder all these possibilities and is ready to get this party started. Maybe she is trying to get as much in now before you come to your senses (I'm kidding!) and change your mind.

She knows you best so I think part of this is just some good old mind phucking to stir you up and keep you on edge a bit. She knows what pushes your sexual buttons - and she's pushing them!

The question is, are you happy? Excited? Intrigued? Or are you genuinely worried you've unleashed the female kraken & you may find yourself abandoned and lost in the shuffle? If so, maybe ask for a very brief 'pause' so you can figure out your comfort level as you get operation sexual freedom underway at full-speed.

Do you need to be present? Good question. I think for her safety, the answer is yes if it is a total stranger on a first meet (date). If he turns out to be cuckoo for cocoa puffs, you don't want her alone trying to figure out an escape plan from him. You are the escape plan! So being present - at least initially - might be something to consider. You'll figure out a plan; some guidelines you both like for safety's sake.

I'm curious how date night Weds goes. Are you all three having dinner (wining & dining) & then you'll be leaving for the 69'ing portion of the evening? Or are you unsure of the full plan yourself?

And then there is the pending gang bang. Wow! That's a big initial step. For most couples there's a progression of sorts where you get to the "hey, what do you think about trying a gang bang next?" But she's already got that cued up and on-deck! I love a gal that knows what she wants and goes for it.

I think you are just along for the ride. Hold tight and try to be zen & secure in the knowledge that she LOVES YOU. All these other guys are the 'stunt cocks' to be used at her discretion, for her pleasure.

 

[Swinksters]

I just had a conversation with my wife in the car and now I find myself suddenly wanting to post here. I don't actually have anyone in my life to talk about this directly with, so it's somewhat cathartic and even comforting to process it on this site. I also just begged my wife to please post herself on her thread in the Hot Wife Forum, as I imagine reading her experiences is going to be much more fascinating than reading mine. So, she's in the other room posting right now.

She asked me if I was excited about her first real date as a hot wife this Wednesday. I said I was, but she knows me a little too well to ignore some hesitancy in the way that I answered. She stated that she felt a little guilty by my lack of enthusiasm and so she was holding back a little on her own excitement. I of course, felt terrible about this as I want her to enjoy every freaking aspect of this.

When we got home, I took her immediately to the bed where we cuddle and talk things out. I reminded her again that some of my tightness was similar to seeing a scary movie or going on a roller coaster. The roller coaster analogy really lit up as she was a fan of that earlier in her life. I let her know that this ride was really scary, but really fun. I asked her to continue to ride with me on this amusement park even though I will sometimes scream as we are defying gravity and descending in a loop to loop fashion. This is so resonated with her. Mission accomplished.

She then asked me if I wanted to know what we were doing Wednesday. I decided that this time I was not yet ready for a complete surprise, so I asked her to fill me in. She let me know that she's been communicating back-and-forth with a gentleman named Raul, and she was thoroughly vetting him in the way only she can. She then broke down how this is going to take place. I was taken aback by how much imagination she had put into all of this.

She informed me that she will involve me in her getting ready for her date with her bathing, dressing, makeup, etc. She then told me she is going to have me take pictures of her doing all of this. I suppose we shall post some of these here? She then told me that she would have me go down on her and lick her to excitement before we left to get ready for her date. She gave me a heads up that she was going to be very flirtatious on her date and kissing and touching will probably be part of it.

She has apparently let her date know that she may or may not take him home to bed after the date, depending upon how she felt in the moment. I would imagine her having me go down on her before the date might tip the scale in regards to how all of that plays out. She also informed him that he cannot come in her bareback for the first few dates because we have never done anything like that before. The interesting thing here of course, is that she is apparently open to doing that soon. We have fantasized about this in the past, and it was exciting to talk about, but I honestly don't know if I have the wherewithal to withstand that in reality. I guess I am going to find out one way or another soon enough.
Although she is a very disclosed person and speaks in a direct and purposeful way, I'm still a little surprised to hear how specifically she is talking about all of us with the several men She is apparently communicating with. Part of me wants her to actually show me some of these text messages. The other part of me is a little scared to see them all. I guess this is the masochistic part of this that I've yet to fully navigate.

I'm also curious as hell to read whatever it is she is posting in the other room. It's an opportunity for me to get more information about what is in store for both of us. She is completely happy to directly answer Any questions I may have. But I'm still a little shy and confused about asking about all the specifics here as all of this just really started two days ago. So, I may learn more about this with the rest of you by reading her posts.

I'm seriously curious about how she came up with such a specific scenario that she has planned for this Wednesday. Was this all a result of her own imagination, or has she been reading some of the other posts and or stories on this site. It is sure is reminiscent of other situations that I've read on this site long before I knew her. It really is an outer body experience now actually living through it.

She tried to comfort me by pointing out that she has been with three other BBCs before and this is actually just an expanded version of that. I told her that I totally disagree. This feels very different. She is very different. I am very different in it. This really is a whole new thing. I am merely a guest, spectator, and hopefully a fan. She and her lovers are actually the players on the field. I just happen to have front row and center tickets to watch the thing play out live directly in front of me.

Wednesday will be fascinating for all three of us, but perhaps in very different ways.

 

[Swinksters]

Maybe she is trying to get as much in now before you come to your senses (I'm kidding!) and change your mind.

LOL!

 

[jaughn7070]

I think your wife has a head full of sexually adventurous ideas floating around in it and you have opened the gates allowing those ideas to roam free and manifest themselves. That's great! You are buckled in and the rollercoaster is about to depart. Hang on! It should be a fun ride together.

By the way, your rollercoaster analogy was good! Coasters are fun and exciting but still kinda scary. The unknown is that way. But you are in this together and either one of you can pull the emergency stop lever at any point. Regroup. Then press on. That's fine.

Sometimes you think you are going to feel ok with everything but then its happening and maybe you are freaking out a bit. You (or she) wouldn't be the first to feel that way. But my advice is to try very hard to NOT stop anything if you can help it. Ride it out, as it were, and talk through it afterward. Facing your fears and keeping your cool in the face of them builds resilience. And trust. That's important.

 

[Swinksters]

My wife just posted on her thread about her scheduled date tonight going bad, and I thought I'd quickly throw out a couple of thoughts myself.

Her first official date as a HotWife just took a nose dive for legitimate reasons. I think the lad got himself a little overstimulated and sent way too many texts the day before the date. He also wanted to send dick pics. Stupid! She wanted to be wined and dined and treated with respect, before being treated as a slut. That would have been the elegant and intelligent place to start as a prerequisite.

When she canceled the date he then made the truly fatal mistake of telling her she was not allowed to touch herself until they rescheduled. Oh, boy. That wasn't just presumptuous, it was idiotic. She has never even met him. My wife had to fight through so much to be at this new place, where she can finally become independent, empowered, strong, and the one who makes decisions for herself. Patriarchy was not what she was looking for. Being a HotWife is the exact opposite of just that. SHE has the power, SHE makes the the decisions, SHE drives the car, and SHE authors the play.

I was at first not fully comprehending the organic nature of her anger at all of this nonsense. I think I'm fully getting it now. It goes against everything she just started. Perhaps, in the right situation she may choose to temporally allow herself to give her power over to one of her new lovers, during one of their encounters. But, of course, SHE would be the one to first make that decision, communicate HER wishes, and inform HER lover that that was the nature of the play that SHE wanted because SHE liked it. It might be OK for him to inquire about that potential power exchange in advance, but he sure as heck must not assume that that's what she wants in advance. I think we all know the irony here is that he can only give orders if she decides to give him that temporary right because she wants it because, she's the one with all the power here. Duh.

I've gone from being a little confused too quite pissed off myself now. It took a lot for me to acquire the courage to give my wife this gift. It took even more from her to use her courage to go against everything she was ever taught and take it. This is about freeing her from others wants, judgments, or desires. This is unleashing her incredible power and letting her take charge and tell the rest of us what SHE wants. Understandably, there's been a lot of blowback for her in the five or so days that she accepted her new position as a full HotWife.

As much as I feel bad that her that first step out here didn't go well, I also see something of great value that has expressed itself in this unfortunate situation. I see the possibility that her justified anger is a useful connection to her power going forward with all of this. Anger is the opposite of shame or guilt. Anger is the opposite of learned helplessness. My wife is not an angry person. I'm proud to see her allow herself to have her anger here. Although this lifestyle is terribly sexually stimulating (and equally horrifying), this is about so much more than sex. This is about healing, transformation, metamorphosis, equality, feminism, righting several millennium of wrongs.

I believe I am going to get to soon witness her unbridling of all of her restrictions that will translate into both joy and sexuality. As always, I'm terribly excited, and equally frightened! Either way, I'm really proud of her, and I'm proud of myself to be the one supporting her here. I am vaguely aware that she is in contact with several other men. I look forward to her scheduling her next and first official date has a HotWife with one of them soon.

 

[Swinksters]

Well,

I just had a heart attack.

My wife just told me that she wants to open her own private profile on a swingers site as a HotWife. I am now experiencing the strange new phenomenon of being extremely anxious while having an uncontrollable erection. Man, this is some strong, high octane stuff. Part of me is fighting panic, the other part of me is turned on. She just told me this, so I have not accessed the courage to say yes. Then again, I'm not sure she needs my permission anyway, which is even more upsetting.

I guess the good news is she appears to have reacquired her forward momentum of all of us. Is that good news?

 

[WittySkitty]

Sometimes, it's better to let go and see where it goes. I wish the best of luck to you!

 

[jaughn7070]

You gave her freedom. Her telling/consulting you about her plans is a courtesy, really. It's good though. If you see a danger or issue with her plan, you two can talk it out. Otherwise...enjoy the ride!