All my life I was taught to be a good girl. Catholic school, strict Canadian parents. Moving to Iowa where it is 96% white. Becoming a wife, mom, Girl Scout leader and soccer mom. Working in a conservative law firm. Never any action or danger. Often think of the taboo of stepping outside with a black guy, getting knocked up where the math totally doesn’t work and the aghast reaction of friends, neighbors, my family and the ladies at the country club when my surprise was sprung on them. Imagining a trucker passing through town or a guy I picked up in a bar in Oak Hill, far from my suburban enclave of Linn Junction doing the deed. Using my left hand to guide his BBC into my fertile, marred womb so he can see my 1+ carat ring gleaming in the light. Knowing for the next nine month with every morning sickness, pain and kick that I had committed the ultimate surrender.