PUSHY MEN

Molly1980

Molly1980

Female
Real Person
Gold Member
From
CA, US
I am not sure if it is proper ediquite or not to be pushy. I feel it is not... I understand why this site exist and clearly everyone is at different level.

I hate rushing into anything. I get so many guys telling me RIGHT AWAY "let's meet". And I feel pressured and I don't like it. That is how bad things happen to women. Its SCARY to just chat online and meet them as FAST AS POSSIBLE.

And when you try to avoid the conversation going into this pressure, they accuse you of being a waste of time, not serious, fake, blah blah blah.

Is it wrong that I am careful? Are we really expected to just MEET UP with every guy who sends us a message? He could have STD's, he could be a psycho, he could be catfishing, WHO KNOWS.

I feel proper ediquite is to wait for the lady or couple invite the bull. Let us make the move when we feel comfortable. Being pushy is CREEPY
 
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You have to be good at setting boundaries and communicating them. Also you cant care what people think of you for sticking to them. By maintaining standards, you'll meet the guys that hold themselves to a standards which I would guess are the higher quality guys.

Work on your boundary setting and then you can truly claim to be "picky".
 
As everyone else has said, stick to your boundaries. Block or Report them if necessary. Even I have come off the wrong way before understanding the etiquette necessary to not come off "rude" or "pushy".

Alternatively, you could point them to one of the threads on here explaining the process of how this all works for most people/couples/etc. They;ll either get it or not, sometimes folks will choose to be dense over bowing down to Logic & Empathy.

Being careful, especially as a Woman, is a top priority, no one is going to look out for you, how you would look out for yourself at the end of the day, so a good vetting process Is always necessary, ESPECIALLY w/ sexual deviancy. The last part though, it all depends, couples have responded to me simply b/c I wasn't Rude and shared a piece of my identity w/ them as well, it's a 50/50 game really but I know participating on the forum helps a ton too, everyone isn't everyone's cup of tea, no matter how confident they are that they are attractive.
 
Molly1980 said:
I appreciate the feedback. I hate disappointing and fighting and offending. So I fall into a dark place when people get strange with me. I am not a mean person
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Women are pretty universally conditioned to be pleasant and accommodating regardless of the situation and it generally contributes to us being taken advantage of/assaulted.

You have every right to say no and set your own terms. Trust your gut, don't let shitheads talk you into anything you're uncomfortable with. You don't owe them sweet fuck all.
 
avaadore said:
Women are pretty universally conditioned to be pleasant and accommodating regardless of the situation and it generally contributes to us being taken advantage of/assaulted.

You have every right to say no and set your own terms. Trust your gut, don't let shitheads talk you into anything you're uncomfortable with. You don't owe them sweet fuck all.
Click to expand...
I like you, you sound TOUGH. I wish I can be like that
 
Molly1980 said:
I appreciate the feedback. I hate disappointing and fighting and offending. So I fall into a dark place when people get strange with me. I am not a mean person
Click to expand...

Sounds like a bit of Anxiety, attempt holding your breath for 5-10 seconds, then releasing slowly through the nostrils, repeating as many times as necessary. Unless they have your direct location, you're safe and the staff on B2W seem to be fairly on point when it comes to Moderation, so if someone seems to be harassing you it'll get dealt w/ properly.

Balancing "Nice" & "Stern" is a skill, don't beat yourself up on that.

A male who cannot handle rejection, no matter how blunt or polite, is still a Little Boy at heart.
 
VA BBC said:
As everyone else has said, stick to your boundaries. Block or Report them if necessary. Even I have come off the wrong way before understanding the etiquette necessary to not come off "rude" or "pushy".

Alternatively, you could point them to one of the threads on here explaining the process of how this all works for most people/couples/etc. They;ll either get it or not, sometimes folks will choose to be dense over bowing down to Logic & Empathy.

Being careful, especially as a Woman, is a top priority, no one is going to look out for you, how you would look out for yourself at the end of the day, so a good vetting process Is always necessary, ESPECIALLY w/ sexual deviancy. The last part though, it all depends, couples have responded to me simply b/c I wasn't Rude and shared a piece of my identity w/ them as well, it's a 50/50 game really but I know participating on the forum helps a ton too, everyone isn't everyone's cup of tea, no matter how confident they are that they are attractive.
Click to expand...
Is there a communication ediquite on this site?

For instance... when is good time to invite, take thing further, do the nasty? 😂

Seriously that would be a nice blog or post to direct people. It would also allow ladies and couples know how to not waste a bulls tine right? I could use some coaching perhaps so I would definitely appreciate something like that.
 
VA BBC said:
Sounds like a bit of Anxiety, attempt holding your breath for 5-10 seconds, then releasing slowly through the nostrils, repeating as many times as necessary. Unless they have your direct location, you're safe and the staff on B2W seem to be fairly on point when it comes to Moderation, so if someone seems to be harassing you it'll get dealt w/ properly.

Balancing "Nice" & "Stern" is a skill, don't beat yourself up on that.

A male who cannot handle rejection, no matter how blunt or polite, is still a Little Boy at heart.
Click to expand...
YEEESSSS
 
Molly1980 said:
Is there a communication ediquite on this site?

For instance... when is good time to invite, take thing further, do the nasty? 😂

Seriously that would be a nice blog or post to direct people. It would also allow ladies and couples know how to not waste a bulls tine right? I could use some coaching perhaps so I would definitely appreciate something like that.
Click to expand...
The timeline is whatever you're comfortable with.

I've gone anywhere from months to days depending on the situation. There's no right or wrong way to do things, don't feel like you have to rush.

Like @VA BBC said, grown ass men can handle no and they can accommodate reasonable boundaries.
 
Molly1980 said:
Is there a communication ediquite on this site?

For instance... when is good time to invite, take thing further, do the nasty? 😂

Seriously that would be a nice blog or post to direct people. It would also allow ladies and couples know how to not waste a bulls tine right? I could use some coaching perhaps so I would definitely appreciate something like that.
Click to expand...

There's a couple mini guides floating around actually but more so for the "Bulls", I assume b/c of influxes of the same situation you've been going through. A lot of times as guys we think every woman is a flagrant slut princess but that's not the case for most who do not have a repertoire of past conversations, whether through the site, or an external resource (email, kik, snapchat, etc).

I'd say, it all depends on how long you want to Vet & if that Man has been w/ any other B2W Members. A couple of my DM's were literally "You should come see me" in initiation from the Lady, others have been built since the day I made my account here. Check out the "Chat" feature on here as well, if both parties are online its basically an Instant Messenger, and y'all can verify or just chat to weed out the potential chemistry between you all.

At the end of the day, you are solely in control of the situation. We (Bulls) are servicing a need/want, and until its confirmed that the other party is down, there's no expectation of "When" at least for me & the healthy interactions I've seen while lurking around here. Never rush the pleasure when it can come w/ Danger or Consequences outside of your immediate realm of "control", if you catch my drift.

I may take it upon myself and do a thread but I have to make the time so its really detailed.
 
Molly1980 said:
I am not sure if it is proper ediquite or not to be pushy. I feel it is not... I understand why this site exist and clearly everyone is at different level.

I hate rushing into anything. I get so many guys telling me RIGHT AWAY "let's meet". And I feel pressured and I don't like it. That is how bad things happen to women. Its SCARY to just chat online and meet them as FAST AS POSSIBLE.

And when you try to avoid the conversation going into this pressure, they accuse you of being a waste of time, not serious, fake, blah blah blah.

Is it wrong that I am careful? Are we really expected to just MEET UP with every guy who sends us a message? He could have STD's, he could be a psycho, he could be catfishing, WHO KNOWS.

I feel proper ediquite is to wait for the lady or couple invite the bull. Let us make the move when we feel comfortable. Being pushy is CREEPY
Click to expand...

Caution is important.
 
I'm a millennial blackman and a lot of these Zoomers are thinking they can't be preyed upon .
Since 2005 I've heard countless stories of young black men being set up and assaulted by white supremacists.

That's why I'm not shocked about these random hangings occurring across the south.
Recently Orange County, California ... that's why I tell guys carry just in case it turns out its a set up into a lynching.

I definitely understand where your coming from on the aggressive side .
But I think brothers need to see where your coming from .
Single woman , who want sexual fun but there crazies out there that get off physically harming women .


It's the same for us , we want sexual fun but there actual deadly catfish out there that wanna harm us.
We can't pretend not to understand each other concerns .
I 100% understand your concerns and try to accommodate a woman safety requirements but also seek the same .
Quip pro quo treatment.
 
Well I joined an interracial cuckold club with my husband but this is very recent. I dont want to share which one because I feel I can be potentially compromising where I will be and when to EVERYONE on B2W.

But now as I have gone to a couple of events feels more secure. The members know each other and they are most who do STD screening which entitles them to wear a bracelet at the event . So I am kind of leaning towards not deviating out of this club. But there's a potential of missed opportunities of course that I could be disregarding. A lot to consider.

But there should be some way people can vet regardless of where they meet. Would be nice.
 
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Molly1980 said:
I am not sure if it is proper ediquite or not to be pushy. I feel it is not... I understand why this site exist and clearly everyone is at different level.

I hate rushing into anything. I get so many guys telling me RIGHT AWAY "let's meet". And I feel pressured and I don't like it. That is how bad things happen to women. Its SCARY to just chat online and meet them as FAST AS POSSIBLE.

And when you try to avoid the conversation going into this pressure, they accuse you of being a waste of time, not serious, fake, blah blah blah.

Is it wrong that I am careful? Are we really expected to just MEET UP with every guy who sends us a message? He could have STD's, he could be a psycho, he could be catfishing, WHO KNOWS.

I feel proper ediquite is to wait for the lady or couple invite the bull. Let us make the move when we feel comfortable. Being pushy is CREEPY
Click to expand...
Lol there are a lot of new guys to this. More n more my female play partners tell me how guys bring dick vanilla mentalities. A lot of guys r brand new. test em see what they've done on the lifestyle. If they can't share claim they're a Dom count em out. Sign of in experience and weaknesses. Also, don't let a dude bs you. In the lifestyle its all about directness. This bs of ghost disappearing then reappear with a lame excuse like i moved last month but he hasn't contacted you in 30 days call bs. Duce him if he can't be direct. N don't put up with the bs.
 
Richarddeap said:
Lol there are a lot of new guys to this. More n more my female play partners tell me how guys bring dick vanilla mentalities. A lot of guys r brand new. test em see what they've done on the lifestyle. If they can't share claim they're a Dom count em out. Sign of in experience and weaknesses. Also, don't let a dude bs you. In the lifestyle its all about directness. This bs of ghost disappearing then reappear with a lame excuse like i moved last month but he hasn't contacted you in 30 days call bs. Duce him if he can't be direct. N don't put up with the bs.
Click to expand...
Duce? 🤔
 
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