Fair enough, but like you said, it's contextual and in the US I've never heard it in the loving context. I've heard it in the neutral descriptor context and the "why must you date a nergo/ those negros over there" context.I got it from living 35 years in a Spanish speaking country in South America . The word can be used as part of an insult or racial slur but is also used tenderly and in loving nature. I feel her comment intended to point to the fact that for non Americans, words meaning depends way more on context.