i do not understand what the majority wants or is looking for. All i can say is what I am very intrigued with. That is a lifestyle in which i am sexually exclusive with the love of my life who is sexually adventurous with me and other "intramarital" sex partners of her choice. In an ideal relationship of that form I will be physically involved (= being present) in her sexual adventures most of the time yet not necessarily all of the time.
One essential part of all that is an increase of my partners (sexual) pleasure and satisfaction provided by a shariing lifestyle. But that does not include the relevance of penis size (not even the third party's sex TBH).
i was in the swing lifestyle with one of my ex girlfriends for about two years and have personal experiences of a guy with a probably four inch dick who would make her cum within less than a minute. Perhaps because they had clicked on a sexual level and he knew how to use what he had. He was not even extraordinarily girthy. For me it is my Woman's pleasure that transpires into my own pleasure that makes me hot. If a guy with a four inch dick can do that better than another guy with a nine-incher i guess it will be the Woman's choice to be with the one who can create more pleasure. And i definitely prefer her to be with (me first, of course but also) another man who can give her the O's that make her happy. And if that's a four-inch-guy more than a particular nine-inch-guy i'd definitely prefer the four-incher (for her pleasure - and my own, as the one who's watching, taking part or being told about).
i never really understood the crazyness and obsession with all that dick size matters. Well, i understand that there are "size Queens" out there who are built for receiving that extraordinarily huge penis and love the physical stimulation, and some who are more turned on by the visual aspect of a bigger dick. But all in all it is not a contradiction. If a Woman has to rely on the size to be sexually pleased then be it. It is just my personal experience of witnessing men with an average and even under average dick to be able to do the same.