The Future of Cuckoldry and Hotwifing . . . .

[Dblinsey]

A legal framework would institutionally out more, if not all people and ******* it to be more acceptable.

Harold McMilllan . . .

Jeff and Christy,

I can't agree with you more. A legal instrument that would shift open relationships into more of an accepted part of society would be nothing short of ideal in virtually every respect. But, (there's always a Butt at the end, isn't there?) let's look at the reality of the concept.

With mainstream Americans practically banning sex education in school; glorifying violence over relationships (look at most every 'action show' on television and the rating system in the movies) and total refusal to regard sexual interaction in the same light as our European neighbors, I'm convinced it will be well over 100 years to be even considered.

Look how long it took for gays to be accepted. The first mention of it was in the 60s when there was a gay character on one of the shows. Although now it's by and large accepted, it took well over 50 years for people to simply accept it. Even today, there are a number of states that refuse to accept a gay marriage. I'm not looking at the sexual gratification aspects of it. I'm more concerned about the power to express the desires of a loved one desperately in need of medical help - or to exercise a will, or even to collect insurance!

For that matter, look at 50s television shows - married couples had separate beds! REALLY?!?! They couldn't say that Lucille Ball was pregnant on television - she had a 'condition'

And let's not even begin to discuss how long it took interracial relationships to be generally accepted. But how many people had to die along the way?

Americans can and will do anything - except admit that they like (and they do) sex! But to establish a legal framework that would embrace open relationships, placing both the man and woman on equal ground, is and will remain a desired, but very long term goal. Trust me, I wish it were tomorrow, but sadly, it probably won't be!

Donna

 

[Humblecuck63]

@J&C - i completely agree although the issue is how it is still regarded as something that can pretty much end a promising career. When a private, legal, sexual preference can ruin a person's life by threatening their livelihood then i fear it will always be repressed and regarded as 'shameful'.

 

[whiteSAnerd]

Perhaps South Africa is a society more ripe for progress than even the U.S.

Maybe South Africa should look as some corrective legislation - an affirmative action program of sorts - with a special set of laws not only allowing black men rights to date single white women, but to socialize with married white women in a completely open fashion, without fear of retribution of any type. Nothing ungentlemanly, but simply allowing for open approachment, conversation, suggestion and solicitation. This way, nature and culture can take its course and help to correct unnatural imbalances in the society.

Then, in the event of a relationship developing, there could be some judicial review to outline the cuckold relationship and protect the rights of all involved, including the black man.

Mh, could you specify what you mean when you say “affirmative action” in this context? I personally don’t think affirmative action, at least how it’s defined in higher education, should be used as a reparation for something that has happened in the past. In education, it’s designed to counter structural discrimination that exists in the present.

 

[Luvwfbm]

Im not sure about legal stuff about it..its movement is undoubtly forward..everyday..alot wht women go blk..no doubt..

 

[jeff & christy]

Mh, could you specify what you mean when you say “affirmative action” in this context? I personally don’t think affirmative action, at least how it’s defined in higher education, should be used as a reparation for something that has happened in the past. In education, it’s designed to counter structural discrimination that exists in the present.

Perhaps there is "structural discrimination" in the sexuality of white couples and black men and the possibility and probability of them connecting with a better sexual arrangement? Perhaps this needs to be addressed as a society.

 

[Dblinsey]

I think it is, especially in the media. We are seeing an increasing amount of interracial relations in commercials and television shows. So soon, I'm confident, that in a few years, it will be as common as gays and traditional heterosexual relationships

 

[jeff & christy]

I think if it can be established by a community or society, that a married woman is doing without GOOD sex, then it is in the community's or society's best interests to take steps to see that she gets that good sex. If that means a court stepping in and restructuring her marriage, then that would be a good thing for all involved. And, perhaps in those instances, there should be some equal or improved opportunity for high performing men.

 

[jeff & christy]

Its not nice to laugh. I'm serious.

 

[jeff & christy]

Donna, tell them I'm serious.

 

[Dblinsey]

Again, I hear you, but think it's a bridge too far to get the legal system involved.

Besides, not too many women would stand up and say that their husband just isn't cutting it. Also, the husband would be destroyed in the process.

No, while I agree that there are outlets, I think it will be kept between the wife, husband and potential Bull. An activity carried out in relative privacy.

But I will say that given time, three people together, two white and one black, may slip into the 'kind of common' realm, I don't think it would be as the result of a legal decree. Perhaps in 100 years, poly relationships may become accepted, remember, currently there are laws expressly forbidding it - in a legal construct.

 

[Dblinsey]

Donna, tell them I'm serious.

My dear, I have never doubted your seriousness regarding the topic - I just have my reservations regarding the legal aspect.

 

[jeff & christy]

In many states, it is legal to divorce a man because of impotence. Also, you can sue for "loss of consortium" if someone's negligence deprives you of sex.

 

[jeff & christy]

And, the husband won't really be ruined. He will just think so until he comes out the other side. Then, he will have been transformed.

 

[Dblinsey]

Yes, that's true. While this may dissolve the relationship, it doesn't lay the groundwork for a poly situation! The relationship is severed and the woman is now free to seek other mates. But currently, the termination is complete - she no longer has any bond with the man she married. To bridge it in a play to keep the man while being free to take another just isn't in the cards for the foreseeable future.

 

[jeff & christy]

Yes, that's true. While this may dissolve the relationship, it doesn't lay the groundwork for a poly situation! The relationship is severed and the woman is now free to seek other mates. But currently, the termination is complete - she no longer has any bond with the man she married. To bridge it in a play to keep the man while being free to take another just isn't in the cards for the foreseeable future.

A negotiated settlement through arbitration. The husband agrees to stay married and keep most of what he had. he simply forfeits certain of his sexual rights to some agreed upon extent approved by the court.

Just some ideas . . . .

 

[Dblinsey]

And, the husband won't really be ruined. He will just think so until he comes out the other side. Then, he will have been transformed.

That's assuming that he accepts seeing his 'former' wife enjoying a black man as her lover. And think of the status of the relationship. Would he still be a part of her life? Would he still want to be a part of her life? What duties and responsibilities would he have? To put a roof over her head, supporting her as most husbands do, all the while accepting that he's not allowed in her bed?

To be sure, some people in this forum have adopted this lifestyle, but I'm still hung up on the legal ramifications. Would he still be required to support her? If he is accepting, again, like couples are in this forum, great. But what if he isn't? Or what happens when he loses interest if the interracial thing continues? What then?

 

[Dblinsey]

A negotiated settlement through arbitration. The husband agrees to stay married and keep most of what he had. he simply forfeits certain of his sexual rights to some agreed upon extent approved by the court.

Just some ideas . . . .

Ideas are great! Keep expressing them! But this isn't a 'Star Trek' world where money isn't involved. Relationships have a ton of mixed emotions. I love my husband more than life itself, but I can say with complete confidence that we've had some really epic fights - every couple has! I know he loves me, I know I love him, but emotions do come into play.

This may work for some people - like it does with some folks in this forum - but not the vast majority of people in America! For that reason, it will be kept behind closed doors

 

[jeff & christy]

That's assuming that he accepts seeing his 'former' wife enjoying a black man as her lover. And think of the status of the relationship. Would he still be a part of her life? Would he still want to be a part of her life? What duties and responsibilities would he have? To put a roof over her head, supporting her as most husbands do, all the while accepting that he's not allowed in her bed?

To be sure, some people in this forum have adopted this lifestyle, but I'm still hung up on the legal ramifications. Would he still be required to support her? If he is accepting, again, like couples are in this forum, great. But what if he isn't? Or what happens when he loses interest if the interracial thing continues? What then?

He would, of course, have the right to choose. But, he should be reaffirmed to his modified vows and obligations.

Great points!

 

[jeff & christy]

With a system like this, I could have gotten what I have now years earlier and with a lot less aggravation.

 

[Dblinsey]

Respectfully, and I do mean Respectfully disagree with you - at least not in a public, legal construct. In private, like today, something worked out between the husband and wife can and will succeed. But not if the legal system becomes involved. I just don't think there is enough demand for that.