Race Play Doesn't Make You Racist
- Thread starter SuccubusSpades
- Start date
bad voodoo
Male
Yes, yes, 1000x yes. We LOVE the 'racial' in interracial and it CAN be that simple without being the slightest bit racist. My wife sexually PREFERS black skin vs white, and I LOVE that about her. I love knowing that about her. I WANT that interaction to be HIGHLY racial for both of us.
Amen you awesome queen of spades, and humiliator of tiny dick white boys like me...we wirship you and the big fat black dick that you stripped our chance of ever being treated like men or having mamhoid from us...I might add, what I telj the black femakes that dominate me and bust my balls whike I serve their pussy orally, is they can say no wrong amd uts not racist if it's TRUE. So saying you love to hate and crush white boys tiny dicks and worthless balls, and the fact that you and yiur girlfriends recall self described pink balksac killers and crushers isnt racist because we do have pathetic inferior dicks that look like pink clits, and e deserve to have a bksck female strip and embarrass us for having a tiny cult dick and then busting our ballThe topic of taboo kinks and race play in particular, is a difficult conversation to have even in the most progressive of spaces. It evokes such passionate feelings within people that sometimes, that same passion clouds truth and rational judgement.
Shame, stigma, and societal constructs have built inherent biases against anything that isn't missionary position sex for the purpose of procreation.
To me, it is a healthy part of my lifestyle. One that I practice with the utmost consideration for myself and my partners. Having been an active member in this community for so long, coupled with my experience coaching and helping others embrace and enjoy this lifestyle, I have a unique perspective on this kink.
So many men and women have come to me saying the same thing, "Why do I have so much guilt and so much shame attached to my feelings about this kink?" Well, honestly, some of you rightfully should be feeling that way. Harsh, I know, but it's not because of the enjoyment of the kink itself, but because of the inherited baggage attached to it. That baggage can control at your sex life (at best) or your entire way of life (at worst).
To understand the relationship someone has to a taboo kink, you must first understand the person.
This is where many people unfortunately fall short. Now, I'm certainly not here to wag my finger or talk-down at you just because you have some sexual hang-ups that haven't been fully processed yet. (Honestly I estimate this to be WELL OVER over half of the population, so consider yourself normal if this is you, but that's a conversation for another day). I do believe, however, that anyone engaging in kink as a coping mechanism should do some serious self evaluation and possibly seek professional help. No good can come of it, and it will only lead you to create more problematic patterns of self destructive behavior.
It is an enormous conversation that a lot of people need to have with themselves. If there is anything fundamentally stunting your journey towards your sexual truth, it needs to be addressed.
Now, if you're someone who is capable of enjoying your sex life without pangs of shame and guilt from the beginning, you should be able to simply just indulge in this kink without concern - as long as you're using the best standards and practices of kink. Let me explain
Again, to understand the kink, we must understand the person behind the pleasure.
I have been very fortunate in my life to have never been the recipient of sexual trauma. I have had a very healthy relationship with human sexuality my entire life. It is a huge reason why I am such an advocate for playing with the taboo! I know that if I can grow up in a more-or-less typical household that there must be others who have the same wild cravings and desires as me.
For example, my kinks have been weird and dark my entire life. From extreme BDSM, to bloody and gory scenes. It's more than most can even stomach to think about, honestly. But to me, I can appreciate an erotic aspect of it. Hell, some of my turn-ons boil down to themes as simple as "contrast is hot" and "wet things turn me on."
It's impossible to pinpoint how certain things become eroticized in someone's mind. Some psychologists hazard guesses that just about anything, from a favored teacher's nail polish to a scene in an R-rated movie you accidentally caught a part of before you were of age, could've landed and implanted its way into the back of your sex brain, only to be ignited during puberty as the thing that makes your dick hard or your cunt swell. Point is: there's no rhyme or reason to it. What turns you on, turns you on. It's WAY easier to live your life embracing that hard wiring than attempting to run away from it. This understanding should strengthen the "Why am I like this?" gut reaction that is holding you back from one of the most natural urges on earth.
Side Note: I feel morally obliged to mention the whole age play kink. I use my wording very adamantly when I say my belief; "Anything that happens between consenting ADULTS should be their business." The bolded word is incredibly important. If you are someone who is struggling with these specific urges PLEASE seek therapy. Resources exist nationwide for dealing with this and you can go on to live a fulfilling life.
When I indulge in this "taboo" kink it is always with consenting adults who find the same things just as erotic as I do. Every party is treated as if they have the same level of care and respect and we go from there.
If I were to do my best to summarize the overarching umbrella that encompasses most (if not all) of my deepest, most thrilling kinks, it would boil down to two words: power dynamics. The dichotomy of being in total control to being completely powerless is so mouthwatering to me I could spend hours getting lost in the eroticism of the details of every scene.
So, when I first stumbled upon this kink online it clicked for me, instantly. The concept of "the black man" who has been oppressed by "the white man" rising up to take whatever they want, meanwhile turning non-black women into subservient whores for their naturally more massive cocks? Sploosh. Yes please.
Also, call me crazy, but I LOVE a little politics in the bedroom.
"But it's so taboo, and just plain wrong!" Well, so is everything "the white man" has perpetrated against "the black man" for centuries. No, that is not a justification or a statement in defense of how "racism" makes my pussy wet. It is an example of a healthy relationship between the realities of our society and our history, and how I chose to express my feelings about them. I just so happen to be most expressive and emboldened when I am in touch with my sexuality.
I regularly go so far as to help educate non-black men about the realities of this fetish while they're paying for my time. Require readings and assigning tasks that are relevant to black history are part of my responsibility as a Queen of Spades.
This power dynamic has everything I find erotic. I also find men with darker skin more attractive. And if you consider that statement to be prejudiced then try defending the question "are you more of a tits or an ass man?" Read my piece titled "Objectification" if you're still having trouble wrapping your head around it all.
One last thing about sexual partner preference - my opinion doesn't fucking matter. I married for love. If I want to be as superficial as I want to be when it comes to the people I sleep with, then so be it.
I have my own personal lines when it comes to this kink and many other taboo kinks. For example, I'll never use the n-word. Not in my personal life, not in the bedroom, and not even in writing. However, something else that many consider taboo, extreme violence, I'll write about. But I do not welcome into my life or bedroom. Everyone has their own boundaries and it is well within any individual's chosen rights to play out any kink of theirs however they so chose. As always - as long as it's between CONSENTING ADULTS, it is none of my business, and shouldn't be yours either.
So when people ask me about this "troubling subject" I can only be ****** to ask them: “Well, why is it troubling to you?” There is obviously, a lot of work to be done when it comes to how out society embraces sexuality. Who knows... it very likely could get worse before it gets better.
Do your part. Start with yourself. Learn how to shed the shame and enjoy your body. Then, learn how to care less about what is going on in other people's bedrooms. Finally, take pride in the human condition. We're all wild aliens on this groovy space rock and we all get turned on by nonsensical, sometimes gross, sometimes hilarious things. Grow the fuck up and embrace it.
Also, why the fuck is sodomy still illegal in this country? What the god-fearing fuck are those places even doing?
s daily as punishment for being white inferior and babbydick
After thumbing through who gave this post positive reacts, I noticed it was by and large other white people. Because, of course it was.
"Race play doesn't make you racist"
It certainly doesn't make you not racist. I can't possibly be the only person of color absolutely sick of white people telling the rest of us what is, and is not racist, attempting to let the rest of us know when we are allowed to feel racially attacked, or offended, or bothered, and attempting to dictate the terms of racism, which they are only able to dish out, but not able to feel, or be victimized by.
You're white. You don't get to dictate the terms of what is and is not racist/racism, specifically because it can NEVER directly effect you. Stay in your lane.
"Race play doesn't make you racist"
It certainly doesn't make you not racist. I can't possibly be the only person of color absolutely sick of white people telling the rest of us what is, and is not racist, attempting to let the rest of us know when we are allowed to feel racially attacked, or offended, or bothered, and attempting to dictate the terms of racism, which they are only able to dish out, but not able to feel, or be victimized by.
You're white. You don't get to dictate the terms of what is and is not racist/racism, specifically because it can NEVER directly effect you. Stay in your lane.
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Melissa Baker
Female
There is a couple of things that I think should be cleared up here. First - "Race Play" doesn't necessarily have to be the use of the word N*gg*r or Wh*te B*tch. Things like that. I can't imagine having sex with a Black Man and participate myself in such talk. I much prefer scenarios where the Black Man is honourably empowered. That being said I have seen videos where the Black gentleman is encouraging this talk and clearly is enjoying it to orgasm. I don't judge. I accept that's what flips his switches and I leave it up to him to figure out his psychology on this. All this being said It is silly not to also see colour as an attractive trait - particularly on sites like this! My Black ex-bf used to really enjoy my white ethnicity. He would appreciatively comment all the time on my pale skin, my blue eyes or my soft blonde hair. He liked me to wear off the shoulder tops and dresses so he could kiss and nuzzle my neck and shoulders all the while telling me about how beautiful he thought my white skin was. He particularly liked me to wear my sheer white negligee before sex. I'd also put on a little makeup and brush out my blonde hair. During sex he would really work himself up praising my whiteness until he had a very strong orgasm. I would always encourage this talk to please him. After we were together for awhile his talk also began to include his impregnation fantasy. This too I encouraged. This is what I call positive kinky "race play" I suppose. It just doesn't always have to be the other grittier type though.
Shamhat
Female
Sometimes it's obvious that your sex partner finds something especially alluring in your body traits, and other times he's attracted by some aspects related with your group identities (race, ethnicity, social class, professional life...) The latter may respond to cliches and estereotypes.
I often have sex with younger men and most of them didn't see anything special at my age. In some cases, their comments about milfs made it clear that they found the age difference very exciting. Something simillar happens with my whiteness. There are black men who love to emphasize the racial difference through adjectives like 'black cock' or 'white cunt'. Impregnation fantasies are other common fetish in interracial sex that I have never found among my white lovers. Not sure if it's 'race play'.
In any case, I think it is virtually impossible to be valued only by your objective nature. Human reality is dual. Everything is something and means something to someone. Your circumstances will inevitably have some socio-cultural value for your sex partners.
Shamhat
Female
Guilt and sexual fetishes are too often the two sides of the same coin. Something is a fetish because involves the transgression of a great taboo or social norm. Your text tacitly reflects a cognitive dissonance. You obviously find 'race play' alluring but at the same time you need to justify it.
Nobody is entitled to say others how they must live their own lives, but it's impossible not to make judgements about other people's behaviours. Every person establishes value judgements about what he finds valuable, dangerous, useful, etc. The understanding of reality is based on categorization. Actually, your text is full of moral judgements, starting with the quoted statesment.
Wow, indeed, fetishes involve usually more than one meaning. And of course, nobody is entitled to say others how they must live, specially now, in XXI century!!!!
..........."Queen of Spade" is a "racist fantasy" term......When the last time any of you "ninjas" on here been called a "Spade"??? Race play behind closed doors cool. No problems with that. When yall do get the "right black man" to fuck yall, all these "white slang" such ass "QOS, bbc, blackbull etc" get thrown out the door, cause any "black man" in his right mind you deal with gonna correct your ass real quick........You wont refer to it as BBC, you being saying "got dam he got a big dick"When lockdown is over, all yall come to nyc, try them words out over here........Your husband/bf aint gonna help you and the women might get a train ran on her to teach her a lesson....
Basically go a big US city and try out your luck.
Again race play is cool behind close doors, but "none" of you "white people" will have go thru what the fuck we have to go thru on any given day
Watch "Get Out" their is yall "training"
sophitajones
Female
I do think there is a weird balance here. I think raceplay is fine and can be healthy, but I don't know if doing things like statistics and stuff is the best way to go about it either xD. Like wanting to date a black guy is cool and so is loving his dick is also but I think it can be important not to mystify any race.
sophitajones
Female
As a progressive person I think raceplay is complicated but ultimately is another taboo fetish that can be accepted by everyone.The topic of taboo kinks and race play in particular, is a difficult conversation to have even in the most progressive of spaces. It evokes such passionate feelings within people that sometimes, that same passion clouds truth and rational judgement.
Shame, stigma, and societal constructs have built inherent biases against anything that isn't missionary position sex for the purpose of procreation.
To me, it is a healthy part of my lifestyle. One that I practice with the utmost consideration for myself and my partners. Having been an active member in this community for so long, coupled with my experience coaching and helping others embrace and enjoy this lifestyle, I have a unique perspective on this kink.
So many men and women have come to me saying the same thing, "Why do I have so much guilt and so much shame attached to my feelings about this kink?" Well, honestly, some of you rightfully should be feeling that way. Harsh, I know, but it's not because of the enjoyment of the kink itself, but because of the inherited baggage attached to it. That baggage can control at your sex life (at best) or your entire way of life (at worst).
To understand the relationship someone has to a taboo kink, you must first understand the person.
This is where many people unfortunately fall short. Now, I'm certainly not here to wag my finger or talk-down at you just because you have some sexual hang-ups that haven't been fully processed yet. (Honestly I estimate this to be WELL OVER over half of the population, so consider yourself normal if this is you, but that's a conversation for another day). I do believe, however, that anyone engaging in kink as a coping mechanism should do some serious self evaluation and possibly seek professional help. No good can come of it, and it will only lead you to create more problematic patterns of self destructive behavior.
It is an enormous conversation that a lot of people need to have with themselves. If there is anything fundamentally stunting your journey towards your sexual truth, it needs to be addressed.
Now, if you're someone who is capable of enjoying your sex life without pangs of shame and guilt from the beginning, you should be able to simply just indulge in this kink without concern - as long as you're using the best standards and practices of kink. Let me explain
Again, to understand the kink, we must understand the person behind the pleasure.
I have been very fortunate in my life to have never been the recipient of sexual trauma. I have had a very healthy relationship with human sexuality my entire life. It is a huge reason why I am such an advocate for playing with the taboo! I know that if I can grow up in a more-or-less typical household that there must be others who have the same wild cravings and desires as me.
For example, my kinks have been weird and dark my entire life. From extreme BDSM, to bloody and gory scenes. It's more than most can even stomach to think about, honestly. But to me, I can appreciate an erotic aspect of it. Hell, some of my turn-ons boil down to themes as simple as "contrast is hot" and "wet things turn me on."
It's impossible to pinpoint how certain things become eroticized in someone's mind. Some psychologists hazard guesses that just about anything, from a favored teacher's nail polish to a scene in an R-rated movie you accidentally caught a part of before you were of age, could've landed and implanted its way into the back of your sex brain, only to be ignited during puberty as the thing that makes your dick hard or your cunt swell. Point is: there's no rhyme or reason to it. What turns you on, turns you on. It's WAY easier to live your life embracing that hard wiring than attempting to run away from it. This understanding should strengthen the "Why am I like this?" gut reaction that is holding you back from one of the most natural urges on earth.
Side Note: I feel morally obliged to mention the whole age play kink. I use my wording very adamantly when I say my belief; "Anything that happens between consenting ADULTS should be their business." The bolded word is incredibly important. If you are someone who is struggling with these specific urges PLEASE seek therapy. Resources exist nationwide for dealing with this and you can go on to live a fulfilling life.
When I indulge in this "taboo" kink it is always with consenting adults who find the same things just as erotic as I do. Every party is treated as if they have the same level of care and respect and we go from there.
If I were to do my best to summarize the overarching umbrella that encompasses most (if not all) of my deepest, most thrilling kinks, it would boil down to two words: power dynamics. The dichotomy of being in total control to being completely powerless is so mouthwatering to me I could spend hours getting lost in the eroticism of the details of every scene.
So, when I first stumbled upon this kink online it clicked for me, instantly. The concept of "the black man" who has been oppressed by "the white man" rising up to take whatever they want, meanwhile turning non-black women into subservient whores for their naturally more massive cocks? Sploosh. Yes please.
Also, call me crazy, but I LOVE a little politics in the bedroom.
"But it's so taboo, and just plain wrong!" Well, so is everything "the white man" has perpetrated against "the black man" for centuries. No, that is not a justification or a statement in defense of how "racism" makes my pussy wet. It is an example of a healthy relationship between the realities of our society and our history, and how I chose to express my feelings about them. I just so happen to be most expressive and emboldened when I am in touch with my sexuality.
I regularly go so far as to help educate non-black men about the realities of this fetish while they're paying for my time. Require readings and assigning tasks that are relevant to black history are part of my responsibility as a Queen of Spades.
This power dynamic has everything I find erotic. I also find men with darker skin more attractive. And if you consider that statement to be prejudiced then try defending the question "are you more of a tits or an ass man?" Read my piece titled "Objectification" if you're still having trouble wrapping your head around it all.
One last thing about sexual partner preference - my opinion doesn't fucking matter. I married for love. If I want to be as superficial as I want to be when it comes to the people I sleep with, then so be it.
I have my own personal lines when it comes to this kink and many other taboo kinks. For example, I'll never use the n-word. Not in my personal life, not in the bedroom, and not even in writing. However, something else that many consider taboo, extreme violence, I'll write about. But I do not welcome into my life or bedroom. Everyone has their own boundaries and it is well within any individual's chosen rights to play out any kink of theirs however they so chose. As always - as long as it's between CONSENTING ADULTS, it is none of my business, and shouldn't be yours either.
So when people ask me about this "troubling subject" I can only be ****** to ask them: “Well, why is it troubling to you?” There is obviously, a lot of work to be done when it comes to how out society embraces sexuality. Who knows... it very likely could get worse before it gets better.
Do your part. Start with yourself. Learn how to shed the shame and enjoy your body. Then, learn how to care less about what is going on in other people's bedrooms. Finally, take pride in the human condition. We're all wild aliens on this groovy space rock and we all get turned on by nonsensical, sometimes gross, sometimes hilarious things. Grow the fuck up and embrace it.
Also, why the fuck is sodomy still illegal in this country? What the god-fearing fuck are those places even doing?
I do think it is innately racist, but I also think it doesn't mean you defiantly are racist.
Like all parts of BDSM it all about consent and if both parties are consenting to it then it is fine.
It can be a massive turn on at times for people. I know even as a progressive person it can be extra fun because of the danger it poses and how society ostracizes it. But I also think it important not to use it as a excuse to be racist to others or say racism has lost all meaning. I think those can be the dangers of raceplay if taken too far by the wrong individuals.
But if used by responsible folk it should simply be used as a private kink that we don't use to hurt minority groups.
I do think it was dumb to get upset at Doja Cat for being into raceplay , but it can look bad on the black community when people find stuff like that out. If only we lived in a perfect world were a person could be into a kink that got accidently out and people just not care, but society makes such a big deal about so many weird kinks and it stupid.
We should talk
A
abnranger67
Guest
I agree,
I agree, in fact, I encourage them to let loose. I enjoy making her say how much she loves my niggah dick.
View media item 427144
View media item 412785
I enjoy having my white married submissive call my BBC a Big N i g g e r Cock. It turns Me on knowing a white man's wife "submit" to Me, so it's definitely racial. It's almost like getting the white man back for 100s of slavery years.
View media item 412785
I enjoy having my white married submissive call my BBC a Big N i g g e r Cock. It turns Me on knowing a white man's wife "submit" to Me, so it's definitely racial. It's almost like getting the white man back for 100s of slavery years.
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A
abnranger67
Guest
No matter what, it all comes down to personal opinion. What I or others may see as not being racial/racist, others may. Honestly, I don't get caught up in the whole racial mumbo jumbo at that moment. I just enjoy the moment, and whatever I feel to include to enhance the mood/moment that is what I go with. If that means making her say she loves my niggah dick (and trust me there is hesitation on her part), but that is the turn-on for me, to get her to submit and say it. Even in actual role play, it is exactly what it is, role play. I highly doubt that if someone is truly racist, they would want anything to do with the other race, unless they do it for vengeance. Which in my case, would make no sense unless it was me being racist, and I am taking it out on her pussy, which I am not. I don't see the sense or logic of how racism can be in any kind of IR situation even if it just for sex.
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YES.
Alpha dom hetero kinky husband here - the taboo is appealing, but the "race-play" that arouses me is strictly about MRS Blonde PAWG being dominated/trained/shared to demand her tiny blonde white pussy get stretched not fetishizing black dom men I invite.
Just me, but the roleplay is for her not bbc friends, if that makes sense.
Schoolgirl e.g. not (insert stereotype here)
No, that doesn’t make sense to me. Not unless you’re watching her with all types of men. If you’re doing it ONLY with black men, then playing out your fantasies doesn’t happen without those black men involved. Which means they’re just as much a part of it as she is. It doesn’t happen without those black men, which means you are fetishizing black men even though you say you aren’t. I’m not trying to be critical. After all, I like some race play. I’m just trying to keep it 100% real.
Fair enough, and always come with the real.
There is a specific fetish here, you are right even if the focus is 100% on her.
The complexion contrast, her wild bbc fiend past, being extremely anti racist, the taboo, the size, the cultural differences, lots of psychology play in.
Even with her being the only roleplay in the script, honestly.
She (early on) agreed to getting shared with a native man by me, but I said no. That was a mistake, of course.
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