First, it's completely up to those in the room about using racially-based language. It's going to offend some and be a huge turn on to others so get it out in the open and straight before the fucking begins. As to whether a person is a racist for saying certain things, I'm sorry but - it depends. And if the person is in fact a racist and that offends you, my question would be: why the hell are you still in the room together?
My bottom line: when we're behind closed doors and in the heat of passion or building up to it, I can't think of anything at the moment that's off limits. If you know me or have read my "About" profile, you know my mantra is "if it feels good, do it!" Maximize whatever turns you on. The context here - for me, at least - is having sex and having sex because we love having sex, and in particular, interracial sex. Making sex great is the whole idea. Yes, race play turns me on in that context. But if a woman is adamant about not going there, then cool. Don't want to bring her down and diminish the sex for her or me. Why does it turn me on? I don't know 100% but it seems plausible to me that it touches on one of the biggest taboos in interracial sex and doing what is "wrong" can be a huge turn on. I also believe that race is ALWAYS front and center in interracial sex - DUH!! I embrace it.
Now, if we're talking about any other context - in public or private - and you want to get racial, I may want to slap the holy ******* out you and mean it. Context, people...context
Let's get our freak on...