If your wife falls in love with the bull
@SanDiegoSissy: It looks like the idea of your partner falling in love with another man is only your own fantasy at this point and not your partner's. If that's what you really want you should talk with her about it and see if she can even imagine something like that. Having a "lifelong affair" or FWB relationship on the side is actually something essentially different than going poly. The latter, if it's meant to work, can only be possible if the people involved (= all three of you) understand such a complex lifestyle and want to have that 
. It also means that all three of you need to have established a strong bond with each other.
The questions that ImO need to be answered are:
1. Do you really want that sort of relationship construction?
2. Does your partner want that as well?
3. Do all of you (including the third partner) click well with each other?
4. Does the third partner want to be that part of your life?
You say that right now you are still in the process of finding "the third". ImO that means you better discuss and answer questions 1. and 2. above beforehand because those answers of yours define the qualities of the additional man you are looking for. An ad you put out for a potential polyamorous partner or for a "bull"/FWB won't read the same.
. It also means that all three of you need to have established a strong bond with each other.The questions that ImO need to be answered are:
1. Do you really want that sort of relationship construction?
2. Does your partner want that as well?
3. Do all of you (including the third partner) click well with each other?
4. Does the third partner want to be that part of your life?
You say that right now you are still in the process of finding "the third". ImO that means you better discuss and answer questions 1. and 2. above beforehand because those answers of yours define the qualities of the additional man you are looking for. An ad you put out for a potential polyamorous partner or for a "bull"/FWB won't read the same.
does she tell you its his shirt? or do you presume it is ?
You just described a weak and unhealthy relationship
Sounds pretty much inlove
.
how do you see things ? What would be the good relationship according to you ?
No. i didn't describe any relationship in that post. Read again.
Honestly i can understand that you are proud of your own relationship that works for you. However there are other relationships out there that may be very different to your own but actually work for those people in their relationships. It's not one fits all.
Pretty sure it's his, I've seen him wearing it before and can't really imagine her wearing anybody else's
She is, she would leave me for him if he wanted to get seriousSounds pretty much inlove
so it s like havingvhim withb you two in bed even when he s not here
I wouldn't say it's love, but surely some level of infatuation. My wife had this "black bull" who as in your example slowly replaced me in bed. Or more than replaced. Both went wild with each other in ways she never went with me. But I think she consciously balanced pretty well on a tight rope between me and him, even throughout her pregnancy (my k id). Sex in our marriage didn't stop either - it just took a different shape and I feel she confided in me more than other wives with confessed lovers would. Between her lover and me, however, the relation was most of the time quite tense, especially because he liked to push boundaries in terms of things agreed and humiliation. She always negotiated between us and gladly accepted the changes he pushed for. He was jealous for any other black guy getting access to her and wanted her to break up with a guy we met after her pregnancy.
Long story short, when we returned from holidays abroad, we found that he had moved on with another lady or couple. My wife was angry. One day she followed him and made a scene threatening him she would tell his wife about his games. Seeing her reaction I asked about her real motives. She said she had a thing for him and is still obsessed with this guy until now.
My years of experience with people saying that what you described work says they don’t work and are unhealthy
That’s really up to the individual but poly relationships rarely work long term
SanDiegoSissy
Couple
Thanks for your response. We agree that communication is the key to making any of this work, whether it's long term or short term. I can gladly admit that I let me imagination run wild and too often think with my little head instead of my big head, lol.@SanDiegoSissy: It looks like the idea of your partner falling in love with another man is only your own fantasy at this point and not your partner's. If that's what you really want you should talk with her about it and see if she can even imagine something like that. Having a "lifelong affair" or FWB relationship on the side is actually something essentially different than going poly. The latter, if it's meant to work, can only be possible if the people involved (= all three of you) understand such a complex lifestyle and want to have that
The questions that ImO need to be answered are:
1. Do you really want that sort of relationship construction?
2. Does your partner want that as well?
3. Do all of you (including the third partner) click well with each other?
4. Does the third partner want to be that part of your life?
You say that right now you are still in the process of finding "the third". ImO that means you better discuss and answer questions 1. and 2. above beforehand because those answers of yours define the qualities of the additional man you are looking for. An ad you put out for a potential polyamorous partner or for a "bull"/FWB won't read the same.
As to your 4 questions.
1. My wife is the one that brought up the term "life long affair". I have since asked her if that is really something she would like and she has confirmed that a few times. I think that could work for us but we are a long way from that reality at this point.
2. Yes, she brought it up.
3. The third partner was in a relationship with a hotwife for three years. The couple moved away and he would like to experience this again.
4. We are still very early in this, but we have discussed past experiences that might provide insight into what to expect going forward.
I will follow up and provide a copy of the profile she created.
Like any other type of relationship as well. But some work just great!
That's all fine but...
What kind of relationship is your wife expecting or wishing for (with the other guy)?
(A) "Just sex" with a regular on the side
(which means she needs to be enabled to separate lust from love easily and be a consistent person in order to make it work)
or
(B) A relationship based on love with two men at the same time (= two relationships)
(which means all of you need to be enabled to... - i'm not going to write down that novel here
).- Those are two completely different things.
And which could you cope with?
SanDiegoSissy
Couple
I don’t think it’s an either or situation at this point.That's all fine but...
What kind of relationship is your wife expecting or wishing for (with the other guy)?
(A) "Just sex" with a regular on the side
(which means she needs to be enabled to separate lust from love easily and be a consistent person in order to make it work)
or
(B) A relationship based on love with two men at the same time (= two relationships)
(which means all of you need to be enabled to... - i'm not going to write down that novel here
- Those are two completely different things.
And which could you cope with?
She wants an emotional connection. So it’s more than just sex but it’s not a situation that she would be in love with two men either.
We have a meet and greet set up for this Friday. Everything feels in flux but we are all communicating so it will be interesting to see how the next few days play out.
Great caption - EXACTLY!!!!
I think that’s a good way to describe it - infatuation, which in many ways looks and feels like love, attachment, and elements of addiction
That’s what happen when orgasms give off ******* like dopamine and bonding chemicals to another person…..boundtohappen
I dont think falling in love can be planned@SanDiegoSissy: It looks like the idea of your partner falling in love with another man is only your own fantasy at this point and not your partner's. If that's what you really want you should talk with her about it and see if she can even imagine something like that. Having a "lifelong affair" or FWB relationship on the side is actually something essentially different than going poly. The latter, if it's meant to work, can only be possible if the people involved (= all three of you) understand such a complex lifestyle and want to have that
The questions that ImO need to be answered are:
1. Do you really want that sort of relationship construction?
2. Does your partner want that as well?
3. Do all of you (including the third partner) click well with each other?
4. Does the third partner want to be that part of your life?
You say that right now you are still in the process of finding "the third". ImO that means you better discuss and answer questions 1. and 2. above beforehand because those answers of yours define the qualities of the additional man you are looking for. An ad you put out for a potential polyamorous partner or for a "bull"/FWB won't read the same.
It hapens Or not
