Our regrets in life aren't what we did, but what we didn't do. When a window of opportunity appears, do not ever regret following your instincts. Your urges are there for a good reason and pulling down the ethics shade ignoring them, does not mean you're honouring your marital vows, but that you're lying to yourself, by not accepting you're a non-monogamous, sexual-adventurous creature.
There are probably many in here that are against cheating and rightfully so, but they tent to forget that for couples outside the LS bubble, where sexual exploration is limited and barely involves another person, cheating is a common way out of a couple's sexual monotony/misery.
If sex became painfully dull over the years and circumstances led you fall in love with the ‘provider’ type of guy, someone who makes you laugh, respects you, makes you emotionally secured, but lacks the "big dick energy" that typically bad boys have, resisting the BBC temptation and banning yourself from mind-blowing orgasms is not considered a viable option, let alone healthy.
I'm sure you're aware of the significant risks the infidelity path comes with apart its ultimate thrills. As a man who've been cheated multiple times in the past, I came to the conclusion that we're only humans and we need to accept life with all its challenges, including the consequences of our actions. If you husband has strong conservative believes, big ego, possessive attitude and he's not acknowledging the liberal over-sexual nature of the woman he has on his side, then communicating your deep sexual needs feels pointless. In fact, getting your white ass fixed on casual BBC encounters a couple of times per year, is probably what you need to keep you going on a healthy state of mind.
If the turn of events help him eventually to face the music, there is no doubt you'll break his heart, but hopefully he'll be smart enough to embrace his weakness and overcome his betrayal emotions, adopting a forgiving, more open-minded viewpoint about marriage. It's a rocky road that some of us have taken to be convinced that FLR relationships is the rollercoaster of true happiness!