The first BM I played with was 12 inches. He knew how to handle such a luxury piece of equipment and engaged in extensive foreplay before proceeding to penetration. He let me control how much and how fast and I was amazed when I bottomed out and was sitting on him with his cock buried in me...and I DO mean buried. The only other large BCs I've had were 11 inches and 13. The 13 incher was wielded by another "swordsman" who knew how to use his equipment; however, the only one of those three who left me sore inside was the 11 incher. He just filled me to the hilt, his girth was huge and playing with him was always a vigorous activity. All of that being said, the best overall partner with whom I orgasmed almost every time we met for play time was only about 8 inches long but, oh my, did he know how to play my body like the fine instrument it is! I felt like a Stradivarius. The thing for me is more about their knowing how to use what they have to bring me to orgasm. Honestly, if it's only 4 inches long, if he has a tongue, imagination, ability and confidence AND he gets me to orgasm consistently, I'm going to be happy. YMMV.