Discussion Question: White BBW and Black Men

[bm_from_southjersey]

I had been meaning to put this question out there, don't know why I waited so long but here it is:

Why are some black men attracted to white bbw and/or thick white women, and vice versa?

Now, notice I didn't use the word "ALL" or try to insinuate in any way that this is the norm. I'm just hoping to hear intelligent answers from other members and to spark some interesting and intelligent debate.

If all you're going to contribute to the thread is fantasy bull ******* and pseudo-intellectual delusions or name calling, please don't bother responding.

 

[California's #1 BBC]

I had been meaning to put this question out there, don't know why I waited so long but here it is:

Why are some black men attracted to white bbw and/or thick white women, and vice versa?

Now, notice I didn't use the word "ALL" or try to insinuate in any way that this is the norm. I'm just hoping to hear intelligent answers from other members and to spark some interesting and intelligent debate.

If all you're going to contribute to the thread is fantasy bull ******* and pseudo-intellectual delusions or name calling, please don't bother responding.

I cant speak for every black male but for me personally i find white bbw attractive because they tend to know how to carry themselves with their weight. Yea they may be big but they are far from sloppy they make it work. I love a white bbw with confidence thats the sexiest thing about it. They know they are big and dont care. A lot of white bbw tend to have less limits in the bedroom to and from my experience they worship the bbc like no other can.

 

[CindyLou]

You asked for vica versa, so I'm going to assume you mean why are bbw/thick white women attracted to black men. If not, please feel free to correct my assumption...

Of course, I cannot speak for all white women, but as a thick white woman I'm speaking on behalf of myself because I am powerfully attracted to mature, tall, educated, highly intelligent, hopefully hung, black men. The primary attraction for me is simply that there is something unutterably sexy to me about a man - when society in general tries to marginalize and nullify his existence based on nothing more than skin pigmentation - who has the presence of being to live his life in such a manner that his ACTIONS say, "Fuck you, you're not going to define me, nor will I allow you to keep me poor and ignorant, or rob me of my masculinity."

Another thing that turns me on is the contrast between black and white. There is something profoundly erotic about being on my knees taking my lover's cock from behind, and looking back to see his big black hands grip and squeeze my round white ass that makes me absolutely WILD!!! I think it is the play of reciprocal energies that produce that electricity within me. Positive and negative. Black and white. Masculine and feminine. As I've said before, it's the ultimate Yin and Yang!

To me the ultimate act of self-esteem and self-love is to NEVER let a man touch me who does not fully and deeply appreciate every aspect of my being, whether it's my tits, my ass, or my mind. So, another reason is because white men, who typically find me intimidating as hell anyway, will ignore my mind altogether and make sure to let me know okay with them that I have a big ass, as if they're granting me permission to exist, or expecting some kind of humanitarian award for lowering their standards to be with me, whereas the black men who've been attracted to me LOVE and appreciate my body and my mind "AS IS"!

It's also interesting to note that since I started dating black men exclusively, I have been told by countless white men that, "No decent white man will want you if you date black men." To which I inform them, "Well, that's a win/win because any man who is so ignorant and intolerant in his thinking, and insecure in his being, that that actually matters to him I wouldn't want anyway!"

 

[bm_from_southjersey]

You asked for vica versa, so I'm going to assume you mean why are bbw/thick white women attracted to black men. If not, please feel free to correct my assumption...

Of course, I cannot speak for all white women, but as a thick white woman I'm speaking on behalf of myself becuase I am powerful attracted to mature, tall, educated, highly intelligent, hopefully hung, black men. The primary attraction for me is simply that there is something unutterably sexy to me about a man - when society in general tries to marginalize and nullify his existence based on nothing more than skin pigmentation - who has the presence of being to live his life in such a manner that his ACTIONS say, "Fuck you, you're not going to define me, nor will I allow you to keep me poor and ignorant, or rob me of my masculinity."

Another thing that turns me on is the contrast between black and white. There is something profoundly erotic about being on my knees taking my lover's cock from behind, and looking back to see his big black hands grip and squeeze my round white ass that makes me absolutely WILD!!! I think it is the play of reciprocal energies that produce that electricity within me. Positive and negative. Black and white. Masculine and feminine. As I've said before, it's the ultimate Yin and Yang!

To me the ultimate act of self-esteem and self-love is to NEVER let a man touch me who does not fully and deeply appreciate every aspect of my being, whether it's my tits, my ass, or my mind. So,another reason is because white man, who typically find me intimidating as hell anyway, will ignore my mind altogether and make sure to let me know okay with them that I have a big ass, as if they're granting me permission to exist, or expecting some kind of humanitarian award for lowering their standards to be with me, whereas the black men who've been attracted to me LOVE and appreciate my body and my mind "AS IS"!

It's also interesting to note that since I started dating black men exclusively, I have been told by countless white men that, "No decent white man will want you if you date black men." To which I inform them, "Well, that's a win/win because any man who is so ignorant and intolerant in his thinking, and insecure in his being, that that actually matters to him I wouldn't want anyway!"

You assumed correctly, and thanks for the female perspective.

 

[California's #1 BBC]

You asked for vica versa, so I'm going to assume you mean why are bbw/thick white women attracted to black men. If not, please feel free to correct my assumption...

Of course, I cannot speak for all white women, but as a thick white woman I'm speaking on behalf of myself becuase I am powerful attracted to mature, tall, educated, highly intelligent, hopefully hung, black men. The primary attraction for me is simply that there is something unutterably sexy to me about a man - when society in general tries to marginalize and nullify his existence based on nothing more than skin pigmentation - who has the presence of being to live his life in such a manner that his ACTIONS say, "Fuck you, you're not going to define me, nor will I allow you to keep me poor and ignorant, or rob me of my masculinity."

Another thing that turns me on is the contrast between black and white. There is something profoundly erotic about being on my knees taking my lover's cock from behind, and looking back to see his big black hands grip and squeeze my round white ass that makes me absolutely WILD!!! I think it is the play of reciprocal energies that produce that electricity within me. Positive and negative. Black and white. Masculine and feminine. As I've said before, it's the ultimate Yin and Yang!

To me the ultimate act of self-esteem and self-love is to NEVER let a man touch me who does not fully and deeply appreciate every aspect of my being, whether it's my tits, my ass, or my mind. So,another reason is because white man, who typically find me intimidating as hell anyway, will ignore my mind altogether and make sure to let me know okay with them that I have a big ass, as if they're granting me permission to exist, or expecting some kind of humanitarian award for lowering their standards to be with me, whereas the black men who've been attracted to me LOVE and appreciate my body and my mind "AS IS"!

It's also interesting to note that since I started dating black men exclusively, I have been told by countless white men that, "No decent white man will want you if you date black men." To which I inform them, "Well, that's a win/win because any man who is so ignorant and intolerant in his thinking, and insecure in his being, that that actually matters to him I wouldn't want anyway!"

Well said!

 

[CindyLou]

I cant speak for every black male but for me personally i find white bbw attractive because they tend to know how to carry themselves with their weight. Yea they may be big but they are far from sloppy they make it work. I love a white bbw with confidence thats the sexiest thing about it. They know they are big and dont care. A lot of white bbw tend to have less limits in the bedroom to and from my experience they worship the bbc like no other can.

It's not that we know we're big and don't care, it's that we know we're big and there's nothing wrong with that. Even though society tells us we're not acceptable, or that we fall short of some illusive ideal that doesn't actually exist anyway, we've dug deep within ourselves to find and define our Beauty for ourselves, and no longer look to sources outside of ourselves for validation. At least, that is the case for me, and many other bbw/thick women I know with healthy self-esteem.

And it is precisely because we're not looking for validation from someone else that we have the confidence that we are Beautiful Beings, thus we're free to enjoy sex without restriction/limits that other's, whose opinions don't matter anyway, would impose on us!! ;-)

 

[Mariposa blanca]

But it's hard to have that self-esteem when it's constantly being pounded into your head that you're fat and ugly.

 

[bm_from_southjersey]

But it's hard to have that self-esteem when it'sI pconstantly being pounded into your head that you're fat and ugly.

I understand that, and it certainly is a huge psychological obstacle to climb. But I think it is also important to put these criticisms in their proper perspective: whom are they coming from, does that person's opinion really matter, do the important people in your life feel this way, do the people who know the real you feel this way?

I have said before, and I firmly believe it, that fat is the last socially acceptable prejudice in our society. Men and women who are heavier that can maintain their self esteem, live their lives to the fullest and not give in to the thin obsession just because that's what society deems to be attractive are very strong people.

 

[Mister Bangs]

I love women of all sizes, but i especially have a fondness for sexy bbw's. i just see bigger women as powerful. from my experience the big girls have been a little more kinky as well as open minded. I love the feeling of a big girl riding me its indescribably satiating. i love smothering and face sitting as well and no one does it like a big girl.

Outside of the bedroom beauty is beauty, period. how much you weigh doesn't matter. At least thats how it is to me. but when i see a fine ass big girl i get rock immediately

 

[Curious Couple 4 BBC]

One aspect for me was that fact that as "Daddy's little girl" black men were off limits so this made me all the more curious and eager.. As a woman you always here how big black men are ect.. After my first time I was hooked..I like all men just prefer black

 

[GenS]

Not trying to spark a big debate but respectfully from what I have seen and MY experiences it seems that some Caucasian guys that tend to be more fit or slim for lack of better terms are not into Caucasian bbws. In return it's looks to be the bbws goes for someone who will appreciate them.

From once again MY experiences it seems some (more than less) African American males tend to be a lot more "flexible" as far as Caucasian curvy
Women or bbws go.

In my neck of the woods it seems white bbws get
More play from brothers than they do white guys... Once again respectfully I
Am speaking from MY experiences not trying to put everyone in this boat just speaking from what I have seen/ experienced....

 

[bm_from_southjersey]

Not trying to spark a big debate but respectfully from what I have seen and MY experiences it seems that some Caucasian guys that tend to be more fit or slim for lack of better terms are not into Caucasian bbws. In return it's looks to be the bbws goes for someone who will appreciate them.

From once again MY experiences it seems some (more than less) African American males tend to be a lot more "flexible" as far as Caucasian curvy
Women or bbws go.

In my neck of the woods it seems white bbws get
More play from brothers than they do white guys... Once again respectfully I
Am speaking from MY experiences not trying to put everyone in this boat just speaking from what I have seen/ experienced....

Quite the contrary, I think that was a good response that contributes to the discussion.

 

[GenS]

Quite the contrary, I think that was a good response that contributes to the discussion.

Thanks I just want to tread light cause I know sometimes it can easily get heated in here.

 

[bm_from_southjersey]

Thanks I just want to tread light cause I know sometimes it can easily get heated in here.

True, but you worded it intelligently and weren't trying to promote some "new world order".

 

[Easy-Going Cali 8]

I don't really have a lot of experience, but for me I've found that a lot of the thick girls I've been around have been better personality wise, not all but more often than not. Now I don't mean they were smarter or anything necessarily ( it was sometimes the case), I just got along better with them. Sometimes the more fit girls had some personality flaws that I couldn't agree with (some thick girls too). On the physical side, I just am not really attracted to a girl who is too thin, which I would decide on a case by case basis what qualified ( I try to give people a chance cause I haven't always gotten one). I also agree with CindyLou that there's something about the juxtaposition of black and white that really draws interest (the same as juxtaposition in art does). Not to mention that I'm an ass man and no one can deny that bbw's have some of the best ass around. You'd be hard-pressed to find a big bubble on a girl who weighs a buck ten or somewhere around there (though not to say you won't find a nice ass on her).

 

[bm_from_southjersey]

Thanks for the all the replies so far...

I want to continue this discussion, and I want to explore another dimension of the original question:

I've heard from a few thick white women/white bbw that the reason they are/were drawn to black men is because they never were really considered attractive by white guys, and that they tended to get more attention from black guys. Of course, this isn't universal, as there are many white men who appreciate larger women, and there are black men prefer women that are slender or height/weight proportionate. I wanted to know if any women here have had similar experience.

 

[CindyLou]

Thanks for the all the replies so far...

I want to continue this discussion, and I want to explore another dimension of the original question:

I've heard from a few thick white women/white bbw that the reason they are/were drawn to black men is because they never were really considered attractive by white guys, and that they tended to get more attention from black guys. Of course, this isn't universal, as there are many white men who appreciate larger women, and there are black men prefer women that are slender or height/weight proportionate. I wanted to know if any women here have had similar experience.

It's not so much that no white men don't find me attractive, because they do, but they are much less vocal, and/or obvious about it than black men are. And I've never met a white man who is openly appreciative of a thick, juicy, round woman. Never! And white men always make it a point to let me know, in a hushed whisper so nobody overhears them, that they're okay with me being...ahem...bigger. Such a thought wouldn't occur to the black men who've asked me out because if they've made the first move (I very rarely make the first move) they are obviously interested without need for justification or approval that white men feel they must have.

I think the primary reason for that is because even if a white man is attracted to a larger woman, he is likely to be shamed by his friends for doing so, and will repress his natural attraction to fit in with his peer group. In white society being fat is perhaps more shameful than being a ******* addict, or criminal. Many white men would leave their women if they got too large. Many white women seriously fear being fat, and would rather be cruel, or vindictive bitches bent on starving themselves, than be fat, compassionate and kind. The message is: if you are fat, it is your own damn fault because if only you had the will-power to starve yourself you wouldn't be fat!

People can be so cruel. It's tragic.

 

[BigBlackBull76]

Well BM, to add onto this. I have grown up and intermingled around in some very diverse multicultural circles and I happen to have alot of male friends who happen to be white. What I found interesting in alot of the conversations that I have had with many of them (again not all) is that they prefer woman with flat pancake asses. I used to kid and tease one of my white guy friends about the comment endlessly and he would just say to me flat-out (no pun intended) with a serious non-joking way that he did not want a woman with a big ass, it had to be flat. He liked big breasts but no big ass. I said come-on, and I would get him some pictures of some fine PAWGs and he would say eeww-yuck.

So it led me to believe that somewhat as others have stated already, the BBW girls are not getting love from the white guys, but us brothers, we love curves, hips, and ass. So we will be all over that and thus the big boned woman love us brothas back in return for accepting them as they are. ******* - ive had some bad curvy white broads who turned out to be some of the best lovers I ever had the pleasure of being with so the guys who pass-up on it are the ones missing out. Ones I especially love are like as follows;

 

[Mister Bangs]

omg who's the 1 on the left?

 

[bm_from_southjersey]

It's not so much that no white men don't find me attractive, because they do, but they are much less vocal, and/or obvious about it than black men are. And I've never met a white man who is openly appreciative of a thick, juicy, round woman. Never! And white men always make it a point to let me know, in a hushed whisper so nobody overhears them, that they're okay with me being...ahem...bigger. Such a thought wouldn't occur to the black men who've asked me out because if they've made the first move (I very rarely make the first move) they are obviously interested without need for justification or approval that white men feel they must have.

I think the primary reason for that is because even if a white man is attracted to a larger woman, he is likely to be shamed by his friends for doing so, and will repress his natural attraction to fit in with his peer group. In white society being fat is perhaps more shameful than being a ******* addict, or criminal. Many white men would leave their women if they got too large. Many white women seriously fear being fat, and would rather be cruel, or vindictive bitches bent on starving themselves, than be fat, compassionate and kind. The message is: if you are fat, it is your own damn fault because if only you had the will-power to starve yourself you wouldn't be fat!

People can be so cruel. It's tragic.

Thank you CindyLou. I'd like to
add my two cents to some of what you said. Again, these are just my observations and opinions:

1) I think that being fat/thick/zaftig/bbw carries little or no stigma in the black community, which is diametrically opposed to the what it is like in many segments of the white community. Therefore, a white male would be more likely to be conditioned from an early age to see fat as being bad, while a black male would be more likely to see fat as being benign or at the very least not out of the ordinary.

2) I've wondered about men who make fun of women because they are fat. Given that the average American woman is a Size 14 (?), which isn't exactly Twiggy, that means that many of the men who make fun of bigger women will likely have a a woman in their life (mom, sisters, aunts, grandmother, wife, *******) who is bigger? If they make fun of fat women, what do they think of the fat women in their lives? Would they take kindly to somebody else talking that way to a one of the women in their lives who are fat?

3) I've often said that fat is the last socially acceptable prejudice in our society. The way bigger people are caricatured in popular culture would be met with a hue and cry if it were, say, disabled people, or members of different ethnic or racial groups. As an example, think about how some airlines charge bigger people for two airline seats. Imagine if a major airline announced that people in wheelchairs, prosthetic limbs, or portable oxygen tanks would be charged for two seats?