Ask A Hotwife

[Silkysmooth]

Exactly what she said. Hubby is not a buck at all and often has his own playthings. While he is present sometimes I would say that 80% of the time I play solo.

Would love to have you solo for a whole night

 

[Stacie4blackonly]

I don't think you can make a blanket statement like that. We have a great sex life, always fuck after a BBC party and on some days when she is not partying. I think the idea of cutting off the hubby is part of the cuck fetish fantasy. It's not required at all.

And probably rarely happens if ever. I know TONS of couples in the Lifestyle and I don't know of any where the husband is forbidden from having sex. Statements like that come from single guys who wish they were LS.

 

[Htm100]

No you are not wrong and it can be very similar to juggling knives and not wanting to get cut. You have to make sure your family comes first and that the stuff outside of that is for fun and enjoyment. As a wife you can’t neglect your husband in favor of other men because it can cause a lot of problems. You have to have an open and completely honest dialogue with each other and respect that dialogue. It is not for everyone and will not work for everyone.

Thanks leafonthewind. Some great answers and perspectives, but honest as well.

 

[LeafOnTheWind]

Thanks for the great feedback from all the hotwives here! My wife and I experimented with some hotwife play a few years ago. She tried out having a fuck buddy and came back and told me all the details. Over a span of a few months this continued and it was very hot for both of us. I loved being with her afterwords, we were very connected and close, and the sex (with her and him) and her and I was amazing. She always played alone with him which I was Ok with. After a few months, she stopped seeing him, and eventually confessed to me that she got worried she was liking it "too much", thinking about the sex and wanting it more all the time.

Fast forward a few years and we still talk about it some, but she insists she does not want to play any more. We have good sex, perhaps not as frequent as I would like of course. I have also introduced the idea of trying a black bull to her since that first experience as I know she attracted to black guys. While she will acknowledge this and has occasionally mentioned a good looking guy to me, she will not move forward in any direction.

What I am wondering at this point is what your thought are on a woman just stopping like this? Is there any chance she opens up again? I know I need to not badger about it and do my best on that, and also know she needs to be comfortable, confident and secure in our relationship which I work on. My male brain can't quite wrap around the idea that given this open freedom and knows it will make me happy to experiment again she still would never want to partake, but maybe that is the case. What do you think @kcwife4bbc and others here?

There could be several reasons she chose to stop. The key one that I've seen come up often is someone develops deeper feelings that it being just about sex. The guy she was with could have told her that he loved her and wanted to be with her and she herself could have even found a deeper connection growing. In that case rather than get involved something that is going to bring pain and hurt it was easier to call it off and be done with it. Some other reasons could be she felt it devalued your marriage or it made her feel sexually deviant.

 

[Pittcpl4fun]

There could be several reasons she chose to stop. The key one that I've seen come up often is someone develops deeper feelings that it being just about sex. The guy she was with could have told her that he loved her and wanted to be with her and she herself could have even found a deeper connection growing. In that case rather than get involved something that is going to bring pain and hurt it was easier to call it off and be done with it. Some other reasons could be she felt it devalued your marriage or it made her feel sexually deviant.

Thank you for the thoughts @LeafOnTheWind I think your insights might be right on. These are also reasons why I should count myself lucky to have a wife who valued us above this short term excitement. She is also caring enough to have potentially seen this in him and we discussed as much this morning. Hard to say on the devalued part...the husbands in this always seem to think it will add value but that might be a mars versus venus problem!

 

[MarriedWhite]

I Def agree it is very risky and can lead toa ruined marriage. But if done right and you can find what works for you it is great. My wife is a hotwife and I a hot husband. Nothing comes close to the sex my wife and I have with each other.

Well said! We brought other men into our sex life to ENHANCE and add to that sex life, NOT to replace it. We have very open lines of communication, which is a terrific safety net for us. If either of us feels threatened by any aspect of what we're doing we immediately bring it out in the open and talk it out. We either fix it or drop it because our marriage is worth more than just a few sexual thrills. The men who join us are very close to being just animated sex toys, and most LIKE that! I know, it's a terrible thing to say, but it's also the truth. For both us and the guys, it's more a get-it-and-get kind of thing. They are all married and are not looking for romance, just sex. Now, I'll shut up before I get into trouble. Again

 

[Dblinsey]

First off, I’ve found this a very enjoyable thread! Thank you ‘Leafonthewind’ for starting it. I’m very confident that you answered a lot of questions that folks had about the lifestyle and shed some insights for me as well.
While I will be the first person to say that not every response is something that we (my husband and I) embrace, there are a lot of points that were pretty spot on, frankly surprising me.
In our case, my husband is almost always present. There are some situations where he could not be which I’ve explained in other threads. Speaking ONLY for myself, I feel more secure in the room, and he doesn’t feel intimidated in the least.
In our situation, there is absolutely, positively NO humiliation of either my husband or myself. We just don’t tolerate it and, if the other man proceeds down that road, just stop associating with him, simple.
I recommend a few things that have worked for us very well in the past.

• First and foremost, establish limitations and expectations with your husband. Issues like dating (him not being there), condoms (yes or no) and frequency of meetings should be clearly understood by both parties. We regard this as an enhancement of our basic relationship, never wanting it to overtake it.
• Always establish a rapport with a prospective playmate on line first. If he is polite, considerate, appears to meet your expectations, then agree to a purely social meeting.
• The purely social meeting is critical. A lot of men talk a great line, but haven’t a clue as to how to interact in a social setting. Be polite, open the conversation about what you may have talked about on line or on the phone and try to settle in to a normal exchange between adults. Once you are comfortable, discuss your expectations and limitations. If he appears agreeable, and everything else looks good, tell him that you’ll be in contact soon to let him know what you’ve decided.
• Finally and most important, set aside time to openly and honestly discuss the potential playmate with your husband. Everything is on the table. Let him know what you liked and didn’t like about him. Allow your husband to express his opinion in the same manner. Then, if at the end of this discussion you BOTH give the guy a thumbs up, text him and suggest a playdate.

We always meet at a hotel. Never go to his place as you don’t know if he has cameras set up without your knowledge or has scheduled ‘friends’ to drop by. We don’t want him to come to our home as we really don’t know him, having just met him socially the one time. If, after an extended relationship, you feel comfortable inviting him into your home, do so. But I still caution you about going to his place.
I know, all this sounds paranoid, but I’ve had the pleasure to meet fine people this way. None objected to the hotel or any other issue! Like I said up front, these points have worked for us very well for the past three years and neither my husband or I have had any regrets.
Hope this helps! If you have questions or comments, please post them in this thread. I will try my best to respond to any questions or comments posted.

 

[Alax77]

First off, I’ve found this a very enjoyable thread! Thank you ‘Leafonthewind’ for starting it. I’m very confident that you answered a lot of questions that folks had about the lifestyle and shed some insights for me as well.
While I will be the first person to say that not every response is something that we (my husband and I) embrace, there are a lot of points that were pretty spot on, frankly surprising me.
In our case, my husband is almost always present. There are some situations where he could not be which I’ve explained in other threads. Speaking ONLY for myself, I feel more secure in the room, and he doesn’t feel intimidated in the least.
In our situation, there is absolutely, positively NO humiliation of either my husband or myself. We just don’t tolerate it and, if the other man proceeds down that road, just stop associating with him, simple.
I recommend a few things that have worked for us very well in the past.

• First and foremost, establish limitations and expectations with your husband. Issues like dating (him not being there), condoms (yes or no) and frequency of meetings should be clearly understood by both parties. We regard this as an enhancement of our basic relationship, never wanting it to overtake it.
• Always establish a rapport with a prospective playmate on line first. If he is polite, considerate, appears to meet your expectations, then agree to a purely social meeting.
• The purely social meeting is critical. A lot of men talk a great line, but haven’t a clue as to how to interact in a social setting. Be polite, open the conversation about what you may have talked about on line or on the phone and try to settle in to a normal exchange between adults. Once you are comfortable, discuss your expectations and limitations. If he appears agreeable, and everything else looks good, tell him that you’ll be in contact soon to let him know what you’ve decided.
• Finally and most important, set aside time to openly and honestly discuss the potential playmate with your husband. Everything is on the table. Let him know what you liked and didn’t like about him. Allow your husband to express his opinion in the same manner. Then, if at the end of this discussion you BOTH give the guy a thumbs up, text him and suggest a playdate.

We always meet at a hotel. Never go to his place as you don’t know if he has cameras set up without your knowledge or has scheduled ‘friends’ to drop by. We don’t want him to come to our home as we really don’t know him, having just met him socially the one time. If, after an extended relationship, you feel comfortable inviting him into your home, do so. But I still caution you about going to his place.
I know, all this sounds paranoid, but I’ve had the pleasure to meet fine people this way. None objected to the hotel or any other issue! Like I said up front, these points have worked for us very well for the past three years and neither my husband or I have had any regrets.
Hope this helps! If you have questions or comments, please post them in this thread. I will try my best to respond to any questions or comments posted.

This sounds very similar to us. We have a set of rules we always follow and never break. The biggest imo is always being honest and open. We never play with a m or f unless they fully understand our rules and has no problem following them. We have only played at our house after several months of play dates in hotels when trust has been established but never at our toy's house m or f.

 

[love4bbc]

Great thread and i believe appreciated by many who wants to know more about hotwifing. I really love reading all comments, the Q&A's. I'm so damn curious my self. Thanks

 

[Dblinsey]

This sounds very similar to us. We have a set of rules we always follow and never break. The biggest imo is always being honest and open. We never play with a m or f unless they fully understand our rules and has no problem following them. We have only played at our house after several months of play dates in hotels when trust has been established but never at our toy's house m or f.

Alax77,
This lifestyle is like a pizza - fundamentally, they are the same. It's the individual nuances that make all the difference - and no two pizzas are the same.
Pick and choose what's right for you. If you find something that isn't working, by all means, change it!
I think the one thing to remember, of the three people involved, the couple sets the stage, but the woman has ultimate veto!
Take care and always remember, HAVE FUN!

 

[Dblinsey]

Great thread and i believe appreciated by many who wants to know more about hotwifing. I really love reading all comments, the Q&A's. I'm so damn curious my self. Thanks

If you're so curious, ASK! If I can't help, there are a number of wonderful ladies that will assist in any possible way. But no one can offer advice if you don't ask!

 

[Htm100]

Hotwifing can be a lot of fun and can bring you and your wife closer together. Being in this lifestyle you have to learn to not just talk to each other but to communicate on a deeper level. There has to be total trust between the both of you. I know this lifestyle has drawn my husband and I closer together. We have learned to not only talk to each other but to make sure we are on the same page. We talk through things and take time to make sure that we are both comfortable with this lifestyle. This lifestyle can be very fulfilling for all involved.

As for respecting my husband afterwards, I not only respect him but admire him for encouraging me to be the best hotwife/slut I can be.

Do you think that hotwifing and cuckolding are different in regard to a wife’s respect for her husband? I think cuckolding seems to be about humilitation whilst hotwifing is about her sexual expression and pleasure. Does it make a difference regarding whether the wife respects the hubby which dynamic you are in?

 

[housewifenheat]

Do you think that hotwifing and cuckolding are different in regard to a wife’s respect for her husband? I think cuckolding seems to be about humilitation whilst hotwifing is about her sexual expression and pleasure. Does it make a difference regarding whether the wife respects the hubby which dynamic you are in?

I think that hot wife is the good way to start. It is about both of you and the pleasure you receive from it. I still consider myself a hot wife. I also am in a cuckold relationship with my husband. We didn't start out that way but my husband liked when I took control. It has slowly progressed to me being completely in charge of our household. Honestly I respect my husband more now than when we started in this lifestyle. I think it takes a strong partner and someone who loves you unconditionally to support this lifestyle.

Humiliating the husband is something that both parties need to be ok with. Also you need to check in with each other. Again communication is key with both being a hot wife and being in a cuckold relationship. With regards to the respect of the husband, that is totally up to the wife and where she is at in this lifestyle and what you both want to get out of it.

I hope this answers your question.

 

[Htm100]

I think that hot wife is the good way to start. It is about both of you and the pleasure you receive from it. I still consider myself a hot wife. I also am in a cuckold relationship with my husband. We didn't start out that way but my husband liked when I took control. It has slowly progressed to me being completely in charge of our household. Honestly I respect my husband more now than when we started in this lifestyle. I think it takes a strong partner and someone who loves you unconditionally to support this lifestyle.

Humiliating the husband is something that both parties need to be ok with. Also you need to check in with each other. Again communication is key with both being a hot wife and being in a cuckold relationship. With regards to the respect of the husband, that is totally up to the wife and where she is at in this lifestyle and what you both want to get out of it.

I hope this answers your question.

Thanks. Yes it does. I dont think I could drift to cuckolding. I just want her to have great sex and be a fully sexual person.

 

[Achilles69]

how do you feel about double vag, do you do it, does it feel good to you or it is something that you do for your hubby?

 

[love2cum420]

Hotwifing, sounds great at first glance but how often does it lead to marriage or relationship breakdown or the wife getting her sexual needs met entirely elsewhere? How many hot wives still respect their husbands afterwards?

I think it’s a risky thing to open up. Am I wrong?

So me and my wife have been into the lifestyle since 2013 and in our case it has been a fun time we have gotten closer as a couple and are more in love today because of it. But not all couples are like us. My wife is more confident with her body and is dressing up more sexy than before. I will tell you that if you are worried about her being addicted to black cock don't do it because she will want dominant black men more and more. Just know that it can be the best thing or without communication you might lose her

 

[RainyDay87]

how do you feel about double vag, do you do it, does it feel good to you or it is something that you do for your hubby?

I think this is more of a personal question versus a hotwife question. My personal opinion I have never done it and don't know if I could do it or would enjoy it.

 

[Hungarian wife]

How do hotwifes feel about height?

 

[hotmelbcouple]

What are your thoughts on the first hotwife experience being with a past lover?

Bit of background - we've been dating for over 2 years and fantasised about her fucking other guys for nearly the whole time. I told her about my fantasy early on and she's gotten more and more into it and is great at role playing and telling me stories about her past. We've just never taken the next step.

She is hesitant to do it with a stranger and feels she'd be more comfortable and get more into it with someone she's been with and enjoyed sex with.

We've got two guys in mind. Both live in different countries and are people she had short relationships with while working abroad.

We've chatted to one of the guys and he's really keen, here's a link to some of the conversation -

https://imgur.com/a/Hopab

For me the idea is really hot, only query would be sparking old feelings. Have any of you guys done this before?

 

[allinone]

For me I like dirty talk like being called a slut and such.


Thank you for enjoying the thread and I am glad to see people asking questions and other women in the lifestyle giving great answers and sharing their side.

For my husband and I it was actually an easy transition as we both had failed at traditional relationships in the past due to our sex drives. So we went into our relationship and marriage knowing what we both wanted and accepting of that. We sat down and talked about the details and what all would need to be done and how things were to be handled so it wasn't just chaos.

In your situation it is going to be tricky if it ever happens and I would like you mention not push. You two are young and it sounds like you have a solid relationship built. Quite honestly she might be perfectly happy with where she is sex and relationship wise. Cuckolding or being a hotwife is not for everyone and it has to be her decision. I am not meaning to scold you but there is an issue out there that men want to see their wives or girlfriends do this and then they push and it can do far more damage than anything good coming from it. Find the line between encouragement and being pushing. I also preach the word threesome. Start there and see if she is open to the idea of a threesome with someone. Chances are if she turns that down she is not wanting to go through with the other stuff and it will give both of you a fair chance to see and feel what it is like to have another person in your sex life. I find it is a lot easier to get done with a threesome that didn't work and recover from that then a failed attempt at cuckolding or getting your partner to cheat.

I really like this response/opinion. Maybe, just maybe the start of a new thread is necessary. That would be the topic of "threesome". It has no connotation of hotwife and eliminates the humiliation factor. My opinion is that a threesome would peak the interest of a majority here. I, for one, am turned on by having sex with my wife and having another man join us. My selfish motive would be that the third be a BBC. It has nothing to do with bisexuality and more about my wife enjoying two men at the same time and letting herself go. If I happen to finish first, I would gladly step aside and let her experience her BBC on her own. Does this make sense to anyone else? I would love to hear your responses