Why not just marry a black male?
- Thread starter 45424-OH
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This should be the ultimate goal, not some bonus lol
If you're getting married just because you think you should or you're afraid to be alone or end up with someone ugly you're getting married for the wrong reasons and it will likely fail.
People bitch and complain about their marriages and incompatibility with their spouses but you chose that person. If you just grab the first person you deem attractive enough (which seems to be the only standard you're focused on) then yeah, you're going to have issues. Choosing a partner isn't like choosing a shirt, you don't just choose the one that looks nicest, you have to actually put some thought into it.
I get contacted very frequently on Fet and reddit by men who are cheating and they get super pissy when I read them to filth for it and offer no sympathy for their situations. The biggest thing I hear is "it's not fair for you to judge, you don't know what it's like - not everyone is as lucky as you" and that's some big bullshit. I didn't get lucky, I carefully selected my partner and made sure we were compatible. It's not some happy accident, it's by design. The lack of effort and thought people put into selecting their forever mate is astounding and it's no wonder cheating and divorce is so prevalent with these attitudes.
Aaah, who said I'm loosing my attractiveness/youth/vigor and should settle down? WTF!!
It's about finding and moreover searching for the good match. What I regret is not looking for that match earlier. Marriage should not be like a retirement at all. That's my point of view. And I appreciate it's the ideal environment for rearing *******. I won't give my ******* the impression I'm fucking around either. That's adult life like what parents like to do in bed.
Depends on where you reside.... For example in Austin, TX and suburbs surrounding the city, you'll see interracial couples often. In West Texas... Not so much.
Dudes will bang a 4 just because it’s available. Most women can get the ‘D’ if they won’t ******* the man to settle down with her.
Ava, I agree a lot with your post. A lot of people are entering into ethical non monogamy. But I think the majority of people are jealous people and can’t deal with their mate having sex with multiple people and giving their attention to them.
The whole key to ethical non monogamy is using skills to deal with the feelings you are dealing with, showing why this is not naturally what we want.
Now can you do it, no doubt but it’s hard. I don’t think the majority of people are like you and don’t care if their partner has several partners.
But I hear what you are saying.
I do agree with chingy (can’t call you by your username- hahahahaha) that many bulls don’t mind banging out other women but ain’t too flexible if their “ride or die“ or woman they care wants to fuck other BBCs. Just saying
and women on this site ain’t too fond of their man sleeping with other women, especially if he can please them.
it’s takes a special person to do what you do.
I think my wife wishes she was married to her black boyfriend....she has already talked about if "he" gets her pregnant what are "we" going to do
Barbara Monroe
Female
For my generation marrying outside your race was considered taboo. But I'm certain my daughters will marry black men and I will encourage them too.
you will raise the baby and your own. You are already far down the road to not do it.
Barbara, your daughters are more likely going to do what you are doing IF they know you are in the lifestyle. This lifestyle is the best “best of both worlds”.
I agree it takes skill to properly process any complex feelings, but that's not unique to non monogamy.
I disagree that non monogamy isn't naturally what we want. Humans prove again and again that we're inherently non monogamous, societal and religious pressure forces people to feel like it's not natural and yet the people who push those constructs the most are usually outed eventually for cheating on their spouses. You can repress something but eventually nature corrects.
There are exceptions but most people are not so eager to pair off because they perceive it as a loss of freedom. I've never felt that way in my marriage, which is one of the reasons it's been so successful. I love my husband and seeing him happy makes me happy, if that happiness comes from success at work or having a threeway with two other women is of no consequence to me lol
Love & Sex isn't a dual congruent, black/white, situation. I've loved people and not been attracted to them, vice versa. I think the real issue here is about the need 4 Humans to grasp on to categorizations or project their own likes/wants/needs into a Multi-Purpose Lifestyle/Relationship situation and not being self-aware enough to see that.
Honestly, If I was married I'd probably have an Open/Poly Relationship happening cause I am a thrill seeker, and need new stimuli every so often so I won't become a pit of stagnation (There are for sure Men/Cucks on here w/ similar feelings I'm sure butbeing on here is about the Wife)
Honestly, If I was married I'd probably have an Open/Poly Relationship happening cause I am a thrill seeker, and need new stimuli every so often so I won't become a pit of stagnation (There are for sure Men/Cucks on here w/ similar feelings I'm sure butbeing on here is about the Wife)
Ava, i really enjoy our conversation. It’s been very enlightening. I think that most people would want to be married to one person if we understood how to do it correctly. Just my opinion.
I know as many people on the “I love my spouse and would never want someone else” as you know non monogamous people who want the freedom of multiple relationships and sexual partners (although the successful ones always have a primary relationship that meets their need for security and safety and would do whatever it takes to always have that relationship).
Ava, we will agree to disagree. I’m a passionate monogamy guy and you are a non monogamy with a primary relationship woman. I feel you.
My theory is, if we did relationships right, we would want to not want to be with other people as much. But when you live life separate of each other and just get together to go out with friends, hang out, and have sex - you will lose passion really quick. There is a way to keep those intense feelings we have at the beginning of the relationship.
Non monogamy theory is we aren’t naturally monogamous and want the freedom to pursue whatever the feel right in the moment.
I would love to do a project with 100 non monogamous couples and 100 couples pursuing passionate monogamy and interview them 10 years later and see the results.
But I’m a gym teacher so I can’t do that research.
Ava, love the back and forth.
VA BBC - I feel you on the separation but the facts is that sex has a dual function - dopamine (pleasure) and oxytocin (draw us closer together). Although we may not want to catch feelings - sometimes it happens because that’s what sex is for, along with pleasure.
Successfully separating sex and feelings is like successfully juggling fire - some can do it and but many get burned.
You can't seperate sex and feelings, this is where most people fail. It's not realistic.
What you can do is decide how to process those feelings. You can love someone and not be in love with them if you can take a step back and allow yourself to feel the emotion but not be swept up in it. I have a lot of love for my fwb, we are super close, but we're not in love because we process those feelings through the friendship, not romance.
******* is hard, though. Ava going hard for her movement
I’m going hard for my movement
I’m going to get my ass kicked for my movement in this site but it’s all good -hahahahaha
You explained the processing of feelings very well. I can see why you have 4 boyfriends - you are very intelligent, passionate, and Im sure, very sexy.
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