New...Excited and afraid

[Bigpapa44]

Hello all,
My lady had a delivery in the North Bay Bay area Cali, and was approached by a man, also a big strong black man that captivated her. He was sweet and kind but also very forward in his thoughts toward her. He said Yummy several times and showed intense interest.

My lady put out a feeler after addressing it with me about talking more about the initial meeting to see about the interest. She felt compelled and excited to push forward with talks and possibilities and began with talks and texts. Although I am not a cuck, I want her to have some free reign and develop a connection to have a long-term boyfriend.

He lives an hour away and the first meet-up was supposed to be last night. The two texted hundreds of times daily and he was romantic, sweet, kind, and alluring. He'd send her songs he liked. He told her he was nearly exclusively into white ladies and was drawn to her shyness.

She's a VERY cautious lady and wanted to be sure of who he is and send it to me. He refused to give her his last name as she made the statement about her wanting me to have it. He seemed flustered and lashed out a bit. She has been crying and devastated since those talks. The Mrs. was refusing to meet up with someone unwilling to give up a piece of information. They had a little disagreement and he seemed to push for an ultimatum, not 100% but appearing to be one, of come tonight or don't come at all.

I have explained there are cultural differences in people of different ethnicities and their way of being can be considered brash or overly forward. Tried also to explain that cultural differences can actually be enlightening and empowering for all who open up to seeing things from others perspectives. The unfortunate part is he does not communicate well on those levels and his communication alone could help with the control aspect she needs for safety and to ensure he makes her feel comfortable with being open and honest but also not controlling.

She is devastated. We have had more sex in the last two weeks then in the last 8 months due to some traumatic life events in both our families. This has woken her up. She's smiling, she's loving the attention, she's wanting to explore and be explored. She's voracious and wet non-stop.

Please send me your thoughts to either help her move on or why to continue?

 

[BlackYourWife]

Tell the wife to trust her gut. If she's uncertain at all, forget the guy.
If he gave a last name, there's no guarantee he's telling the truth.
The guy is a problem. Avoid him.

 

[eyespy07]

Hello all,
My lady had a delivery in the North Bay Bay area Cali, and was approached by a man, also a big strong black man that captivated her. He was sweet and kind but also very forward in his thoughts toward her. He said Yummy several times and showed intense interest.

My lady put out a feeler after addressing it with me about talking more about the initial meeting to see about the interest. She felt compelled and excited to push forward with talks and possibilities and began with talks and texts. Although I am not a cuck, I want her to have some free reign and develop a connection to have a long-term boyfriend.

He lives an hour away and the first meet-up was supposed to be last night. The two texted hundreds of times daily and he was romantic, sweet, kind, and alluring. He'd send her songs he liked. He told her he was nearly exclusively into white ladies and was drawn to her shyness.

She's a VERY cautious lady and wanted to be sure of who he is and send it to me. He refused to give her his last name as she made the statement about her wanting me to have it. He seemed flustered and lashed out a bit. She has been crying and devastated since those talks. The Mrs. was refusing to meet up with someone unwilling to give up a piece of information. They had a little disagreement and he seemed to push for an ultimatum, not 100% but appearing to be one, of come tonight or don't come at all.

I have explained there are cultural differences in people of different ethnicities and their way of being can be considered brash or overly forward. Tried also to explain that cultural differences can actually be enlightening and empowering for all who open up to seeing things from others perspectives. The unfortunate part is he does not communicate well on those levels and his communication alone could help with the control aspect she needs for safety and to ensure he makes her feel comfortable with being open and honest but also not controlling.

She is devastated. We have had more sex in the last two weeks then in the last 8 months due to some traumatic life events in both our families. This has woken her up. She's smiling, she's loving the attention, she's wanting to explore and be explored. She's voracious and wet non-stop.

Please send me your thoughts to either help her move on or why to continue?

Giving out full actual names and other information is as much a risk as meeting someone for the 1st time for sex. I would think more information would be revealed after subsequent "dates" and fuck sessions.
Though, if your wife didn't feel comfortable, then she had her reasons. However, I wouldn't give up. Just find someone else that would be willing to slowly divulge who they are....and you two, as well. Equal reciprocation.

 

[Bigpapa44]

Tell the wife to trust her gut. If she's uncertain at all, forget the guy.
If he gave a last name, there's no guarantee he's telling the truth.
The guy is a problem. Avoid him.

Thank you, I agree. She felt uncomfortable at some point and felt like he was love-bombing. His attitude changed substantially after the question also. The sweet conversation to direct and more do this now or don't at all. Not directly but definitely indirectly...

 

[Bigpapa44]

Giving out full actual names and other information is as much a risk as meeting someone for the 1st time for sex. I would think more information would be revealed after subsequent "dates" and fuck sessions.
Though, if your wife didn't feel comfortable, then she had her reasons. However, I wouldn't give up. Just find someone else that would be willing to slowly divulge who they are....and you two, as well. Equal reciprocation.

Not really reciprocal at all as he delivered to her, had her full name, address and more. It is that aspect that brought the feeling for her that is was uneven. I think she and I could handle the slower mutual divulging if it was mutually communicated.
Much appreciated for the input.

 

[txskipper]

Not really reciprocal at all as he delivered to her, had her full name, address and more. It is that aspect that brought the feeling for her that is was uneven. I think she and I could handle the slower mutual divulging if it was mutually communicated.
Much appreciated for the input.

Red flags. Don't ignore

 

[Late12bed]

Bail out. There are plenty of good candidates out there.

Keep the good line of communication you two have and always be very open and transparent with each other. Make sure you are both always comfortable moving forward at every stage together as a couple. That’s what this lifestyle is all about anyway right?

Sounds like you dodged a bullet!

 

[MagicMikeATX]

Giving out full actual names and other information is as much a risk as meeting someone for the 1st time for sex. I would think more information would be revealed after subsequent "dates" and fuck sessions.
Though, if your wife didn't feel comfortable, then she had her reasons. However, I wouldn't give up. Just find someone else that would be willing to slowly divulge who they are....and you two, as well. Equal reciprocation.

That is correct

Hello all,
My lady had a delivery in the North Bay Bay area Cali, and was approached by a man, also a big strong black man that captivated her. He was sweet and kind but also very forward in his thoughts toward her. He said Yummy several times and showed intense interest.

My lady put out a feeler after addressing it with me about talking more about the initial meeting to see about the interest. She felt compelled and excited to push forward with talks and possibilities and began with talks and texts. Although I am not a cuck, I want her to have some free reign and develop a connection to have a long-term boyfriend.

He lives an hour away and the first meet-up was supposed to be last night. The two texted hundreds of times daily and he was romantic, sweet, kind, and alluring. He'd send her songs he liked. He told her he was nearly exclusively into white ladies and was drawn to her shyness.

She's a VERY cautious lady and wanted to be sure of who he is and send it to me. He refused to give her his last name as she made the statement about her wanting me to have it. He seemed flustered and lashed out a bit. She has been crying and devastated since those talks. The Mrs. was refusing to meet up with someone unwilling to give up a piece of information. They had a little disagreement and he seemed to push for an ultimatum, not 100% but appearing to be one, of come tonight or don't come at all.

I have explained there are cultural differences in people of different ethnicities and their way of being can be considered brash or overly forward. Tried also to explain that cultural differences can actually be enlightening and empowering for all who open up to seeing things from others perspectives. The unfortunate part is he does not communicate well on those levels and his communication alone could help with the control aspect she needs for safety and to ensure he makes her feel comfortable with being open and honest but also not controlling.

She is devastated. We have had more sex in the last two weeks then in the last 8 months due to some traumatic life events in both our families. This has woken her up. She's smiling, she's loving the attention, she's wanting to explore and be explored. She's voracious and wet non-stop.

Please send me your thoughts to either help her move on or why to continue?

Thoughts from an experienced Bull 12 years into the lifestyle

No reason to stop exploring! Sounds like this was Her first time and Trust me, there will be PLENTY of awesome experiences! I've had some crappy encounters over the years and several times I just wanted to quit and walk away.

If I did that... there are some incredibly sexy women I would have not met!

What @eyespy07 said is FACTUALLY correct. Whether it pertains to your situation or not is besides the point. Giving out real names to strangers should be proceeded with caution. Once your information is out there it can never be taken back.

DOXXING is a real thing (Google the term).

I speak to plenty of single women and couples all the time. A recurring complaint is a guy, or an unsavory character who knows your REAL name, has your phone number, and knows where you live. If a person has your name and phone number they can easily track you down.

The #1 aspect of enjoying this lifestyle is TRUST.

You have to commit an amount of trust to the person you are meeting up with. It cannot be allabout the size of a woman's titties or the size of a man's dick It has to be about if that person is mentally stable, if there is a positive vibe/energy, and do they appear TRUSTWORTHY.

I'm proud to say, in all my years of doing this I have never betrayed anyone's Trust (And so far, have not had my trust betrayed) I'm very careful

Now this next part might TRIGGER some people, but there is some truth to it -

I totally understand why he was flustered (but he's not here to defend himself so I cannot comment on his 'lashing out'. that's a matter of opinion and perspective) .

From HIS point of view, he was probably frustrated by her demands of knowing more about him.
Newsflash: He has ZERO obligations to her emotional state. she is Not his girlfriend. She is not his significant other. That's what hubby is for.

And from what I've read, they haven't had sex yet. Yes flirting is fun, but there's no REAL LIFE CONNECTION between the two of them.

Flirting - and the possibility of sex - does not equate to a Real Life connection. That takes time to establish. So, from his perspective, I'm sure He felt his privacy was being violated... or at the very least not being respected. He even said he's willing to commit MORE information if in fact, they became fuck buddies (or more)

(Lifestyle guys have FEELINGS too, folks! )

There's no reason for the two of you to abandon this lifestyle completely. There are going to be bumps and Life Lessons Learned along the way. Everyone involved is dealing with respective lives , families, careers, work stress, and emotions. It's all a part of being human!

FUCK or FEELINGS is part of the game

But stick around long enough and have fun! IF You're LUCKY, you'll find a guy She can establish a long-term connection with!

 

[TheTaylorBear]

Hello all,
My lady had a delivery in the North Bay Bay area Cali, and was approached by a man, also a big strong black man that captivated her. He was sweet and kind but also very forward in his thoughts toward her. He said Yummy several times and showed intense interest.

My lady put out a feeler after addressing it with me about talking more about the initial meeting to see about the interest. She felt compelled and excited to push forward with talks and possibilities and began with talks and texts. Although I am not a cuck, I want her to have some free reign and develop a connection to have a long-term boyfriend.

He lives an hour away and the first meet-up was supposed to be last night. The two texted hundreds of times daily and he was romantic, sweet, kind, and alluring. He'd send her songs he liked. He told her he was nearly exclusively into white ladies and was drawn to her shyness.

She's a VERY cautious lady and wanted to be sure of who he is and send it to me. He refused to give her his last name as she made the statement about her wanting me to have it. He seemed flustered and lashed out a bit. She has been crying and devastated since those talks. The Mrs. was refusing to meet up with someone unwilling to give up a piece of information. They had a little disagreement and he seemed to push for an ultimatum, not 100% but appearing to be one, of come tonight or don't come at all.

I have explained there are cultural differences in people of different ethnicities and their way of being can be considered brash or overly forward. Tried also to explain that cultural differences can actually be enlightening and empowering for all who open up to seeing things from others perspectives. The unfortunate part is he does not communicate well on those levels and his communication alone could help with the control aspect she needs for safety and to ensure he makes her feel comfortable with being open and honest but also not controlling.

She is devastated. We have had more sex in the last two weeks then in the last 8 months due to some traumatic life events in both our families. This has woken her up. She's smiling, she's loving the attention, she's wanting to explore and be explored. She's voracious and wet non-stop.

Please send me your thoughts to either help her move on or why to continue?

I dunno , but from what I read you said he knew her first and last name & refused to give his last name and made an ultimatum ...
I've said it before and I'll say it again from @MagicMikeATX "This is a Grown Man's Game" & grown men do not operate like that!
Grown men who have their stuff together are cautious until trust is established & it seems like he just didn't trust you for some reason so with that said...

 

[KhotwifeK]

That is correct


Thoughts from an experienced Bull 12 years into the lifestyle

No reason to stop exploring! Sounds like this was Her first time and Trust me, there will be PLENTY of awesome experiences! I've had some crappy encounters over the years and several times I just wanted to quit and walk away.

If I did that... there are some incredibly sexy women I would have not met!

What @eyespy07 said is FACTUALLY correct. Whether it pertains to your situation or not is besides the point. Giving out real names to strangers should be proceeded with caution. Once your information is out there it can never be taken back.

DOXXING is a real thing (Google the term).

I speak to plenty of single women and couples all the time. A recurring complaint is a guy, or an unsavory character who knows your REAL name, has your phone number, and knows where you live. If a person has your name and phone number they can easily track you down.

The #1 aspect of enjoying this lifestyle is TRUST.

You have to commit an amount of trust to the person you are meeting up with. It cannot be allabout the size of a woman's titties or the size of a man's dick It has to be about if that person is mentally stable, if there is a positive vibe/energy, and do they appear TRUSTWORTHY.

I'm proud to say, in all my years of doing this I have never betrayed anyone's Trust (And so far, have not had my trust betrayed) I'm very careful

Now this next part might TRIGGER some people, but there is some truth to it -

I totally understand why he was flustered (but he's not here to defend himself so I cannot comment on his 'lashing out'. that's a matter of opinion and perspective) .

From HIS point of view, he was probably frustrated by her demands of knowing more about him.
Newsflash: He has ZERO obligations to her emotional state. she is Not his girlfriend. She is not his significant other. That's what hubby is for.

And from what I've read, they haven't had sex yet. Yes flirting is fun, but there's no REAL LIFE CONNECTION between the two of them.

Flirting - and the possibility of sex - does not equate to a Real Life connection. That takes time to establish. So, from his perspective, I'm sure He felt his privacy was being violated... or at the very least not being respected. He even said he's willing to commit MORE information if in fact, they became fuck buddies (or more)

(Lifestyle guys have FEELINGS too, folks! )

There's no reason for the two of you to abandon this lifestyle completely. There are going to be bumps and Life Lessons Learned along the way. Everyone involved is dealing with respective lives , families, careers, work stress, and emotions. It's all a part of being human!

FUCK or FEELINGS is part of the game

But stick around long enough and have fun! IF You're LUCKY, you'll find a guy She can establish a long-term connection with!

Perfectly put.

 

[MagicMikeATX]

I dunno , but from what I read you said he knew her first and last name & refused to give his last name and made an ultimatum ...
I've said it before and I'll say it again from @MagicMikeATX "This is a Grown Man's Game" & grown men do not operate like that!
Grown men who have their stuff together are cautious until trust is established & it seems like he just didn't trust you for some reason so with that said...

Can't tell you how many times I've used that phrase "I'm a grown ass man!"
Definitely come correctly.

But yes, at this point that particular scenario has soured and it got mad awkward. But there are plenty of available Bulls out there. There is never a reason to get hung up on any one person

 

[Bigpapa44]

Bail out. There are plenty of good candidates out there.

Keep the good line of communication you two have and always be very open and transparent with each other. Make sure you are both always comfortable moving forward at every stage together as a couple. That’s what this lifestyle is all about anyway right?

Sounds like you dodged a bullet!

Agreed, thank you for your insight!

 

[Darkjumper]

Hello all,
My lady had a delivery in the North Bay Bay area Cali, and was approached by a man, also a big strong black man that captivated her. He was sweet and kind but also very forward in his thoughts toward her. He said Yummy several times and showed intense interest.

My lady put out a feeler after addressing it with me about talking more about the initial meeting to see about the interest. She felt compelled and excited to push forward with talks and possibilities and began with talks and texts. Although I am not a cuck, I want her to have some free reign and develop a connection to have a long-term boyfriend.

He lives an hour away and the first meet-up was supposed to be last night. The two texted hundreds of times daily and he was romantic, sweet, kind, and alluring. He'd send her songs he liked. He told her he was nearly exclusively into white ladies and was drawn to her shyness.

She's a VERY cautious lady and wanted to be sure of who he is and send it to me. He refused to give her his last name as she made the statement about her wanting me to have it. He seemed flustered and lashed out a bit. She has been crying and devastated since those talks. The Mrs. was refusing to meet up with someone unwilling to give up a piece of information. They had a little disagreement and he seemed to push for an ultimatum, not 100% but appearing to be one, of come tonight or don't come at all.

I have explained there are cultural differences in people of different ethnicities and their way of being can be considered brash or overly forward. Tried also to explain that cultural differences can actually be enlightening and empowering for all who open up to seeing things from others perspectives. The unfortunate part is he does not communicate well on those levels and his communication alone could help with the control aspect she needs for safety and to ensure he makes her feel comfortable with being open and honest but also not controlling.

She is devastated. We have had more sex in the last two weeks then in the last 8 months due to some traumatic life events in both our families. This has woken her up. She's smiling, she's loving the attention, she's wanting to explore and be explored. She's voracious and wet non-stop.

Please send me your thoughts to either help her move on or why to continue?

She seems too emotionally invested in such a short time. I know there is no rule of thumb for when someone can get attached, but you have to be realistic. She met him once, and if he is not communicating at level that provides enough comfort, then take it as a red flag and move on. But I have to wonder, what is she looking for out of this? Romance or just good s3x while having fun? All that romantic stuff he is sharing seems like he or even she, is on a path beyond just playing.

 

[KhotwifeK]

She seems too emotionally invested in such a short time. I know there is no rule of thumb for when someone can get attached, but you have to be realistic. She met him once, and if he is not communicating at level that provides enough comfort, then take it as a red flag and move on. But I have to wonder, what is she looking for out of this? Romance or just good s3x while having fun? All that romantic stuff he is sharing seems like he or even she, is on a path beyond just playing.

Is it okay to get romantically involved?

 

[Darkjumper]

Is it okay to get romantically involved?

That's all relative. I know I don't allow myself to get romantically involved with anyone unless that's the end goal. Even when I was single, I drew the line, set the expectations and stuck with it. Sure some tried to change the rules in the 4th quarter, that that point, I blew the whistle, called flag on the play and rendered a penalty. For one, I am not out to ruin any relationships, and I won't let anyone try to ruin mine.

 

[KhotwifeK]

That's all relative. I know I don't allow myself to get romantically involved with anyone unless that's the end goal. Even when I was single, I drew the line, set the expectations and stuck with it. Sure some tried to change the rules in the 4th quarter, that that point, I blew the whistle, called flag on the play and rendered a penalty. For one, I am not out to ruin any relationships, and I won't let anyone try to ruin mine.

Thank you for the advice!

 

[Darkjumper]

Thank you for the advice!

Did you ask that question because you are catching feelings for your bull or the other way around so you are wrestling with it? Keep in mind, there is right or wrong answer, it's what is appropriate for you and your situation. If there are no morals violated, and no one is getting hurt emotionally, then go for it. At the end of the day, it's you that have to live with the decision and consequences. Hope this helps, leave payment with the receptionists on your way out lol.

 

[KhotwifeK]

Did you ask that question because you are catching feelings for your bull or the other way around so you are wrestling with it? Keep in mind, there is right or wrong answer, it's what is appropriate for you and your situation. If there are no morals violated, and no one is getting hurt emotionally, then go for it. At the end of the day, it's you that have to live with the decision and consequences. Hope this helps, leave payment with the receptionists on your way out lol.

Yes i think it is a situation where we are both catching feelings…

 

[Darkjumper]

Yes i think it is a situation where we are both catching feelings…

Are the both of you single or in a relationship?

 

[Darkjumper]