I feel the same.. in a way, guilty to a degree that when we decide to actively pursue a bull.. I'm in a constant state of arousal. Sexting becomes a daily thing with my husband where, when we are not active in the lifestyle sexting is a once in a blue moon thing.
It's hard for me to explain.. because honestly for me, inviting a third into my sex life is extremely nerve wracking. I am incredibly shy and insecure. It's not necessarily that which gets me going, but something about my husband describing how he enjoys seeing me take a larger man. I haven't been able to put my finger on why it's such a turn on, exactly. We've had some experience, not a lot... but I can say without a doubt, that glancing over at my husband while another man was thrusting his much larger cock inside of me, was the most intoxicating thing I've ever experienced. My husband looked infatuated with me, proud. I remember giving him a grateful smirk before allowing myself to let go and completely indulge in the experience.
Mine prefers to be present, which brings a while nother level of insecurities for me.. This time around, I'm working on being more vocal like he wishes.