I can't tell if I fell in love with him. It took me a while to figure out what kind of person I am and what I wanted - and I'm probably not completely sure of any of that. I definitely need him. But I also love and have great sex with my husband. Until recently, I thought I needed sex with several men to satisfy my libido. But I also knew I was doing it to avoid getting into a serious relation with my favorite black man. And then, that started to hurt. I'd been feeling I was cheating on a person who better didn't want to know and wouldn't like it. I know it's silly, because he has been seeing another woman, but I didn't care (much) - well, the reason is we had stopped seeing each other for a while and are now meeting again. Like a month ago, we found out we liked to be together not only in bed, and that we would even go exclusive with each other. Husband doesn't mind me meeting other / black men, but doubts I could manage with him and one black man alone. Nor he does think the other man would accept a polyamorous relationship long term where he would always be the lover and without having children. I understand it's an unstable situation. We are 3 weeks into this, no commitments, but I really want it to work.