Long story short, I was an active bbc bull in the Lifestyle for over 15 years. Met another woman on sex site into the same kinks 2 years ago and now we’re happily married. Yes, she’s white woman.
My wife is open to sex with any race, but still prefers black men (bbc or not). Since I’ve been playing in the LS as a couple, I have a few gripes I wish others in LS would understand:
1. Stop assuming because a man lets his gf/wife fuck other men that he’s a cuck, sub, or bisexual. For example, I’m very straight and dominant.
2. Stop assuming that every man who lets his wife/gf be with other men it’s a turn on for him. I don’t allow my wife to screw other men because it gets me turned on nor does my dick get hard. I do it because I love her and also care about her needs. It’s to bring better balance/fairness into our relationship since I’m still an active bull satisfying other women. However she is bisexual and gets turned on when I’m with other women. We are 2 different people in this regard but communicate well to make it work.
3. Stop assuming that if a woman is wanting to fuck other men outside her relationship she is unhappy and not satisfied. Most of all stop thinking she’s possibly looking to leave her man for you lol. My wife gets all the good dick she wants from me. Others who know us say she’s very and lucky and spoiled (and that she is). My wife even says “I love being with other men, but they’re not you”. Some people just like to be others sexually for variety . Doesn’t mean their primary partner or spouse is lacking necessarily. I get it, majority of couples/women I used to meet it was the case. But over the years, it wasn’t all of them.
4. Some couples are more poly and are looking for something closer to a boyfriend for their hotwife or gf. Some are not looking for the emotional connection from bulls and just want a long term lover for the wife they can call every now and then. Finally there are couples who want just sex only from others (traditional swingers), they may or may not want to see you again…the wife is not dedicated to any one bull or group of bulls. She just likes to have fun with whoever when the opportunity arises or they may primarily only like to play at swingers clubs or swinger events. As a bull and lover, your job is to decipher what type of woman and couple you’re dealing with.
Multiple times already we’ve had men get too attached to my wife after sex (even sometimes before meeting) essentially trying to be her “boyfriend” and asking to take her out on dates and text her romantically. Not only as a bull is this reckless and disrespectful, but unprofessional. You must communicate with whoever you meet and make sure you’re into the same dynamic they are or at least willing to accept their terms. If being poly is a swinger couples thing, by all means be her bf. But if woman in a couple just wants sex then have self control and enough respect for their relationship to leave it at that.
5. Success in this lifestyle hangs on communication, trust and open honesty for both singles and couples. This is not a lifestyle where you just “wing it” and hope all works out for the best lol. This is also not a lifestyle to hide behind your secret kinks or perversions. Too many cucks try to use their women to get access to black dick easier, for example. Don’t be deceptive. Your life will be much smoother in the end when you properly communicate to your spouse and play partners what you exactly want.
6. Stop assuming because a black man is in relationship or married to white woman that all he likes are snowbunnies and pawgs. Most of us still find black women attractive too lol. As for me, i still love to fuck Latinas, Asians, Arab and Indian women. I don’t get with white women because I’m “ashamed to be black” or “I’m trying to get back at white men” or because I have some type of inferiority complex. If my white wife was in a Japanese body, I’d loved her just the same. I married because of chemistry, universal connections, and spiritual compatibility …not because of race. If you get with someone based off race alone you’re going to find yourself very unhappy. It’s the same for the sex partners I choose.
Ultimately this lifestyle is fun with lots of fantasies and kinks, but just make sure in the process you’re not disrespecting others. You must balance it all out being grounded in a little reality.