Know Your Swingers

bbcjaxxx said:
Long story short, I was an active bbc bull in the Lifestyle for over 15 years. Met another woman on sex site into the same kinks 2 years ago and now we’re happily married. Yes, she’s white woman.

My wife is open to sex with any race, but still prefers black men (bbc or not). Since I’ve been playing in the LS as a couple, I have a few gripes I wish others in LS would understand:

1. Stop assuming because a man lets his gf/wife fuck other men that he’s a cuck, sub, or bisexual. For example, I’m very straight and dominant.

2. Stop assuming that every man who lets his wife/gf be with other men it’s a turn on for him. I don’t allow my wife to screw other men because it gets me turned on nor does my dick get hard. I do it because I love her and also care about her needs. It’s to bring better balance/fairness into our relationship since I’m still an active bull satisfying other women. However she is bisexual and gets turned on when I’m with other women. We are 2 different people in this regard but communicate well to make it work.

3. Stop assuming that if a woman is wanting to fuck other men outside her relationship she is unhappy and not satisfied. Most of all stop thinking she’s possibly looking to leave her man for you lol. My wife gets all the good dick she wants from me. Others who know us say she’s very and lucky and spoiled (and that she is). My wife even says “I love being with other men, but they’re not you”. Some people just like to be others sexually for variety . Doesn’t mean their primary partner or spouse is lacking necessarily. I get it, majority of couples/women I used to meet it was the case. But over the years, it wasn’t all of them.

4. Some couples are more poly and are looking for something closer to a boyfriend for their hotwife or gf. Some are not looking for the emotional connection from bulls and just want a long term lover for the wife they can call every now and then. Finally there are couples who want just sex only from others (traditional swingers), they may or may not want to see you again…the wife is not dedicated to any one bull or group of bulls. She just likes to have fun with whoever when the opportunity arises or they may primarily only like to play at swingers clubs or swinger events. As a bull and lover, your job is to decipher what type of woman and couple you’re dealing with.

Multiple times already we’ve had men get too attached to my wife after sex (even sometimes before meeting) essentially trying to be her “boyfriend” and asking to take her out on dates and text her romantically. Not only as a bull is this reckless and disrespectful, but unprofessional. You must communicate with whoever you meet and make sure you’re into the same dynamic they are or at least willing to accept their terms. If being poly is a swinger couples thing, by all means be her bf. But if woman in a couple just wants sex then have self control and enough respect for their relationship to leave it at that.

5. Success in this lifestyle hangs on communication, trust and open honesty for both singles and couples. This is not a lifestyle where you just “wing it” and hope all works out for the best lol. This is also not a lifestyle to hide behind your secret kinks or perversions. Too many cucks try to use their women to get access to black dick easier, for example. Don’t be deceptive. Your life will be much smoother in the end when you properly communicate to your spouse and play partners what you exactly want.

6. Stop assuming because a black man is in relationship or married to white woman that all he likes are snowbunnies and pawgs. Most of us still find black women attractive too lol. As for me, i still love to fuck Latinas, Asians, Arab and Indian women. I don’t get with white women because I’m “ashamed to be black” or “I’m trying to get back at white men” or because I have some type of inferiority complex. If my white wife was in a Japanese body, I’d loved her just the same. I married because of chemistry, universal connections, and spiritual compatibility …not because of race. If you get with someone based off race alone you’re going to find yourself very unhappy. It’s the same for the sex partners I choose.

Ultimately this lifestyle is fun with lots of fantasies and kinks, but just make sure in the process you’re not disrespecting others. You must balance it all out being grounded in a little reality.
Click to expand...
No.6 facts black folks ******* me with that ******* no mofo I have seen sexy Greeks Turks Italians Koreans Mexicans Russians Sri Lankan Arab women i wanted to fuck in my world travels
 
Kr1st1 said:
I have had a lot of sex 'without emotional involvement' when I was younger. I guess I've outgrown that because it really doesn't appeal to me anymore. I need the connection. I love falling asleep together, and being woke up erotically.

There's so much more to it now.
Click to expand...
When I was in my early 20s I tried to have sex with every girl I met. I was very successful.
Some girls I liked, others were just booty call. I was booty call for a couple of girls.
One older lady was married, she was 41 and cheating on her husband. She said she loved her hubby and family but loved having sex with me. Obviously I was only booty and we had no relationship. She had a smokin hot body, she was very classy and good looking.
Different girl my age, fugly, crooked teeth, great body. Had a boyfriend she loved. I was her late night booty call AFTER she'd been with her boyfriend. I was getting sloppy seconds for sure. She was a hot fuck. No dating or relationship at all.
I had absolutely no feelings for either of these women and they didn't for me.
 
Loridan said:
When I was in my early 20s I tried to have sex with every girl I met. I was very successful.
Some girls I liked, others were just booty call. I was booty call for a couple of girls.
One older lady was married, she was 41 and cheating on her husband. She said she loved her hubby and family but loved having sex with me. Obviously I was only booty and we had no relationship. She had a smokin hot body, she was very classy and good looking.
Different girl my age, fugly, crooked teeth, great body. Had a boyfriend she loved. I was her late night booty call AFTER she'd been with her boyfriend. I was getting sloppy seconds for sure. She was a hot fuck. No dating or relationship at all.
I had absolutely no feelings for either of these women and they didn't for me.
Click to expand...

I was 18-19 in college. My fiance was overseas for desert shield/storm. The guys that I was involved with were army guys in their 20s. There were five of them who lived in a big farm house just outside of the base. Any time I went to their house, it was expected. They just did whatever they wanted to. It was always constant, unrestrained, intense sex. Sometimes it was pretty rough. Definitely no 'relationship' with any of them, but I knew when I was there that I was safe, they wouldn't let anything actually harmful happen. I spent almost every weekend out there. During the week, a lot of times one of them would come to my dorm at night. It's been over 30 years and there's random clips that still stick in my mind as if they just happened.
 
bbcjaxxx said:
Long story short, I was an active bbc bull in the Lifestyle for over 15 years. Met another woman on sex site into the same kinks 2 years ago and now we’re happily married. Yes, she’s white woman.

My wife is open to sex with any race, but still prefers black men (bbc or not). Since I’ve been playing in the LS as a couple, I have a few gripes I wish others in LS would understand:

1. Stop assuming because a man lets his gf/wife fuck other men that he’s a cuck, sub, or bisexual. For example, I’m very straight and dominant.

2. Stop assuming that every man who lets his wife/gf be with other men it’s a turn on for him. I don’t allow my wife to screw other men because it gets me turned on nor does my dick get hard. I do it because I love her and also care about her needs. It’s to bring better balance/fairness into our relationship since I’m still an active bull satisfying other women. However she is bisexual and gets turned on when I’m with other women. We are 2 different people in this regard but communicate well to make it work.

3. Stop assuming that if a woman is wanting to fuck other men outside her relationship she is unhappy and not satisfied. Most of all stop thinking she’s possibly looking to leave her man for you lol. My wife gets all the good dick she wants from me. Others who know us say she’s very and lucky and spoiled (and that she is). My wife even says “I love being with other men, but they’re not you”. Some people just like to be others sexually for variety . Doesn’t mean their primary partner or spouse is lacking necessarily. I get it, majority of couples/women I used to meet it was the case. But over the years, it wasn’t all of them.

4. Some couples are more poly and are looking for something closer to a boyfriend for their hotwife or gf. Some are not looking for the emotional connection from bulls and just want a long term lover for the wife they can call every now and then. Finally there are couples who want just sex only from others (traditional swingers), they may or may not want to see you again…the wife is not dedicated to any one bull or group of bulls. She just likes to have fun with whoever when the opportunity arises or they may primarily only like to play at swingers clubs or swinger events. As a bull and lover, your job is to decipher what type of woman and couple you’re dealing with.

Multiple times already we’ve had men get too attached to my wife after sex (even sometimes before meeting) essentially trying to be her “boyfriend” and asking to take her out on dates and text her romantically. Not only as a bull is this reckless and disrespectful, but unprofessional. You must communicate with whoever you meet and make sure you’re into the same dynamic they are or at least willing to accept their terms. If being poly is a swinger couples thing, by all means be her bf. But if woman in a couple just wants sex then have self control and enough respect for their relationship to leave it at that.

5. Success in this lifestyle hangs on communication, trust and open honesty for both singles and couples. This is not a lifestyle where you just “wing it” and hope all works out for the best lol. This is also not a lifestyle to hide behind your secret kinks or perversions. Too many cucks try to use their women to get access to black dick easier, for example. Don’t be deceptive. Your life will be much smoother in the end when you properly communicate to your spouse and play partners what you exactly want.

6. Stop assuming because a black man is in relationship or married to white woman that all he likes are snowbunnies and pawgs. Most of us still find black women attractive too lol. As for me, i still love to fuck Latinas, Asians, Arab and Indian women. I don’t get with white women because I’m “ashamed to be black” or “I’m trying to get back at white men” or because I have some type of inferiority complex. If my white wife was in a Japanese body, I’d loved her just the same. I married because of chemistry, universal connections, and spiritual compatibility …not because of race. If you get with someone based off race alone you’re going to find yourself very unhappy. It’s the same for the sex partners I choose.

Ultimately this lifestyle is fun with lots of fantasies and kinks, but just make sure in the process you’re not disrespecting others. You must balance it all out being grounded in a little reality.
Click to expand...
You are right in everything you have written. I agree with you.
It is important to choose well and not disrespect others in the process. I like to talk to my black lover before going on a date because I want to be sure that he will respect the terms of the meeting.
 
CaludiaTA said:
You are right in everything you have written. I agree with you.
It is important to choose well and not disrespect others in the process. I like to talk to my black lover before going on a date because I want to be sure that he will respect the terms of the meeting.
Click to expand...
Agree! My wife meet her current Bull twice, no hook up, before going on a full playdate. She was looking for a long term "friend with benefits" arrangement and explained that she was not cheating but had my full support and encouragement.
 
bbcjaxxx said:
Long story short, I was an active bbc bull in the Lifestyle for over 15 years. Met another woman on sex site into the same kinks 2 years ago and now we’re happily married. Yes, she’s white woman.

My wife is open to sex with any race, but still prefers black men (bbc or not). Since I’ve been playing in the LS as a couple, I have a few gripes I wish others in LS would understand:

1. Stop assuming because a man lets his gf/wife fuck other men that he’s a cuck, sub, or bisexual. For example, I’m very straight and dominant.

2. Stop assuming that every man who lets his wife/gf be with other men it’s a turn on for him. I don’t allow my wife to screw other men because it gets me turned on nor does my dick get hard. I do it because I love her and also care about her needs. It’s to bring better balance/fairness into our relationship since I’m still an active bull satisfying other women. However she is bisexual and gets turned on when I’m with other women. We are 2 different people in this regard but communicate well to make it work.

3. Stop assuming that if a woman is wanting to fuck other men outside her relationship she is unhappy and not satisfied. Most of all stop thinking she’s possibly looking to leave her man for you lol. My wife gets all the good dick she wants from me. Others who know us say she’s very and lucky and spoiled (and that she is). My wife even says “I love being with other men, but they’re not you”. Some people just like to be others sexually for variety . Doesn’t mean their primary partner or spouse is lacking necessarily. I get it, majority of couples/women I used to meet it was the case. But over the years, it wasn’t all of them.

4. Some couples are more poly and are looking for something closer to a boyfriend for their hotwife or gf. Some are not looking for the emotional connection from bulls and just want a long term lover for the wife they can call every now and then. Finally there are couples who want just sex only from others (traditional swingers), they may or may not want to see you again…the wife is not dedicated to any one bull or group of bulls. She just likes to have fun with whoever when the opportunity arises or they may primarily only like to play at swingers clubs or swinger events. As a bull and lover, your job is to decipher what type of woman and couple you’re dealing with.

Multiple times already we’ve had men get too attached to my wife after sex (even sometimes before meeting) essentially trying to be her “boyfriend” and asking to take her out on dates and text her romantically. Not only as a bull is this reckless and disrespectful, but unprofessional. You must communicate with whoever you meet and make sure you’re into the same dynamic they are or at least willing to accept their terms. If being poly is a swinger couples thing, by all means be her bf. But if woman in a couple just wants sex then have self control and enough respect for their relationship to leave it at that.

5. Success in this lifestyle hangs on communication, trust and open honesty for both singles and couples. This is not a lifestyle where you just “wing it” and hope all works out for the best lol. This is also not a lifestyle to hide behind your secret kinks or perversions. Too many cucks try to use their women to get access to black dick easier, for example. Don’t be deceptive. Your life will be much smoother in the end when you properly communicate to your spouse and play partners what you exactly want.

6. Stop assuming because a black man is in relationship or married to white woman that all he likes are snowbunnies and pawgs. Most of us still find black women attractive too lol. As for me, i still love to fuck Latinas, Asians, Arab and Indian women. I don’t get with white women because I’m “ashamed to be black” or “I’m trying to get back at white men” or because I have some type of inferiority complex. If my white wife was in a Japanese body, I’d loved her just the same. I married because of chemistry, universal connections, and spiritual compatibility …not because of race. If you get with someone based off race alone you’re going to find yourself very unhappy. It’s the same for the sex partners I choose.

Ultimately this lifestyle is fun with lots of fantasies and kinks, but just make sure in the process you’re not disrespecting others. You must balance it all out being grounded in a little reality.
Click to expand...
Very well said
 
bbcjaxxx said:
Long story short, I was an active bbc bull in the Lifestyle for over 15 years. Met another woman on sex site into the same kinks 2 years ago and now we’re happily married. Yes, she’s white woman.

My wife is open to sex with any race, but still prefers black men (bbc or not). Since I’ve been playing in the LS as a couple, I have a few gripes I wish others in LS would understand:

1. Stop assuming because a man lets his gf/wife fuck other men that he’s a cuck, sub, or bisexual. For example, I’m very straight and dominant.

2. Stop assuming that every man who lets his wife/gf be with other men it’s a turn on for him. I don’t allow my wife to screw other men because it gets me turned on nor does my dick get hard. I do it because I love her and also care about her needs. It’s to bring better balance/fairness into our relationship since I’m still an active bull satisfying other women. However she is bisexual and gets turned on when I’m with other women. We are 2 different people in this regard but communicate well to make it work.

3. Stop assuming that if a woman is wanting to fuck other men outside her relationship she is unhappy and not satisfied. Most of all stop thinking she’s possibly looking to leave her man for you lol. My wife gets all the good dick she wants from me. Others who know us say she’s very and lucky and spoiled (and that she is). My wife even says “I love being with other men, but they’re not you”. Some people just like to be others sexually for variety . Doesn’t mean their primary partner or spouse is lacking necessarily. I get it, majority of couples/women I used to meet it was the case. But over the years, it wasn’t all of them.

4. Some couples are more poly and are looking for something closer to a boyfriend for their hotwife or gf. Some are not looking for the emotional connection from bulls and just want a long term lover for the wife they can call every now and then. Finally there are couples who want just sex only from others (traditional swingers), they may or may not want to see you again…the wife is not dedicated to any one bull or group of bulls. She just likes to have fun with whoever when the opportunity arises or they may primarily only like to play at swingers clubs or swinger events. As a bull and lover, your job is to decipher what type of woman and couple you’re dealing with.

Multiple times already we’ve had men get too attached to my wife after sex (even sometimes before meeting) essentially trying to be her “boyfriend” and asking to take her out on dates and text her romantically. Not only as a bull is this reckless and disrespectful, but unprofessional. You must communicate with whoever you meet and make sure you’re into the same dynamic they are or at least willing to accept their terms. If being poly is a swinger couples thing, by all means be her bf. But if woman in a couple just wants sex then have self control and enough respect for their relationship to leave it at that.

5. Success in this lifestyle hangs on communication, trust and open honesty for both singles and couples. This is not a lifestyle where you just “wing it” and hope all works out for the best lol. This is also not a lifestyle to hide behind your secret kinks or perversions. Too many cucks try to use their women to get access to black dick easier, for example. Don’t be deceptive. Your life will be much smoother in the end when you properly communicate to your spouse and play partners what you exactly want.

6. Stop assuming because a black man is in relationship or married to white woman that all he likes are snowbunnies and pawgs. Most of us still find black women attractive too lol. As for me, i still love to fuck Latinas, Asians, Arab and Indian women. I don’t get with white women because I’m “ashamed to be black” or “I’m trying to get back at white men” or because I have some type of inferiority complex. If my white wife was in a Japanese body, I’d loved her just the same. I married because of chemistry, universal connections, and spiritual compatibility …not because of race. If you get with someone based off race alone you’re going to find yourself very unhappy. It’s the same for the sex partners I choose.

Ultimately this lifestyle is fun with lots of fantasies and kinks, but just make sure in the process you’re not disrespecting others. You must balance it all out being grounded in a little reality.
Click to expand...
Very well said. Just like every person is different, so is every couple. What they want and need and desire. Never assume anything. Meet people with a clean slate, get to know each other and get to know if you are compatible. Remember to bring out your "gentleman" in the streets, "badboy" in the sheets personality and know that regardless of the dynamic, if you aren't making the husband happy, you probably won't get your chance with the wife with many couples. Again, feel it out. Get to know each one.
 
bbcjaxxx said:
Long story short, I was an active bbc bull in the Lifestyle for over 15 years. Met another woman on sex site into the same kinks 2 years ago and now we’re happily married. Yes, she’s white woman.

My wife is open to sex with any race, but still prefers black men (bbc or not). Since I’ve been playing in the LS as a couple, I have a few gripes I wish others in LS would understand:

1. Stop assuming because a man lets his gf/wife fuck other men that he’s a cuck, sub, or bisexual. For example, I’m very straight and dominant.

2. Stop assuming that every man who lets his wife/gf be with other men it’s a turn on for him. I don’t allow my wife to screw other men because it gets me turned on nor does my dick get hard. I do it because I love her and also care about her needs. It’s to bring better balance/fairness into our relationship since I’m still an active bull satisfying other women. However she is bisexual and gets turned on when I’m with other women. We are 2 different people in this regard but communicate well to make it work.

3. Stop assuming that if a woman is wanting to fuck other men outside her relationship she is unhappy and not satisfied. Most of all stop thinking she’s possibly looking to leave her man for you lol. My wife gets all the good dick she wants from me. Others who know us say she’s very and lucky and spoiled (and that she is). My wife even says “I love being with other men, but they’re not you”. Some people just like to be others sexually for variety . Doesn’t mean their primary partner or spouse is lacking necessarily. I get it, majority of couples/women I used to meet it was the case. But over the years, it wasn’t all of them.

4. Some couples are more poly and are looking for something closer to a boyfriend for their hotwife or gf. Some are not looking for the emotional connection from bulls and just want a long term lover for the wife they can call every now and then. Finally there are couples who want just sex only from others (traditional swingers), they may or may not want to see you again…the wife is not dedicated to any one bull or group of bulls. She just likes to have fun with whoever when the opportunity arises or they may primarily only like to play at swingers clubs or swinger events. As a bull and lover, your job is to decipher what type of woman and couple you’re dealing with.

Multiple times already we’ve had men get too attached to my wife after sex (even sometimes before meeting) essentially trying to be her “boyfriend” and asking to take her out on dates and text her romantically. Not only as a bull is this reckless and disrespectful, but unprofessional. You must communicate with whoever you meet and make sure you’re into the same dynamic they are or at least willing to accept their terms. If being poly is a swinger couples thing, by all means be her bf. But if woman in a couple just wants sex then have self control and enough respect for their relationship to leave it at that.

5. Success in this lifestyle hangs on communication, trust and open honesty for both singles and couples. This is not a lifestyle where you just “wing it” and hope all works out for the best lol. This is also not a lifestyle to hide behind your secret kinks or perversions. Too many cucks try to use their women to get access to black dick easier, for example. Don’t be deceptive. Your life will be much smoother in the end when you properly communicate to your spouse and play partners what you exactly want.

6. Stop assuming because a black man is in relationship or married to white woman that all he likes are snowbunnies and pawgs. Most of us still find black women attractive too lol. As for me, i still love to fuck Latinas, Asians, Arab and Indian women. I don’t get with white women because I’m “ashamed to be black” or “I’m trying to get back at white men” or because I have some type of inferiority complex. If my white wife was in a Japanese body, I’d loved her just the same. I married because of chemistry, universal connections, and spiritual compatibility …not because of race. If you get with someone based off race alone you’re going to find yourself very unhappy. It’s the same for the sex partners I choose.

Ultimately this lifestyle is fun with lots of fantasies and kinks, but just make sure in the process you’re not disrespecting others. You must balance it all out being grounded in a little reality.
Click to expand...
Well said.

In regards to

#1 Don't assume. Read our profile or ask if it's not clear enough for you.

#2 Yes, it's a turn on for both of us. That is quite possibly 75% of our motivation.

#3 ABSOLUTELY. My husband completely satisfies me and I'd be completely happy never letting another man touch me. We are completely in love and have a rock solid relationship or we wouldn't be in this lifestyle. That's just us though.

#4 We're not seeking a romantic relationship with anyone else. We've got that already in each other. Please assume anything will be a one time thing, unless you discuss, explicitly, prior with us and we've come to some agreement. Assume we will not have any opinion on this matter until after our first intimate experience together with you. How else would we know? You can ask after a time, and just be fully prepared for it to be a one time thing. Not as an insult to you, but we may just not feel a vibe that's asking for a repeat performance. Please also let us know if YOU are absolutely certain you want this to be a one time thing only. It's cool, it's just nice to know in advance. We promise it won't lessen your chances.

#5 The first part of this, is our most important foundation for this facet of our relationship. Communication is key. We communicate 100% about everything. Not one text, sentence or emotion without sharing with each other. That's a huge part of the excitement for us.

#6 My husband plays too. He's more attracted to specific features and personality than solely one race. If you happen to be married and your wife wants to play as well, don't be shy about speaking up. Keep in mind it is largely personality based and we share and discuss everything. Don't expect an answer in under 30 seconds on this one.
 
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