I hate my addiction, advice?

Hello,
I'm not sure if i'm in the good place to speak about that, i don't want to be intolerant or something, what i will say is 100% truth :

PRESENTATION
first of all, i'm french so, sorry if my english is not perfect.​
i've 30 years old.​
i'm 1.88 and 100kg, i do alot of musculation, for most of girls i look like "alpha".​
my penis is 19cm (and pretty large, most girls i had also tell that i have a "black dick" no joke).​
So that's for the presentation, the idea is that i really look like alpha male...​


NOW HERE IS MY STORY :
Since my 14 i started to masturbate on 2 things => cuckold IR and shemales.​
this is my 2 addictions, the proportion is 70% cuckold and 30% shemales.​
i'm totally hooked guys, i tryed to have shemale girlfriend (at tinder) at multiples times. I saw them (but they were ugly in face to face).​
i fucked 2 shemales ******* in my life (while i was in couple...i know i'm bad, but i used condom of course) and i LOVED IT. first time at 26 years, the last time at 28 years.​

AT THE SAME TIME :
With girls, i had alot girlfriends in my life. The first time we fuck is ok, but really really fast i need to imagine that she is a black owned slut to cum, or it's impossible.​
I can fuck a girl like 2 hours without cuming if i not think about black dicks...​
I had a blonde girlfirend at 24 years old, not the most sexy (not bad), but she was a black cock slut (i was the first white she fucked), i let you imagine how it was in my head when i fucked her...​

And now, to cum, i ALWAYS think about this blonde girl, i close my eyes when i fuck a girl, and i think about this blonde, fucked by alot of black mens, full of cum, me sloppy second ...

Guys i'm totally hooked, i never seen a white dick in a porn with a girl, since my 15 years old, it's desguisting for me (however i can jack off with a white guy fucking a shemale, for me it's ok...It's like in my fucked brain a white guy can't fuck a white girl anymore but is allowed to fuck a shemale....).

I think about this lifestyle everyday, when i encounter a girl i always try to know (with some skilled questions) if she like black man or if she ever get fucked by a black man.

it's very important for me, this lifestyle is devouring my brain, i love it so much you can't even imagine...I mean, i guess you can because you are into...

SO
-has i said, i'm 30, i'm not ugly, but i can't cum without imagining my girlfriends fucked by a black OR i think always about my ex blonde who was BBC whore, and i cum.
-i always try to know if my girlfriend was a bbc whore before me.

The reason of my post here, no offense guys, but :

I HATE IT​

I mean, of course i love it, of course i would love to be with a sexy white blonde queen of spades who cheats me with all the blacks of the city, i want to raise mixed childs, i want [...] Of course i love this fetish.

BUT for me, it's like a *******, a desease, i know it's not normal (we can't lie guys, licking the seed of a black man out of a pussy is not normal) and i want to clean my brain.
I want to be able to cum with a sexy girl without the need of imagining her fucked by black mens.
I want to have a normal life.
Because has i said this is like a *******, it's a pure pleasure but it's destroyin my life : my relationships with girls; my libido...Sometimes i don't even cum with my girlfriend and when i go back home, i can cum in 10mins watching IR cuckold porn...I need to change.

EDIT : sorry i missclicked
So please do you have any advice? does some guys here did a 180 degree turn over? What shall i do to clean my brain? I respect all guys who love it (i'm into it too since my 14, at 100%) but i need to move out, it's not the way of life i want if i think seriously without excitation....
I need help and advice to be normal please.

thanks for the time.
 
Last edited:
Hello,
I'm not sure if i'm in the good place to speak about that, i don't want to be intolerant or something, what i will say is 100% truth :

PRESENTATION
first of all, i'm french so, sorry if my english is not perfect.​
i've 30 years old.​
i'm 1.88 and 100kg, i do alot of musculation, for most of girls i look like "alpha".​
my penis is 19cm (and pretty large, most girls i had also tell that i have a "black dick" no joke).​
So that's for the presentation, the idea is that i really look like alpha male...​


NOW HERE IS MY STORY :
Since my 14 i started to masturbate on 2 things => cuckold IR and shemales.​
this is my 2 addictions, the proportion is 70% cuckold and 30% shemales.​
i'm totally hooked guys, i tryed to have shemale girlfriend (at tinder) at multiples times. I saw them (but they were ugly in face to face).​
i fucked 2 shemales ******* in my life (while i was in couple...i know i'm bad, but i used condom of course) and i LOVED IT. first time at 26 years, the last time at 28 years.​

AT THE SAME TIME :
With girls, i had alot girlfriends in my life. The first time we fuck is ok, but really really fast i need to imagine that she is a black owned slut to cum, or it's impossible.​
I can fuck a girl like 2 hours without cuming if i not think about black dicks...​
I had a blonde girlfirend at 24 years old, not the most sexy (not bad), but she was a black cock slut (i was the first white she fucked), i let you imagine how it was in my head when i fucked her...​

And now, to cum, i ALWAYS think about this blonde girl, i close my eyes when i fuck a girl, and i think about this blonde, fucked by alot of black mens, full of cum, me sloppy second ...

Guys i'm totally hooked, i never seen a white dick in a porn with a girl, since my 15 years old, it's desguisting for me (however i can jack off with a white guy fucking a shemale, for me it's ok...It's like in my fucked brain a white guy can't fuck a white girl anymore but is allowed to fuck a shemale....).

I think about this lifestyle everyday, when i encounter a girl i always try to know (with some skilled questions) if she like black man or if she ever get fucked by a black man.

it's very important for me, this lifestyle is devouring my brain, i love it so much you can't even imagine...I mean, i guess you can because you are into...

SO
-has i said, i'm 30, i'm not ugly, but i can't cum without imagining my girlfriends fucked by a black OR i think always about my ex blonde who was BBC whore, and i cum.
-i always try to know if my girlfriend was a bbc whore before me.

The reason of my post here, no offense guys, but :

I HATE IT​

I mean, of course i love it, of course i would love to be with a sexy white blonde queen of spades who cheats me with all the blacks of the city, i want to raise mixed childs, i want [...] Of course i love this fetish.

BUT for me, it's like a *******, a desease, i know it's not normal (we can't lie guys, licking the seed of a black man out of a pussy is not normal) and i want to clean my brain.
I want to be able to cum with a sexy girl without the need of imagining her fucked by black mens.
I want to have a normal life.
Because has i said this is like a *******, it's a pure pleasure but it's destroyin my life : my relationships with girls; my libido...Sometimes i don't even cum with my girlfriend and when i go back home, i can cum in 10mins watching IR cuckold porn...I need to change.

EDIT : sorry i missclicked
So please do you have any advice? does some guys here did a 180 degree turn over? What shall i do to clean my brain? I respect all guys who love it (i'm into it too since my 14, at 100%) but i need to move out, it's not the way of life i want if i think seriously without excitation....
I need help and advice to be normal please.

thanks for the time.
Look, this website and porn in general are exaggerated and are made to capture people like you, sadly as I'm sure you've seen there are plenty of brainwashed idiots on this site, but it's all horseshit, the best advice I can give you is this, understand that Asian, Black or White guys can all have big or small Dick's, they can all be alpha or beta, what you need to do is start getting better and more sleep, focus on building your body as you apparently already do, focus on getting the best career you can, and avoid porn at all costs, take up hobbies, do anything to fill that addiction with something less damaging, then once you are confident in yourself you will be able to be with a woman that and have a good time with her, fulfilling quality relationships cannot exist when porn is involved.
 
The personality are made in layers.

When you're having the temptations, by images or voices, you must interact in a way that the strong part inside of you go there and remove the other you from there. You fight in your mind.

Then you must rebuild your imaginary about courtship, sex, etc.

I tried exercices, going to bed earlier, paying penances (very cold shower, winhoff method, etc).

That started one day after watching pornography and after I asked God what was wrong about a thing that brings good pleasure.

At the night He showed one devil watching pornography with me, by my side. In the same dream another devil, an invisible, was going through the mind, bringing counfused thoughts, forgetfulness and schizophrenia, troubles that I was starting to have.

The BDSM and others kinks are the forbidden apples that Adam didn't know at the time (But Solomon and maybe Lillith did), they all lead to the devil himself. He may watch or participate.

Sometimes I stay 30, 60 and even 90 days clean; when I study or work too much I fall, then I try hard and stop again. Started very early age.

Today I nearly fell, but I'll be strong. Nothing will dominate me.

That's my two cents.
 
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I wish you luck brother.
You have a mountain 🏔️ to climb, as would we all.
Personally I don't think that I could ever stop thinking of IR sex. Although I remember my very first sexual experience was my friend and I playing with each others cocks behind the sofa whilst we had a magazine with blonde girls in bikinis. But soon as I started to notice black cock at school, it started to grow from there. When I fuck white girls I always imagine a Black man doing her and I Will cum. But if I'm with a Black girl or a white male I don't have to think about BBC.
Obviously if I'm with a black man.....!
Anyway I digress, My advice if you don't want to embrace your predelictions
is to ******* yourself not to think about IR. Certainly don't view any IR porn's, inc
BTW. Keep yourself really busy, work exercise, Call of duty, Candy crush etc.
I think most of us here will hope you get over your addiction and admire your will to conquer it.
♥️
 
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Hello,
I'm not sure if i'm in the good place to speak about that, i don't want to be intolerant or something, what i will say is 100% truth :

PRESENTATION
first of all, i'm french so, sorry if my english is not perfect.​
i've 30 years old.​
i'm 1.88 and 100kg, i do alot of musculation, for most of girls i look like "alpha".​
my penis is 19cm (and pretty large, most girls i had also tell that i have a "black dick" no joke).​
So that's for the presentation, the idea is that i really look like alpha male...​


NOW HERE IS MY STORY :
Since my 14 i started to masturbate on 2 things => cuckold IR and shemales.​
this is my 2 addictions, the proportion is 70% cuckold and 30% shemales.​
i'm totally hooked guys, i tryed to have shemale girlfriend (at tinder) at multiples times. I saw them (but they were ugly in face to face).​
i fucked 2 shemales ******* in my life (while i was in couple...i know i'm bad, but i used condom of course) and i LOVED IT. first time at 26 years, the last time at 28 years.​

AT THE SAME TIME :
With girls, i had alot girlfriends in my life. The first time we fuck is ok, but really really fast i need to imagine that she is a black owned slut to cum, or it's impossible.​
I can fuck a girl like 2 hours without cuming if i not think about black dicks...​
I had a blonde girlfirend at 24 years old, not the most sexy (not bad), but she was a black cock slut (i was the first white she fucked), i let you imagine how it was in my head when i fucked her...​

And now, to cum, i ALWAYS think about this blonde girl, i close my eyes when i fuck a girl, and i think about this blonde, fucked by alot of black mens, full of cum, me sloppy second ...

Guys i'm totally hooked, i never seen a white dick in a porn with a girl, since my 15 years old, it's desguisting for me (however i can jack off with a white guy fucking a shemale, for me it's ok...It's like in my fucked brain a white guy can't fuck a white girl anymore but is allowed to fuck a shemale....).

I think about this lifestyle everyday, when i encounter a girl i always try to know (with some skilled questions) if she like black man or if she ever get fucked by a black man.

it's very important for me, this lifestyle is devouring my brain, i love it so much you can't even imagine...I mean, i guess you can because you are into...

SO
-has i said, i'm 30, i'm not ugly, but i can't cum without imagining my girlfriends fucked by a black OR i think always about my ex blonde who was BBC whore, and i cum.
-i always try to know if my girlfriend was a bbc whore before me.

The reason of my post here, no offense guys, but :

I HATE IT​

I mean, of course i love it, of course i would love to be with a sexy white blonde queen of spades who cheats me with all the blacks of the city, i want to raise mixed childs, i want [...] Of course i love this fetish.

BUT for me, it's like a *******, a desease, i know it's not normal (we can't lie guys, licking the seed of a black man out of a pussy is not normal) and i want to clean my brain.
I want to be able to cum with a sexy girl without the need of imagining her fucked by black mens.
I want to have a normal life.
Because has i said this is like a *******, it's a pure pleasure but it's destroyin my life : my relationships with girls; my libido...Sometimes i don't even cum with my girlfriend and when i go back home, i can cum in 10mins watching IR cuckold porn...I need to change.

EDIT : sorry i missclicked
So please do you have any advice? does some guys here did a 180 degree turn over? What shall i do to clean my brain? I respect all guys who love it (i'm into it too since my 14, at 100%) but i need to move out, it's not the way of life i want if i think seriously without excitation....
I need help and advice to be normal please.

thanks for the time.
Porn emasculates men. Period. That’s what it’s designed to do.
 
Hello,
I'm not sure if i'm in the good place to speak about that, i don't want to be intolerant or something, what i will say is 100% truth :

PRESENTATION
first of all, i'm french so, sorry if my english is not perfect.​
i've 30 years old.​
i'm 1.88 and 100kg, i do alot of musculation, for most of girls i look like "alpha".​
my penis is 19cm (and pretty large, most girls i had also tell that i have a "black dick" no joke).​
So that's for the presentation, the idea is that i really look like alpha male...​


NOW HERE IS MY STORY :
Since my 14 i started to masturbate on 2 things => cuckold IR and shemales.​
this is my 2 addictions, the proportion is 70% cuckold and 30% shemales.​
i'm totally hooked guys, i tryed to have shemale girlfriend (at tinder) at multiples times. I saw them (but they were ugly in face to face).​
i fucked 2 shemales ******* in my life (while i was in couple...i know i'm bad, but i used condom of course) and i LOVED IT. first time at 26 years, the last time at 28 years.​

AT THE SAME TIME :
With girls, i had alot girlfriends in my life. The first time we fuck is ok, but really really fast i need to imagine that she is a black owned slut to cum, or it's impossible.​
I can fuck a girl like 2 hours without cuming if i not think about black dicks...​
I had a blonde girlfirend at 24 years old, not the most sexy (not bad), but she was a black cock slut (i was the first white she fucked), i let you imagine how it was in my head when i fucked her...​

And now, to cum, i ALWAYS think about this blonde girl, i close my eyes when i fuck a girl, and i think about this blonde, fucked by alot of black mens, full of cum, me sloppy second ...

Guys i'm totally hooked, i never seen a white dick in a porn with a girl, since my 15 years old, it's desguisting for me (however i can jack off with a white guy fucking a shemale, for me it's ok...It's like in my fucked brain a white guy can't fuck a white girl anymore but is allowed to fuck a shemale....).

I think about this lifestyle everyday, when i encounter a girl i always try to know (with some skilled questions) if she like black man or if she ever get fucked by a black man.

it's very important for me, this lifestyle is devouring my brain, i love it so much you can't even imagine...I mean, i guess you can because you are into...

SO
-has i said, i'm 30, i'm not ugly, but i can't cum without imagining my girlfriends fucked by a black OR i think always about my ex blonde who was BBC whore, and i cum.
-i always try to know if my girlfriend was a bbc whore before me.

The reason of my post here, no offense guys, but :

I HATE IT​

I mean, of course i love it, of course i would love to be with a sexy white blonde queen of spades who cheats me with all the blacks of the city, i want to raise mixed childs, i want [...] Of course i love this fetish.

BUT for me, it's like a *******, a desease, i know it's not normal (we can't lie guys, licking the seed of a black man out of a pussy is not normal) and i want to clean my brain.
I want to be able to cum with a sexy girl without the need of imagining her fucked by black mens.
I want to have a normal life.
Because has i said this is like a *******, it's a pure pleasure but it's destroyin my life : my relationships with girls; my libido...Sometimes i don't even cum with my girlfriend and when i go back home, i can cum in 10mins watching IR cuckold porn...I need to change.

EDIT : sorry i missclicked
So please do you have any advice? does some guys here did a 180 degree turn over? What shall i do to clean my brain? I respect all guys who love it (i'm into it too since my 14, at 100%) but i need to move out, it's not the way of life i want if i think seriously without excitation....
I need help and advice to be normal please.

thanks for the time.
Same here mate, feel you... Addicted to it. somehow love it and somehow hate it
 
I understand this is not the advice you're looking for, but you're trying to hard to fit into what mainstream society deems as 'normal'. Maybe if you actually got to indulge yourself into the fantasies this one time you could be done and dusted with it all and it wouldn't bother you again. Or, who knows if you might discover true happiness living the lifestyle.

But if you really do want to get rid of it, forums like these won't be able to give you solutions. We ain't professionals nor do we know enough about your upbringing to truly understand your psyche. I'd recommend consulting with therapists.
 
I understand this is not the advice you're looking for, but you're trying to hard to fit into what mainstream society deems as 'normal'. Maybe if you actually got to indulge yourself into the fantasies this one time you could be done and dusted with it all and it wouldn't bother you again. Or, who knows if you might discover true happiness living the lifestyle.

But if you really do want to get rid of it, forums like these won't be able to give you solutions. We ain't professionals nor do we know enough about your upbringing to truly understand your psyche. I'd recommend consulting with therapists.

I agree. You will not find the help you need here. You need to consult a therapist. Only a professional can give you the help you need.
 
Hello,
I'm not sure if i'm in the good place to speak about that, i don't want to be intolerant or something, what i will say is 100% truth :

PRESENTATION
first of all, i'm french so, sorry if my english is not perfect.​
i've 30 years old.​
i'm 1.88 and 100kg, i do alot of musculation, for most of girls i look like "alpha".​
my penis is 19cm (and pretty large, most girls i had also tell that i have a "black dick" no joke).​
So that's for the presentation, the idea is that i really look like alpha male...​


NOW HERE IS MY STORY :
Since my 14 i started to masturbate on 2 things => cuckold IR and shemales.​
this is my 2 addictions, the proportion is 70% cuckold and 30% shemales.​
i'm totally hooked guys, i tryed to have shemale girlfriend (at tinder) at multiples times. I saw them (but they were ugly in face to face).​
i fucked 2 shemales ******* in my life (while i was in couple...i know i'm bad, but i used condom of course) and i LOVED IT. first time at 26 years, the last time at 28 years.​

AT THE SAME TIME :
With girls, i had alot girlfriends in my life. The first time we fuck is ok, but really really fast i need to imagine that she is a black owned slut to cum, or it's impossible.​
I can fuck a girl like 2 hours without cuming if i not think about black dicks...​
I had a blonde girlfirend at 24 years old, not the most sexy (not bad), but she was a black cock slut (i was the first white she fucked), i let you imagine how it was in my head when i fucked her...​

And now, to cum, i ALWAYS think about this blonde girl, i close my eyes when i fuck a girl, and i think about this blonde, fucked by alot of black mens, full of cum, me sloppy second ...

Guys i'm totally hooked, i never seen a white dick in a porn with a girl, since my 15 years old, it's desguisting for me (however i can jack off with a white guy fucking a shemale, for me it's ok...It's like in my fucked brain a white guy can't fuck a white girl anymore but is allowed to fuck a shemale....).

I think about this lifestyle everyday, when i encounter a girl i always try to know (with some skilled questions) if she like black man or if she ever get fucked by a black man.

it's very important for me, this lifestyle is devouring my brain, i love it so much you can't even imagine...I mean, i guess you can because you are into...

SO
-has i said, i'm 30, i'm not ugly, but i can't cum without imagining my girlfriends fucked by a black OR i think always about my ex blonde who was BBC whore, and i cum.
-i always try to know if my girlfriend was a bbc whore before me.

The reason of my post here, no offense guys, but :

I HATE IT​

I mean, of course i love it, of course i would love to be with a sexy white blonde queen of spades who cheats me with all the blacks of the city, i want to raise mixed childs, i want [...] Of course i love this fetish.

BUT for me, it's like a *******, a desease, i know it's not normal (we can't lie guys, licking the seed of a black man out of a pussy is not normal) and i want to clean my brain.
I want to be able to cum with a sexy girl without the need of imagining her fucked by black mens.
I want to have a normal life.
Because has i said this is like a *******, it's a pure pleasure but it's destroyin my life : my relationships with girls; my libido...Sometimes i don't even cum with my girlfriend and when i go back home, i can cum in 10mins watching IR cuckold porn...I need to change.

EDIT : sorry i missclicked
So please do you have any advice? does some guys here did a 180 degree turn over? What shall i do to clean my brain? I respect all guys who love it (i'm into it too since my 14, at 100%) but i need to move out, it's not the way of life i want if i think seriously without excitation....
I need help and advice to be normal please.

thanks for the time.
I am very similar to you. Im 60 but been addicted since i was 16 not going to change now and dont want to ever change.
 
Hello,
I'm not sure if i'm in the good place to speak about that, i don't want to be intolerant or something, what i will say is 100% truth :

PRESENTATION
first of all, i'm french so, sorry if my english is not perfect.​
i've 30 years old.​
i'm 1.88 and 100kg, i do alot of musculation, for most of girls i look like "alpha".​
my penis is 19cm (and pretty large, most girls i had also tell that i have a "black dick" no joke).​
So that's for the presentation, the idea is that i really look like alpha male...​


NOW HERE IS MY STORY :
Since my 14 i started to masturbate on 2 things => cuckold IR and shemales.​
this is my 2 addictions, the proportion is 70% cuckold and 30% shemales.​
i'm totally hooked guys, i tryed to have shemale girlfriend (at tinder) at multiples times. I saw them (but they were ugly in face to face).​
i fucked 2 shemales ******* in my life (while i was in couple...i know i'm bad, but i used condom of course) and i LOVED IT. first time at 26 years, the last time at 28 years.​

AT THE SAME TIME :
With girls, i had alot girlfriends in my life. The first time we fuck is ok, but really really fast i need to imagine that she is a black owned slut to cum, or it's impossible.​
I can fuck a girl like 2 hours without cuming if i not think about black dicks...​
I had a blonde girlfirend at 24 years old, not the most sexy (not bad), but she was a black cock slut (i was the first white she fucked), i let you imagine how it was in my head when i fucked her...​

And now, to cum, i ALWAYS think about this blonde girl, i close my eyes when i fuck a girl, and i think about this blonde, fucked by alot of black mens, full of cum, me sloppy second ...

Guys i'm totally hooked, i never seen a white dick in a porn with a girl, since my 15 years old, it's desguisting for me (however i can jack off with a white guy fucking a shemale, for me it's ok...It's like in my fucked brain a white guy can't fuck a white girl anymore but is allowed to fuck a shemale....).

I think about this lifestyle everyday, when i encounter a girl i always try to know (with some skilled questions) if she like black man or if she ever get fucked by a black man.

it's very important for me, this lifestyle is devouring my brain, i love it so much you can't even imagine...I mean, i guess you can because you are into...

SO
-has i said, i'm 30, i'm not ugly, but i can't cum without imagining my girlfriends fucked by a black OR i think always about my ex blonde who was BBC whore, and i cum.
-i always try to know if my girlfriend was a bbc whore before me.

The reason of my post here, no offense guys, but :

I HATE IT​

I mean, of course i love it, of course i would love to be with a sexy white blonde queen of spades who cheats me with all the blacks of the city, i want to raise mixed childs, i want [...] Of course i love this fetish.

BUT for me, it's like a *******, a desease, i know it's not normal (we can't lie guys, licking the seed of a black man out of a pussy is not normal) and i want to clean my brain.
I want to be able to cum with a sexy girl without the need of imagining her fucked by black mens.
I want to have a normal life.
Because has i said this is like a *******, it's a pure pleasure but it's destroyin my life : my relationships with girls; my libido...Sometimes i don't even cum with my girlfriend and when i go back home, i can cum in 10mins watching IR cuckold porn...I need to change.

EDIT : sorry i missclicked
So please do you have any advice? does some guys here did a 180 degree turn over? What shall i do to clean my brain? I respect all guys who love it (i'm into it too since my 14, at 100%) but i need to move out, it's not the way of life i want if i think seriously without excitation....
I need help and advice to be normal please.

thanks for the time.
Don't know, if it is a troll post or not, but if it's not, well you are war from being alone.

As someone who is also of relatively good (or at least OK) looks, relatively well built and decent sized in the lower department I also think some types of porn have increased my sub and fetishist tendencies (although I know pretty well that they existed before porn too).

Also agree with other posters that you probably won't get a lot of useful advice here, too many gooners on site like this.

So if you've had sub/cuck/whatever fantasy (as the problem isn't specific to IR porn) since you were a teen, it probably won't get away - porn reinforced something you were predisposed to already. Otherwise you wouldn't not have become so obsessed with it.

Not exactly an advice, but I stumbled on a very good point some time ago in a video where a sexologist was interviewed. His point was something like "if kinks and fetishes excite you that's fine as such, if something gets you hard it is not a problem. You have a problem if you can't get hard WITHOUT. Even more so if it gets in the way of everyday life".

I think it is a good point to think about, and it gave me some homework to do. Although I still do come here and write this post for example (and sometimes post pics) I certainly don't spend nearly as much time watching porn of any kind compared to a year ago.

Then, the advice would be the same as from others above, just to get busy and focus more on other things going in your life, work, hobbies, friends, potential romantic prospects, etc.

You may be also interested in looking into how porn effects the brain's reward system.

Also, going cold turkey didn't work for me, but besides limiting my time spent on it, i kind of changed the type of porn i look at, less raw and dirty and more erotica kind of stuff. This also helped.

Good luck
 
Hello,
I'm not sure if i'm in the good place to speak about that, i don't want to be intolerant or something, what i will say is 100% truth :

PRESENTATION
first of all, i'm french so, sorry if my english is not perfect.​
i've 30 years old.​
i'm 1.88 and 100kg, i do alot of musculation, for most of girls i look like "alpha".​
my penis is 19cm (and pretty large, most girls i had also tell that i have a "black dick" no joke).​
So that's for the presentation, the idea is that i really look like alpha male...​


NOW HERE IS MY STORY :
Since my 14 i started to masturbate on 2 things => cuckold IR and shemales.​
this is my 2 addictions, the proportion is 70% cuckold and 30% shemales.​
i'm totally hooked guys, i tryed to have shemale girlfriend (at tinder) at multiples times. I saw them (but they were ugly in face to face).​
i fucked 2 shemales ******* in my life (while i was in couple...i know i'm bad, but i used condom of course) and i LOVED IT. first time at 26 years, the last time at 28 years.​

AT THE SAME TIME :
With girls, i had alot girlfriends in my life. The first time we fuck is ok, but really really fast i need to imagine that she is a black owned slut to cum, or it's impossible.​
I can fuck a girl like 2 hours without cuming if i not think about black dicks...​
I had a blonde girlfirend at 24 years old, not the most sexy (not bad), but she was a black cock slut (i was the first white she fucked), i let you imagine how it was in my head when i fucked her...​

And now, to cum, i ALWAYS think about this blonde girl, i close my eyes when i fuck a girl, and i think about this blonde, fucked by alot of black mens, full of cum, me sloppy second ...

Guys i'm totally hooked, i never seen a white dick in a porn with a girl, since my 15 years old, it's desguisting for me (however i can jack off with a white guy fucking a shemale, for me it's ok...It's like in my fucked brain a white guy can't fuck a white girl anymore but is allowed to fuck a shemale....).

I think about this lifestyle everyday, when i encounter a girl i always try to know (with some skilled questions) if she like black man or if she ever get fucked by a black man.

it's very important for me, this lifestyle is devouring my brain, i love it so much you can't even imagine...I mean, i guess you can because you are into...

SO
-has i said, i'm 30, i'm not ugly, but i can't cum without imagining my girlfriends fucked by a black OR i think always about my ex blonde who was BBC whore, and i cum.
-i always try to know if my girlfriend was a bbc whore before me.

The reason of my post here, no offense guys, but :

I HATE IT​

I mean, of course i love it, of course i would love to be with a sexy white blonde queen of spades who cheats me with all the blacks of the city, i want to raise mixed childs, i want [...] Of course i love this fetish.

BUT for me, it's like a *******, a desease, i know it's not normal (we can't lie guys, licking the seed of a black man out of a pussy is not normal) and i want to clean my brain.
I want to be able to cum with a sexy girl without the need of imagining her fucked by black mens.
I want to have a normal life.
Because has i said this is like a *******, it's a pure pleasure but it's destroyin my life : my relationships with girls; my libido...Sometimes i don't even cum with my girlfriend and when i go back home, i can cum in 10mins watching IR cuckold porn...I need to change.

EDIT : sorry i missclicked
So please do you have any advice? does some guys here did a 180 degree turn over? What shall i do to clean my brain? I respect all guys who love it (i'm into it too since my 14, at 100%) but i need to move out, it's not the way of life i want if i think seriously without excitation....
I need help and advice to be normal please.

thanks for the time.
Embrace the truth and accept yourself, you hate the fact you love it because you are jealous you aren't the one being plowed by that bbc, you wish you were th woman getting your holes filled and the harse reality that the bulk of hung bbc bulls are way straight( which btw you guys is fucking homophobic as fuck letting a cuckold suck your cock is not only not gay ion your part it's an outright absolute punch in the face annd humiliating for them, enjoy that power] and you are getting upset because your aren't able to.paticipate. bi bbc bulls exist, search. My ex's addiction turned out to be that bbc pounding a pussy often made the woman make real moans and screams that he could tell were faked in other types of porn. After he became aware of that he stopped really caring.
 
I agree, I fought it since I was 16 or so and finally later on in life gave in, discussed it with the wife and have been living the life I desire thanks to her understanding and sexual drive ever since. I’ve never been happier since the day I finally fully embraced who I am sexually. I’m a cuckold, I love to watch, I don’t think there is anything more sexy and beautiful than a white woman in love with her white man but absolutely loves and is a complete total slut for black cock and can own that just like the husband owns the joys of being her cuckold. I know I’m also bisexual as I love looking at pussy but a big black cock is just as much a turn on to me! I think BBC’s are beautiful and one of gods great masterpieces and watching my wife worship them and being invited in to worship one with her myself, it makes my little inferior white dick hard as can possibly be just typing that and thinking about it. Nothing I have ever been able to do to try and block being turned on by all of this has ever worked which is why I finally bit the bullet, discussed with the wife if she would be willing to let me watch and after months of discussions and reassurances, convinced her to start fucking other men for our (mine and her) pleasure. At first it was a mix, mostly white men but quickly it converted to only black men a d has evolved now to what I craved and wanted all my sexual life, true cuckolding with humiliation, chastity, recruitment of her friends to bbc, being cut off from certain sexual pleasures....for me blowjobs, I love the fact she hasn’t sucked a white dick including mine in many, many years but know weekly, she sucks one of her bulls black cocks really, really good! Also, I’m very oral and love eating her pussy but even more so now knowing how naughty that pussy is, that’s a mental turn on and that pussy has never been more delicious by sight, smell and taste than right after it’s had a good fucking and been filled with several bbc loads and she stands over my face and squats down to give me a glorious treat! I never knew creampied pussy could be so good but it’s the best pussy ever by far!

my only regret sexually in life is suppressing my true sexual desires for so long, if I could go back I would change that and my wife has told me she would have done anything I wanted even back before we married because she loved me so much and wanted me happy. The way this makes you feel when you fantasize about it I don’t think will ever go away.
 
i am also a bit on the fence about it. i have tried cutting off porn but it havent worked for me at least, it somehow always comes back stronger. Right now i think i'll just give in to it and see how it feels from fantasy to reality and go from there
I did it the other way round. I started with IR sex when i was about 15/16 and loved it. I couldn't get enough. I craved it. It was all i could think about. I would be at school and get hard and have to go to the school toilets to wank. My "Man" (He was in his 40's) had me hooked on what he did to me. This was in the mid 1070's.
It was only much later, after the internet came, that i started watching porn. That took me to another level. Sometimes, if i am alone and dont have work etc, i can spend all day watching porn and wanking. For me, porn is always IR and cuckold with the white husband always being taunted, physically and verbally humiliated.
 
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