It's not even cucks telling people that. It's fakes and wannabes. I'm a cuck, and both my wife and I still need to be approached with respect. If some one wants to call me names in the bedroom, that can be discussed BEFORE playtime, the same way "vixens" probably expect to have a conversation about preferences and limits before some dude just starts calling them a slut. Being submissive doesn't make you a liar, it doesn't mean you have no self esteem, it doesn't mean you have some ulterior motives, and it doesn't mean you don't expect to be treated as a human being just like anyone else. You're absolutely right about one thing, though: if anyone says otherwise, it's bullshit.
It's fine for people to say they aren't into cuckoldry. Cool, to each their own. But it sure gets tiresome reading the ******* these wannabe, BNWO incel closet cases post about, and seeing people assume that's what a cuck is like, or reading about how single men were lied to by "all these cucks pretending to be couples." Guess what? If they aren't part of a couple, they can't be cucks. You are a cuck when your spouse cuckolds you. It's unfortunate if some wanker caused you to have a bad experience, but if he was single or acting without his wife's knowledge or consent, he wasn't a cuck. He was just a douchebag.
My wife and I have been in the lifestyle for more than two decades. We don't condone or perpetuate bad behavior. People tell us all the time that we're easy to talk to, and fun to hang out with. Promoters of lifestyle events have made exceptions for us to attend sold-out functions because they trust we'll add to the good time. We're good enough judges of character that we're still close friends most people we've gotten to know in the lifestyle. I shot the ******* with my wife's first regular bull at a swingers party this weekend. As far as I know, I creeped out zero people, unlike the ******* bitches (male and female) falling all over the place and making a damn mess. It's always strange to me how people that enjoy the stag/vixen thing always want to look down their noses at cuckold couples, and I'm pretty sure most have never met one. Most cucks I know are extremely well-mannered and polite. You'd love them at parties. They'll be honored to tend bar, DJ, work a coat check, or any other activity that adds to the good time of the women in attendance. Even more so if they're trained and want to make their wives proud. They'll tell you how nice your outfit looks, then look you in the eye while you talk to them, instead of staring at your tits. They'll hug back if you go in for one, but they'll never assume it's ok to touch you without permission. They'll bring you a ******* when their wives need a refill (or when they say, "cucky, bring the Lady a *******.")
The term "stag" is sort of bullshit anyway. The term "cuckold" just means "a man whose wife has sex with other men." That's it.
You know, like what vixen/stag people think "stag" means. Over time, it's come to be understood that cuckolds also have to be submissive and/or into humiliation. My wife and I enjoy BDSM play, she's a switch (but always Dominant to me), and I'm definitely submissive. So I wouldn't care that all that stuff is now automatically associated with cuckoldry, except when that happened, people who played differently from the way we do needed a new term; one that said, "I like watching other men fuck my wife, but I'm not a cuckold." Even though they actually are cuckolds, just not submissive cuckolds.
But ok, sometimes having extra terminology helps people identify other like-minded people. I feel like people should be able to identify however they choose, so if some men want to call themselves the ******* that cuckold antlers come from, and say, "I'm not a cuck, I'm a stag," that's great. I'll respect you as a dude that likes to see his wife get fucked, but isn't submissive to her. I totally get that not everyone who likes to watch his wife get fucked also enjoys playing the way my wife and I do. Maybe you don't think men should kneel and kiss their wives' feet, or prefer women who don't spank their husbands. That's cool. Personally, I prefer when the hubby doesn't try to direct the action, or control the woman or her bull during playtime, but everybody has their own dynamic and I respect people who chose to play differently from the way we do. So why is it too much to ask for the same in return?
Cuckolds aren't "ruining" anything. Assholes and single wannabes who project their own fetishes and preferences on everyone else are. A true cuckold is just someone who loves his wife enough to make sure she gets whatever she wants, and derives more pleasure from her sexual fulfillment than his own physical gratification. That's it. We're not the goddamn Boogeyman.