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Wife reluctant
- Thread starter Havingaball
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Havingaball
Couple
Ga
That's an excellent point... I've had the fantasy for a long time to see my wife with black, to the point where I am becoming obsessed... She's just not going to go for it. There's several reasons, the two main ones are that she just doesn't have the attraction, and I'm not lacking in bed... I doubt there's any man who can make her feel better than I do... So we talked about it, and I investigated pretty thoroughly here, with a lot of help and advice from some good friendly people on this site.
Bottom line is, we're going to leave it in fantasy land, and keep on loving each other... We're 45, married for 25 years, together for 29 years, HS sweethearts, and absolute best friends!
re: Wife reluctant
Havingaball hasn't really asked for suggestions but it would help if there was some profile information on the couple. It informs those, who try to provide some helpful suggestions, just where they are as a couple in mate sharing. Here are some things I usually look at ...
A woman takes most all the risks when she takes on new sex partners ... injury, diseases, pregnancy, damage to marriage & reputation, etc.
Many times male spouses often have "remorse" once a wife starts enjoying other partners on a regular basis. Also, after a few years of marriage, spousal sex can become a bit routinish, predictable, & boring. Maybe its time to simply do some different things before involving an outsider.
Is the husband wanting this for his wife (really) or to fulfill his own sexual fantasy?
Hopefully everyone sees where I'm going with this. Anyone can offer suggestions, but, it helps to have some background info.
Havingaball hasn't really asked for suggestions but it would help if there was some profile information on the couple. It informs those, who try to provide some helpful suggestions, just where they are as a couple in mate sharing. Here are some things I usually look at ...
• how long married
• partners (other than spouse) she's been with since they have been married
• moral opinion she has regarding being with other men
• does she masturbate ... have sexual toys ... participate in roll play
• any children in the house (ages); they are the ones who often suffer most from foolish spouse sharing
• what her real alt-sexual fantasies are ... this actually is the "starting point" of a more liberal sexual lifestyle
A woman takes most all the risks when she takes on new sex partners ... injury, diseases, pregnancy, damage to marriage & reputation, etc.
Many times male spouses often have "remorse" once a wife starts enjoying other partners on a regular basis. Also, after a few years of marriage, spousal sex can become a bit routinish, predictable, & boring. Maybe its time to simply do some different things before involving an outsider.
Is the husband wanting this for his wife (really) or to fulfill his own sexual fantasy?
Hopefully everyone sees where I'm going with this. Anyone can offer suggestions, but, it helps to have some background info.
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I agree with you wholeheartedly on the subject of any type of pressure . So far my wife says she just doesn't have
I agree with you wholeheartedly on the subject of any pressure . So far my wife says she only needs me and doesn't fantasize at all . In the long past we did bring a white friend into the mix but all that happened was she sucked him and didn't make him cum . I asked her the other day if she woule be interested in another guy and she said no , and the only reason she gave our friend head was pressure from me and alcohol . I love my wife of 41 years , yes you read that right 41 years . My main problem is I can't cum in her very often without a fantasy being involved . I realize my size limitations being not very big . Thing is I make her cum and quite often if not multiple times each time we have sex . I did tell her the other day that I think she would love having a Black man with a large cock , even just once and a while . She said that was my fantasy not hers . I asked her to watch a interracial movie and she said yes but might not pay much attention to it . In the past we used to watch many movies and quite a few interracial . So as it's stands I will go on dreaming on the prospect of her taking a BBC . As far as me not being able to cum in her I think internet porn has conditioned my brain to only be able to cum while fantasizing in my mind different situations . So if anybody can enlighten me on what I must do please let me know .
The thing that backed me off the cliff was I feel that she's so against the idea that if I pushed it, she'd reluctantly try it, and I fear that it could damage the wonderful friendship her and I share..
The tough thing to understand being a man is the fact that sexual desires and emotional fulfillment are two different things, but to my wife are linked permanently... I've also realized that the emotional connection between us is more powerful, and more special than any amount of orgasms...
I'm so blessed to have a wife who is also my best friend, my pal, my "partner in crime"... I'm able to speak with her candidly about absolutely anything. Instead of judgements, I get logical discussion, and we both learn from each other... My wife is very strongly of the opinion that women who engage in the lifestyle are somewhat insecure... Needing the attention. She doesn't say that as a criticism, but as an observation... The bottom line is that I feel much better now that I have explored the lifestyle, and feel even closer to her than ever...
I would encourage you to try to find a way to back yourself off of the idea. I will tell you, it's not easy, but can be done... If you'd like to speak privately, my PMs are open!
I too agree I went to fast considering her ideas about as she calls them my fantasizes . I do believe she has fantasizes but says she doesn't .
Everyone has fantasies! I've had a lot of fun over the past year or so, we've learned a lot about each other's fantasies... We discovered that we have a fantasy in common... Voyeurism... We want to watch others fuck... Regardless, I still think she'd only want me! She makes me feel like I'm the center of the universe!
Show her lots of porn. Eventually nature will take its course.
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