Why I'm Embracing Polyamory

[MsThang]

For years my wife and I have been swingers, then shifted more towards cuckold lifestyle. So other partners is nothing new for us. We talked about polyamory repeatedly and always turned away from this trend. The reason is that poly requires love and commitment. Splittling emotions between a husband (or wife) and a lover is not easy. That is why I always insisted that my wife took more than one lover at a time - to avoid emotional addiction. When I was younger and had my share of other women, my wife also hated if I went too long with one. So, I fully agree that non-monogomy (doors-open-widely-marriage) is our future, but not polyamory.

that remains to be seen. We thought like you did early on....trying to make sure a true emotional attachment wasn't achieved. Then we found a third and he went all the way in, as well as us and it was beautiful and perfect. I didn't stay with him (because he lived in another state) but having a real life/love experience changed everything. We both want that now. No substitute for us and it's only made our relationship stronger

 

[MsThang]

You have perfectly gathered your thoughts on polygamy which reflects reality!!

From a psychological point of view, polygamy played an astonishingly powerful role in the formation and survival of Stone Age societies,which geneticists and cultural anthropologists say there is a lot of evidence. Communities are much easier to build and maintain with the power of love than through mental and physical violence generated by central power!!

Sex has two important roles in a person’s life!

1.Physical need. Nutrition in addition to sleep and fluid intake is definitely necessary for sex due to proper hormonal homeostasis,to keep the genitals healthy! Prostate testicular cervical and ovarian cancer potentially significantly increased in people living in celibacy!!

2.Demonstration of emotional attachment.People show their emotions to other people in several ways,and one way to do that is to gift the other person. Physically and emotionally, the most complex and at the same time the most enjoyable way of giving is sex itself!!

The aforementioned psychotherapist lady is absolutely right that people need a permanence that provides security and a thrill and adventure that provides spiritual refreshment that brings happiness.This is true simply because a significant proportion of people are mentally quite complex, requiring a variation in the traits that generate spiritual rejuvenation.The extent and speed of change, of course, varies from person to person!

I agree perfectly with the proportions of divorces and frauds!

Like many other people, I have been cheated. I've been a cheater too. Many of my friends and co-workers have already broken their relationships due to fraud and / or boredom. I tried to explain to myself on the basis of monogamy that whoever cheats is the fundamentally bad person, but it just rather confused me more me.

With help, I called the branch of psychology related to sexuality and then I really became enlightened. After reading and studying several sexual psychology articles, I had to face reality. The reality is that polygamy is an essential part of human nature, and (especially on a religious basis) the violent monogamy that exists in countries that are part of a moral expectation called social convection and that is extremely religious (mostly monotheistic) contradicts human nature. In polytheistic and animist-based cultures, in addition to monogamy, polygamy is fundamentally tolerated, in addition to heterosexuality, non-heterosexuality ( homosexuality , bisexuality,pansexuality , transgender, intersexuality ), consensual sex between people of different ages ,and sex between people of other phenotypes with sex between people of the same breed.

My psychological readings pointed out that I couldn’t have been some good lover, but also that my ex-girlfriend could not and / or did not want to communicate her desires, even though she did not have to fear any possible atrocities! I haven’t been angry with my ex-girlfriend for cheating on me for a long time!!

The "black belted" polygam people are swinger lifestyle lovers! They are really advanced intellectually and emotionally so much that they want to hide nothing from their husbands / wives, there is no jealousy in them and they are already the ones who, guided by a high degree of empathy without any kind of ulterior motives, help the novice swinger club visitor couples to successfully integrate into the community.

I have been part of the camp of happy polygamous people for some time now! On a Hungarian erotic dating site, I contacted a couple experimenting in a sexual field and after a gradual approach, our first triple and cuckold sex date was very successful. Originally, I would have had a home-friendly role, which I accepted, but due to the conversations, interactions and sex itself on the new dates, the emotional connection between me and the wife rose to a higher level and the husband and I became friends than just acquaintances.

All three of us see the whole as a triple community where the wives have two husbands and both (me and the husband) can consider the wife as our wife emotionally and sexually. There is no guilt, no anxiety, there is only sexual arousal and love and friendship without l jealousy!!

love it!!!!

 

[tomtomjim]

I don’t think she said there was anything simple about it… requires a huge amount of communication and starting off with a healthy marriage which takes work! I know you already know this since I’ve read your other posts… when you’re not being contrary, they are intelligent.

i like it when a woman tells me i am wrong specially when it means i should agree with them. I am submissive to certain women and they forgive me my ways because i really do submit and it has nothing to do with sex

 

[MsThang]

Loyalty is a social-political cultural "product", because in some part of ancient established population groups, a leading layer was formed and reached to power who wanted to control people with simple rules. Monogamy and heterosexuality. All other alternatives were forbidden and strict crime waited for the violation of the law. Time, the prohibition and sanction of love and sex also appeared among members of the different classes of society ( serf-aristocrat, serf-civil / middle class / , civil-aristocrat ) . In the slave societies, further tightening came into effect, which further restricted the life of the officially free people.

Three things to create social conventions will never be seriously taken into account:

1. The emotions and desires of people in humans.
2.Courage.
3. Intelligence.

Emotions and desires.

People socialized in monotheistic cultures also discover within themselves the instinct for emotional and sexual polygamy because it is human-born, and it can only be temporarily suppressed with a sense of shame. People don’t usually realize that in addition to an existing partner, they may find other people attractive because of their external and / or internal traits emotionally and / or sexually, which makes them increasingly natural to have an intimate relationship with the other person. In many cases, there is no abusive intent towards the original partner, it's just that one person finds the other equally attractive and therefore feels safer, happier and richer in their life because of a relationship with two (or more) intimate partners. It is essentially nothing more than a rediscovery of the ******* that unites Stone Age societieI!

Courage.

There is a degree of fear where the person first becomes paralyzed by the fear and then goes into a dead end and is no longer interested in the consequences, but will still fight for himself. Fractal geometry is the best way to model this transformation. On a spiral line, an increasingly complex pattern will eventually extinguish itself, and again the simplest pattern will follow.

Intelligence.

No one but exhibitionists wants their private lives to be the subject of public discourse, and therefore put their cognitive abilities to work in addition to desires and courage to achieve their goal of sharpening their lives in a polygamous way.

From the comments of several ladies, it turns out that they are perfectly happy with their husbands in all areas (unfortunately, this is not true for all women, although deserve a good marriage), which includes sex life, and in addition to her husband, demands a black gentleman with excellent intellectual emotional and sexual ability, who over time will no longer be just his lover, but essentially a second husband.

THANK YOU for your helpful and intelligent observations

 

[ZZZZ79]

THANK YOU for your helpful and intelligent observations

You're very welcome , and I hope others find my insights useful!!

There are two reasons for translating my comments into words: personal involvement and the conclusion of my psychological readings arising from diligence.

 

[tomtomjim]

THANK YOU for your helpful and intelligent observations

interesting but many societies were not monogamous or even structured to have marriage. Even in modern societies there have been ways to break or bend the rules

 

[ZZZZ79]

interesting but many societies were not monogamous or even structured to have marriage. Even in modern societies there have been ways to break or bend the rules

Voluntary monogamy, free from all social expectations, is a strong emotional attachment to the other person, but the monogamy is, in fact, a political invention that serves to control people!!

Emotional and sexual polygamy are fundamentally an integral part of human nature, what can be lived on a consensual basis on a daily basis that even benefits the relationship between the two people (marriage, cohabitation). Swinger lifestyle people are the best example of this, who understood this natural phenomenon and were able to process it emotionally.

In this state, there is no more fear. In this state, there is no more jealousy = strong desire to own and strong emotional dislike for potential competitors. No feeling of cheating and there is no feeling of guilt due to cheating.

 

[tomtomjim]

Voluntary monogamy, free from all social expectations, is a strong emotional attachment to the other person, but the monogamy is, in fact, a political invention that serves to control people!!

Emotional and sexual polygamy are fundamentally an integral part of human nature, what can be lived on a consensual basis on a daily basis that even benefits the relationship between the two people (marriage, cohabitation). Swinger lifestyle people are the best example of this, who understood this natural phenomenon and were able to process it emotionally.

In this state, there is no more fear. In this state, there is no more jealousy = strong desire to own and strong emotional dislike for potential competitors. No feeling of cheating and there is no feeling of guilt due to cheating.

that assumes people are rational. Greed, fear are natural emotions and for some they are stronger, it is why people can never have enough money or control. You do not see people on this site talking about accomadating the cuckold or making sure we all have a real good time. My neighbor dominates me because she likes me and wants to feel secure

 

[MsThang]

Voluntary monogamy, free from all social expectations, is a strong emotional attachment to the other person, but the monogamy is, in fact, a political invention that serves to control people!!

Emotional and sexual polygamy are fundamentally an integral part of human nature, what can be lived on a consensual basis on a daily basis that even benefits the relationship between the two people (marriage, cohabitation). Swinger lifestyle people are the best example of this, who understood this natural phenomenon and were able to process it emotionally.

In this state, there is no more fear. In this state, there is no more jealousy = strong desire to own and strong emotional dislike for potential competitors. No feeling of cheating and there is no feeling of guilt due to cheating.

 

[MsThang]

will you be my second husband ???

 

[tomtomjim]

When a woman has one man who is monogamous to her while she has as many other men as she wants it is dominance and submission. The other men the woman has are also at her beck and call since she is the physical and emotional gate keeper. It becomes even more convoluted when a man submits to more than one woman emotionally

 

[ZZZZ79]

will you be my second husband ???

You intended the question for me??

 

[OlderCouple88]

no...he doesn't want other women. What makes him happy is seeing me be happy......with someone else. You know: cuck

In my opinion, When we started or to put it another way, I was the dominant partner,My wife had had no other man, I was discovered cheating on Her and almost broke up our marriage , at an early stage.
However my Wife forgave my indiscretion.
At the same time questioned me on why/and what did I see in Her.(The Other Woman)
As we discussed our sex life,and that of my ex partner, She obviously got turned on.
The next step was to try swinging,This we got into and we both enjoyed the scene.
However my wife complained that most of the guys She fucked were not that well endowed.
We always if watching porn prefered black well hung guys.
She used to say to me during our sex “ Wouldn’t you like to see me doing that “
which would make me climax instantly.
My Wife took it on Herself to perform in front of a very large crowd of couples and singles at a party Nr St Albans in a large house where these sort of thing happened quite regularly.
As I have stated in some of my other posts, I was in another room with another lady and walked back in the main area to find my wife already with one BBC inside and another about to go inside Her bum.
This was when I discovered my Wife was A submissive exihibitionist.

 

[smalljohn]

Would love to be a 4th or 5th for her.

 

[CocoTemptation]

A very interesting article. As a single male I have always been open to feelings being developed between myself and the partner of a cuckold so long as it is within the permissible boundaries of their relationship dynamic. This is what has let to me exploring polyamory coming out of the pandemic.

I made a conscious decision to only date and potentially get into a relationship with a non-monogamous woman/women who would be accepting of my need to also explore my sexuality separately with a cuckold or bi couple.

 

[ZZZZ79]

In fact, the title of the topic should not have been formulated, because polyamory is a fundamental behavior of all primates, and humanity is no exception!
Monogamy is actually an emotional choice based on control over instincts, and a form of exercising power over people in the technical toolbox, which is characteristic of monotheistic cultures!

 

[Maleslave]

View attachment 4146914

For context, I'm very happily married to a wonderful man who happens to be a cuckold. How did I become so lucky? Because many years ago I advertised for a cuckold man to date and voila! My husband showed up. He is entirely monogamous with me….and I am not. I am consensually non-monogamous. This dynamic is the basis of our core agreement with each other.
In the beginning, we did the typical threesome thing on occasion. As we slipped into the global pandemic, we started talking about how much we wanted MORE in our life. Poly relationships offer more love, more companionship, more friendship, and yes, more sex. We have some poly friends and started exploring the idea of a genuine love relationship beyond our marriage. We BOTH decided to pursue finding a quality third to add to our marriage.
I'm beyond the 20 something "hook-up" culture and do not find casual sex hook-ups to be nearly as alluring as they were in my 20's.
I want connection, friendship, and skillful communication.
Now I have a strong preference for a man of color. My first love was black, and I've always loved black men. I'm not a fetishist that fantasizes about black men, but I have dated them since my very first dating experience, and it's a personal preference.
I'm a big fan of Esther Perel, a psychologist and relationship expert. She builds and an iron-clad case of why relationships can be SO problematic:
as she states, ALL HUMANS, both men, and women have competing needs in a relationship: on the one hand, we have a need for safety, security, predictability in our relationships. On the other hand, we also need adventure, experimentation, and excitement.
These two needs are very primal and in conflict with each other. Although everyone has both, often one partner has a dominant need for safety and predictability, and the other partner has a predominant need for adventure and experimentation. I believe polyamory can be one way to resolve these competing needs.
I'm not advocating that everyone should be poly. Polyamory requires very emotionally secure people, a high level of emotional intelligence, and the ability to communicate openly, honestly, and transparently. It is not suitable for everyone!
Polyamory is the hip alternative to the traditional format of loving relationships between men and women and same-sex couples.
I believe polyamory will be much more prevalent in the future, and more people will favor non-monogamous relationships. The simple reason is that it is one way we can address the conflicting needs for both safety and adventure can be addressed in a loving relationship.

It turns out that even now, only a tiny percentage of people are truly monogamous. Look around you at how many people divorce and then start new relationships. We have almost a 50% divorce rate, and on top of that, another 28% admit to cheating.
Any system that has a 78% failure rate needs to build a new paradigm.

In a polyamorous relationship, people can have more than one romantic partner. Everybody knows about each other's existence and agrees to their own "ground rules" It's not all about sex; it's about the ability to love several partners and recognizing that we have these conflicting needs. Poly is a way to address them in a healthy and non-damaging way.
On the one hand, this kind of relationship seems like paradise – people are sincere, happy, and loved. On the other hand, this idea runs counter to the established ethical values set for monogamous marriage. There are issues to work out, but here are the main advantages:

Honesty and transparency. Transparency and honesty are two main pillars of polyamory. I may have whatever partner I want in our marriage, and we communicate very openly about it.
In truly polyamorous throuples, partners feel free to talk about each other and other partners, their relationship in general. My husband is terrific friends with my other lover. They don't conceal their emotions, and we don't feel guilty saying "I love you" to more than one person.

Diversity. Remember the inherent conflicting needs, as most marriages fall apart either because of infidelity or boredom. Polyamory excludes these two reasons. The variety it provides prevents partners from drowning in the daily grind, while the first drive to monopolize your partner's body and the idea of cheating seems quite ridiculous. People practicing polyamory may be less prone to jealousy, as they remain emotionally connected with their partners and more willing to discuss issues when they come up.

Emotional satisfaction. Sometimes, you may not get enough emotional closeness from your partner either because they have limitations or just the realities of busy day-to-day life. The care and nurturing of multiple partners require both intention and ability. Most people that get angry and annoyed respond by changing out their partner. In poly relationships, you can satisfy your need for emotions with another partner. For example, if one of your partners is a homebody, calm and careful. This partner can fill your need for safety and security. Perhaps another one of your partners is the opposite of the first one. With this person, you feel adventurous. In my case, my boyfriend loves to dance, and my husband wouldn't be caught dead dancing.

Sexual diversity. Sexual variety is the most obvious and most talked about benefit.
For instance, you like different things about sex. And you get all of them with several lovers. One of your partners enjoys tender and sensual sex, while another one is a fan of experiments and various sexual tools.

Overcoming jealousy. It's not true polyamorous partners don't feel jealous at all. They often do at the beginning of their relationship. However, they are open enough to talk about their jealousy with their partner and deal with this fear. There is never-ending practice on honesty and good communication.

If you find finding a solution to your conflicting needs, talk about polyamory with your partner. You may be surprised and delighted!View attachment 4146911

Thank you to share this. I understand this and I even think it would work in my marriage to. If my wife would suggest this I would sure be open for it and maybe try it out. Glad it work in your marriage.

 

[Cuckold25pitt]

I'm only in my early 30's. But I've been doing the supportive cuck thing since 17. After finding the porn at 15. Then moving on to finding couples to serve/ Then moving out of state at 23 for my first cuck partner then coming back home again, then moving away yet again at 26. I've started
every relationship off with talking about being a cuck

I think its a smoother transaction when you start off with the cuck dynamic. There's no having to deal with how your partner sees you differently when a bull does say something or does something that makes her see her cuck in a different light. I have been friends with many couples who like 98% of cuck couples, went from normal to cuck relationship. She always has to deal with thinking he doesn't find her attractive. And the husband always has to worry about her she sees him or wonders if he asks to be more submissive towards a bull that she won't want him. Starting off with it just makes it way easier. But its also extremely hard for a woman to see this as a legit relationship from the start.