Thoughts on what this could mean...

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RichMann

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My wife and I were at the gym last night and after finishing our workout, I had to go to the car to get my wallet for us to buy shakes. I pass by and she gets in line. I see two young black men in line just ahead of her, but pay no real attention.
We get our shakes and move on to home. Once there we go through our normal routine... dinner, relaxing a bit, then to bed. Prior to bed as we were about to take showers, she mentions to me, out of the blue, that she had “caught” those two younger black guys checking her out and making complimentary comments about her to each other.... she plays it off a little to just steer the conversation... but, I am wondering what motivated her to say this and what was possibly going through her mind? Real, adult commentary and responses, please.
 
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I’m not really sure I’d get the honest and true answer. I believe that she has thoughts that she keeps to herself for whatever reason... probably multiple reasons... yet, still drops hints. Women are still mysteries... thank you for the serious answer though...
 
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Sounds like you might be on a good path. As @Khrises4u suggested, talking is the best way to go. I told my girlfriend early into our relationship about my interest in chastity and interracial cuckolding. Now, we talk about it occasionally, openly. Sometimes during sex, sometimes not. Start a conversation.
 
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Look, at the core of any alternative sexual relationship MUST be communication. She needs to feel confident that her wild and naughty kinks are as acceptable as yours, and that in fact, they are promoted and supported lovingly and she isn't "being used" (though there's certainly those women that enjoy that as a kink!!).

I swear, there's so many people that aren't patient with this sort of thing, and figure I said one time that she could open up about this stuff to me ... and she didnt' share. Well ... it can take YEARS. And it ALWAYS starts with strong fundamental relationship at the core, if you want things to last. We've been married 20+ years and together for 27. We have played around in all kinds of dynamics ... from threesomes with men and women to swinging with couples and now black men exclusively ... its all kinds of fun, but always the key is communication, IMO. Get that right, especially if you can be open and honest with each other, once you get to the place where you can bear your souls and feel ok about it on both sides ... then its really getting somewhere!!
 
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RichMann said:
My wife and I were at the gym last night and after finishing our workout, I had to go to the car to get my wallet for us to buy shakes. I pass by and she gets in line. I see two young black men in line just ahead of her, but pay no real attention.
We get our shakes and move on to home. Once there we go through our normal routine... dinner, relaxing a bit, then to bed. Prior to bed as we were about to take showers, she mentions to me, out of the blue, that she had “caught” those two younger black guys checking her out and making complimentary comments about her to each other.... she plays it off a little to just steer the conversation... but, I am wondering what motivated her to say this and what was possibly going through her mind? Real, adult commentary and responses, please.
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Tell us more please what’s happen since this? Anything
 
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She said yes said:
Tell us more please what’s happen since this? Anything
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Well, we went to bed last night and she was very in the mood. So, we started as we normally do. We have an outstanding sexual relationship and always have. It’s a centering point for us both. We enjoy toys and extras... and I can always tell when she wants me to get one of the “larger” items she prefers at times. I did and she enjoyed as usual... I believe she downplays just how much she enjoys that and anothe toy, making excuses like “it’s cold” or it’s not what the real thing feels like.... and I get that... for sure. She orgasmed and then I followed and finished up as we do on those nights... it was good, as usual. I just feel like there is something underlying that isn’t being shared... maybe to spare my feelings?
 
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As others have said talk to her. Ask her. Communication is the best way to know what she thought and meant. Just let her know you really want to know what she was thinking and reassure her that you love her. If nothing else tell her how erotic you thought it was to hear that the guys were checking her out. This may lead to more conversations on the subject. But if you don't take the plunge to talk to her about it you will never know what she meant by her statement.
 
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housewifenheat said:
As others have said talk to her. Ask her. Communication is the best way to know what she thought and meant. Just let her know you really want to know what she was thinking and reassure her that you love her. If nothing else tell her how erotic you thought it was to hear that the guys were checking her out. This may lead to more conversations on the subject. But if you don't take the plunge to talk to her about it you will never know what she meant by her statement.
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I agree with you 100%. However, I feel like I won’t necessarily get the pure honest answer. Even with reassurance, I think she will dodge it a touch. It’s almost as if it’s too taboo for her to divulge, even to me, her husband and best friend for 26 years.
To add to my curiosity, I recently found a series of text messages that she had with an old flame. They were a little vanilla at first but as he flirted, she gave a little back as well. Teasing mostly and making him know what he lost those years ago. But, they were definitely NOT messages that would have been sent had I been sitting next to her reading over her shoulder. She knows I’m not controlling or overly into getting into her phone or private stuff. I’m not really concerned about these messages, but I feel like she is searching for something. Maybe her curiosity could be led somewhere? I don’t know... throwing it out there for this group.
 
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She might evade answering you for a couple of reasons, one she isn't sure herself how to deal with the idea and the desire to be with other men. The other is she doesn't want to hurt you and feels that if she pursues these desires she will hurt you. Each woman is different and sometimes society has ingrained us to not go after what we want.
 
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housewifenheat said:
She might evade answering you for a couple of reasons, one she isn't sure herself how to deal with the idea and the desire to be with other men. The other is she doesn't want to hurt you and feels that if she pursues these desires she will hurt you. Each woman is different and sometimes society has ingrained us to not go after what we want.
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I think you’ve hit the nail on the head. Thoughts on how to navigate this and even possibly encourage?
 
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RichMann said:
I think you’ve hit the nail on the head. Thoughts on how to navigate this and even possibly encourage?
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Just keep talking to her and encourage her to talk about fantasies. Also reassure her that you love her no matter what fantasies or sexual desires she has. Also tell her that you find the idea of her being with another guy erotic and hot. But always tell her and show her you love her no matter what.
 
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housewifenheat said:
Just keep talking to her and encourage her to talk about fantasies. Also reassure her that you love her no matter what fantasies or sexual desires she has. Also tell her that you find the idea of her being with another guy erotic and hot. But always tell her and show her you love her no matter what.
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We are both very good at supporting each other. Nothing we say is off limits or ever judged. We had to learn that, we did get married very young. I’ve read a lot here on the site (it’s actually incredibly supportive and honest) and the worst thing to do is ******* a situation. That would have terrible outcomes and have repercussions. I am certainly running with your advice, and it’s so very appreciated.
Just a thought and question for you... she made it clear that the guys were black, she didn’t have to, she could have said these two guys... was there intention in those words? She’s usually very measured in the words she uses... I’m just curious as to your thoughts.
 
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RichMann said:
We are both very good at supporting each other. Nothing we say is off limits or ever judged. We had to learn that, we did get married very young. I’ve read a lot here on the site (it’s actually incredibly supportive and honest) and the worst thing to do is ******* a situation. That would have terrible outcomes and have repercussions. I am certainly running with your advice, and it’s so very appreciated.
Just a thought and question for you... she made it clear that the guys were black, she didn’t have to, she could have said these two guys... was there intention in those words? She’s usually very measured in the words she uses... I’m just curious as to your thoughts.
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If you say there's nothing off limits why in the world are you asking us and not her? Talk with her and find out - no one here knows what's in your girls' mind...
 
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Khrises4u said:
If you say there's nothing off limits why in the world are you asking us and not her? Talk with her and find out - no one here knows what's in your girls' mind...
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Just because the knowledge of things being completely open doesn’t mean that it’s easy for someone to just completely open up to a new and possibly rejected idea or thought. I could say I’d like to harm someone but that doesn’t mean she is going to be ok with that and go along with it... get my point?
I’m asking in the vein of a woman’s perspective. If you personally can’t provide that, then I would respectfully ask you not to comment, it’s that easy. You’ve said your point, twice, and I’ve heard it. Thank you for your input.
 
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I’ve been trying to figure out how I would open up the conversation and make sure the feeling is known that I was open and interested in the or her thoughts... ideas?
Because that’s where I am, looking for next steps.
 
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RichMann said:
I’ve been trying to figure out how I would open up the conversation and make sure the feeling is known that I was open and interested in the or her thoughts... ideas?
Because that’s where I am, looking for next steps.
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I think men and women have responded with suggesting you talk directly with her about your thoughts and feelings. She has given you the entree, you need to take risk and walk through the door.

The ways it's worked best is not to pose a direct question "donyou want to really fuck black men" but like others have said and say positive messages about how you enjoyed the fantasy talk and have had thoughts of her doing those things and it turns you on and see how she responds. No magic bullet here you need to know the woman you're talking with well and have a stong underlying relationship where there is trust
 
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