The thing is my wife seems to very intuitive about this. She never flinched or recoiled at the idea of her saying these things to me and in fact has said things about black men being bigger than me as we watch a homemade video of some hung black man with someone's wife. And it is not some "canned" comment she throws out there to appease me either. It comes to her very naturally and when it is appropriate.
For instance, there was this time we were watching this homemade video awhile back of some wife with this black man who was absolutely amazing in every way imaginable, and was enormous. We were quietly watching when she said to me "god' he's twice your size Keith." My heart leaped out of my chest because it was so sincere.