I totally agree, the excitement of this lifestyle is how it develops, two years ago I had zero interest in being submissive to my partner nor a bull, just wanted to see them get fucked by massive cocks, that was all, now its all I think about! I have totally become obsessed with the fact black men are superior to me and I cant compete sexually in any way, and having my partner become obsessed with black men and want to give herself completely to them, the sickness of this lifestyle is I want my "soulmate" who I love and want to be with forever to dominate me, withhold sex, humiliate and emasculate me, see her used and ruined by other men constantly but yet I know I would be complete if she got pregnant to a black bull while we are together and most of all, I know how much I want to actually experience seeing her slowly fall out of love with me, and see her fall in love and get infatuated with a bull and leave me.
The interracial aspect of cuckolding has become more important then the relationship, the real thrill is submitting to black men in literally every way and the ultimate is giving them the love of your life to do what they want with.