I think you're acting like most beta men would act.
you are putting the responsibility on someone else. I trained a Goddess many years ago, she is now a hotwife and a total boss bitch..She is amazing and men worship the ground she walks on. The one thing she needed to learn is the difference between alpha and beta men.
A beta man is a baby.
A beta man tries to pass of responsibility to a woman
A beta man is a "good guy" who lets life pass him by
A beta man "hopes" for things
An alpha man is a man.
An alpha man takes responsibility
An alpha man should be a "good human" but he has the capacity to be very very bad "naughty"
An alpha man doesn't "hope" he creates
Society is not on women's side. It never has been.
I can't say its because of the patriarchy, because to be honest, I'm not even sure what that means
Its a made up construct to control people.
But women want both beta and alpha males.
A woman needs a protector (beta male) but she also needs a primal lover (alpha male)
There are some extraordinary men that can switch between beta and alpha. But those men are so rare, that yes unicorn is probably the best way to put it. Which is why for centuries women shared Alpha men.
@firedogg81 - you need to find some courage and just talk to your wife about the beta/alpha paradox
And ask her - does she want a primal alpha lover or not - because you sir are NOT IT!!
And if she says NO, I don't care - then you need to tell her.
"Ok, good, because from now on, I'm going to be myself and I'm no longer going to pretend to be something for you anymore."
Trust me - once your wife hears that you have been "playing a role" for her -- she will find an alpha to fuck next week.