“Plato/other forms of intimacy,” for me I think.
I am lucky enough to be enjoying the full attentions of my wife these days since her long-term BF had to move up north for work (they still text and she does enjoy a soiree with him if he is able to travel but its not common), but even so, “it’s different,” I think she would say. Not often we would do classic penetration, all culminated from a time years ago when she claimed that the sex was “boring” which got us going down this road. (Someone clever once said, you can do pretty much anything to a woman and she will tolerate it and forgive you. But just don’t bore her!)
When she was seeing her previous BF which was a pretty regular thing for 18 months or so, we would often still be intimate afterwards or the next day, but typically oral on her (which of course I loved, sensitive and loving etc.) and masturbation, sometimes graduating with cock ring/plug and vibrate remote control (she can be a control freak!)
Now, “blowjobs”, that would be a different question entirely. True what they say for me that they seem to end after you get married and my wife has never been that keen (and cuckold ways, not a problem I guess).
But for a boyfriend, completely different story! At first she wouldn’t tell me, perhaps I think because she thought I would be jealous but as we shared more details it would come out and it was clear that BJs were a serious part of her repertoire with BF! But not with me.
When I asked, Why, I just get the “it’s different,” answer and a shrug. I think there is a play on the respect / power dynamic though. As a husband I am more of an equal, an equivalent, a life partner, but with him, going down is an act of submission and it is totally clear she wants to satisfy him with that.