Long Term Wifesharing Relationships

[mywayintermsofsex]

Wifesharing LTR

Terms used in This Article

For simplicity "wife" in this context may refer to both a married or an unmarried Woman in a romantic/heterosexual/emotional/spiritual long term relationship with a strong bond between her and her husband or boyfriend. Likewise the term "husband" may refer to a married or unmarried man in such a relationship.
Also "Wifesharing" refers to a lifestyle in which both such wives and girlfriends are being shared by their partners.

In addition the symbolic terms "Stag" and "Vixen" may be used to denote the roles of a husband and a wife in that specific type of a sharing lifestyle which will be explained later on. The (also symbolic) term "Stallion" will be introduced to refer to the role of a wife's (regular) partner "on the side".

Scope of This Discussion

This article is about consensual Wifesharing with a regular third playmate as an Adult Sexual Lifestyle and not about polyamorous relationships. Even though the latter also have a place within the group of sharing lifestyles and relationship models, those are not being discussed here. Also, to be more specific, the focus is on heterosexual sharing of a man's wife or girlfriend with another male partner.

All statements herein reflect my own personal views on the subject matter that have formed from direct and indirect experiences as well as reasoning based on sources, both scientific and profane.


Why Wifesharing in a Long Term Relationship (LTR)? - PART I

Before I go deeper into that, let's take a more general look at Wifesharing...

First off we can distinguish two very different scenarios. One being consensual, the other being non-consensual. The latter would describe a cheating wife with an either unaware or conniving husband who does not consent to her cheating. In a consensual scenario the husband not only lets happen the wife having relations with one or more other partner(s) "on the side" but also proactively consents to and often encourages and supports her having those. This article is about consensual Wifesharing.


Diagram 1. Consensual versus non-consensual Wifesharing (with examples)


Furthermore we can distinguish whom the wife is shared with based on the aspect of sexuality. A bisexual wife may find pleasure in being shared with one or more Woman/Women "on the side" to also fulfill her desire for sex or relationships with female partners which her husband cannot provide her with in person. Also both heterosexual and bisexual wives may be shared with other men which can be referred to as heterosexual Wifesharing. Bisexual sharing of a husband is not being discussed here because that would be a different lifestyle with a greatly different dynamic too. This article is about heterosexual Wifesharing.


Diagram 2. Heterosexual versus bisexual Wifesharing (with examples)

Before I go on, let us take a closer look at diagrams 1 and 2...

The first diagram is not fully correct as the examples of both a polyamorous and a swinging wife need not necessarily be based on the husband's consensus. To be more precise we have to add the information that in those examples the husband knows about his wife's swinging or having relationships with another person and consents to that.

What we see in diagram 2 is that the aspects consensus and sexuality are orthogonal (meaning they don't depend on each other) which means there can be scenarios or situations with those aspects in either combination.
An example of consensual heterosexual Wifesharing would be a "wife shared in a GB" (as long as the husband is consenting to that, of course).
An example of non-consensual heterosexual Wifesharing would be a "wife (who) cheats with another man".
An example of consensual bisexual Wifesharing would be a "wife shared in (a) FFM" threesome with the husband being the male participant.
An example of non-consensual bisexual Wifesharing would be a "wife (who) has sex with a M/F couple" behind her husband's back.

Another observation (from diagram 1) is that a polyamorous wife, a swinging wife and a Vixen are being distinguished. But what's the difference between those? - I will look closer into that in the follow-up article "Why Wifesharing in a long term relationship (LTR)? - PART II", if appreciated by you, my fellow B2w "kinksters".

 

[mywayintermsofsex]

Some eye-candy...

 

[KDD71]

Some eye-candy...

LOL This is like enticing people to come by saying there will be free lunch at the team meeting.... Am looking forward to reading part two.

 

[mywayintermsofsex]

LOL This is like enticing people to come by saying there will be free lunch at the team meeting.... Am looking forward to reading part two.

me too but i'll have to write it first. Just wondering if there are more people here who would actually read it.
Thank you.

 

[KDD71]

me too but i'll have to write it first. Just wondering if there are more people here who would actually read it.
Thank you.

Its a complicated subject and as you have mentioned there can be overlaps. For example a cheating wife who switches to a consensual world or a consensual sharing relationship where one partner sees more people than is known. For example I have met women that my wife knows about and then those she doesn't. I will not be surprised if she has seen men I am not aware of. So I am curious to read more and see how you end up laying this out... One very messy (pun intended) Venn diagram

 

[mywayintermsofsex]

Why Wifesharing in a Long Term Relationship (LTR)? - PART II

As layed out in PART I a Sexual Lifestyle may involve more than one, and in many cases a multitude of aspects. So far the aspects of consensus and sexuality have been discussed briefly. A few more aspects will be presented later on. But what has not been defined yet is the term of a Sexual Lifestyle or, more generally, an Adult Lifestyle itself.

In this article I will take an individual-centered, analytic approach with an attempt to gain insight in the anatomy of Adult Lifestyles and Relationship Models. Based on those more general findings I will then focus on the more specialized Lifestyle of Wifesharing.

The term Lifestyle literally suggests a defined style of living. A Woman having a one night stand (ONS) with a man who happens to be Black, for instance, does per se not fit that definition because it is not a style of living but only a singular event. A Woman who has ONSs on a regular basis because she chooses to explore and enjoy sex with a variety of different men, on the other hand, constitutes a lifestyle - which, in this case, could be explained as promiscuous or, less precisely, "consecutive polyandry".
These observations directly lead to the introduction of the aspect of temporality.

The Meteorological Analogy

A meteorologist distinguishes a current state of the atmosphere in an area or region from long term observations. Momentary measurements of atmospheric parameters of interest (like temperature, humidity and atm. pressure) are called "atmospheric conditions"; an observation of those conditions and their change within a rather short period of time (half a day to not more than a few days) is called "weather".
A long term observation (30 years or more) of gathered weather data constitutes "climate". A climate is defined by the average of those parameters (which is called a trajectory) plus a spread (interval) around that trajectory which is provided by extreme values that give a lower and an upper bound for typical weather behavior in a region and time slice (a season, a month of the year, or a given day of a month); where a bound is a threshold rather than a strict limit because if you have an extreme value (temperature, for instance) in one year, there may be an even more extreme value in yet another year. However the overall volatility is limited to a condensed interval around the long-term average.

Now if we use this (short and long term weather behavior) as an analogy for human sexual behavior...
"atmospheric conditions" are analogous to a sexual activity (like a blowjob, for instance) or a sex position carried out at a moment.
"weather" is analogous to (for example) having sex on a playdate, a masturbation session or spending a weekend with a lover, all of which are singular events.
"climate" is an analogy for a Sexual Lifestyle in which a special type of sexual behavior is carried out by an individual in a continuous or repeated manner over a longer period of time. Just like with climate there is some volatility, and variations that may divert from that assumed behavior are possible on singular events. And just like with climate a Sexual Lifestyle may change and evolve over time into a different one.


Diagram 3. Sexual Play versus Sexual Lifestyle (with examples)

Defining the term of a Sexual Lifestyle like that is pretty much a view from the outside. It would be an interesting question to ask: What are the reasons why a person is living that characteristic Sexual Lifestyle they choose and not another one? Such reasons are often based on factors like upbringing, perceived social norms, where one individual may or may not choose (consciously or not) to fulfill those while another individual may choose (again consciously or not) to put those norms into question or not. The first sexual experience a person has had may or may not have an impact on how that person views having sex, and thus may have an influence on that person's sexual future, or not. Likewise non-sexual experiences of the past like relationships or interactions with other people (being rejected or cheated on, for instances) may be projected onto sexuality and have an influence on that person's future sexual lifestyle, or not.
But in any case the reasons why an individual chooses a characteristic lifestyle depends on that person's complex mentality alone, and cannot be answered in general. This is why I will not discuss possible reasons for different sexual lifestyles here. Two different persons living seemingly one and the same lifestyle may each have their own very different set of reasons.

Sexual Lifestyles versus Relationship Models

Often we hear or read of a "Cuckold" or "Hotwife" relationship, or the traditional monogamous marriage as a more normative relationship model. It is widespread to speak of "monogamy" versus "non-monogamy" or "closed" versus "open" relationships. That approach seems problematic because it does not clearly reflect the relationships well and even less the individuals in those relationships. For instance, an open relationship may be open on one side, the other or both. A one-sided open relationship can better be explained by looking at the two individuals in that relationship and their individual lifestyles, with one being "monogamous" and the other being "non-monogamous" in this example. We cannot clearly identify a relationship as a polyamorous or swinging one because one partner may be polyamorous or a swinger while the other partner need not.
That's why I am going to use an individual-centered approach to describing lifestyles instead a relationship-centered one.

On another sidenote, a relationship is the bond between two individuals. A throuple, for instance, is not a relationship but rather the combination of three individuals in three distinct relationships. (But, depending on the involved person's closeness, the triple as a whole may in addition to the three base relations also have characteristics of a relationship itself.)

A commonly used approach to describe sexual (or adult?) lifestyles looks as follows...

Diagram 4. A brief overview of Adult Lifestyles

...well, except that "cheating" is often not mentioned as a lifestyle. Also a single person is typically not considered to be a "lifestyler" which seems inaccurate considering there are single people who take part in swinging, or considering the idea that lifesyles can be any defined style of living which obviously must include people who are single by choice as well.
The hierarchical approach of distinguishing monogamy from an adult lifestyle is merely historical. If we take an analytic approach that does not rely on judgements we have to acknowledge that monogamy is yet another lifestyle choice that exists alongside many others. Therefore a more suitable classification system will be used hereafter.

But first let us look into the differences of a "Sexual Lifestyle" and the more general term of an "Adult Lifestyle".

Sexual Lifestyles versus Adult Lifestyles

As indicated in the previous paragraph we can classify lifestyles by looking at the number of relationships (quantity) a person has (zero, one or many). But nothing has been said so far about the quality of those relationships if any. And yet from real life experiences we know that a purely sexual relationship (like a FWB, for instance) and an emotional, romantic commited relationship (like a marriage, for instance) involve quite different types of bonds. This observation brings up the aspect of relationship or bond quality.

A bond quality can be of a purely sexual nature, a purely emotional nature or anything in between. To include also bonds that are purely emotional the term "Sexual Lifestyles" is not sufficient. Also we have to acknowledge that asexual people do exist. In order to also include those people and relationships the more general term "Adult Lifestyles" is being introduced.

The results of these observations can be depicted as follows...


Diagram 5. Single Adult Lifestyles


Diagram 6. Adult Lifestyle Relations

A discussion of these diagrams is going to follow, if appreciated by the B2w community.
Also, as announced, the differentiation between a polyamorous wife, a swinging wife and a Vixen is going to be presented.


Please, comment, critisize, give your personal insights and opinions. Thank you all.

 

[mywayintermsofsex]

(...) So I am curious to read more and see how you end up laying this out... One very messy (pun intended) Venn diagram

Sorry, no venn-diagram yet. But i am almost sure it will follow. And yes, it will be a messy one.

 

[georgia and d]

wife said she like long term relationship with one man instead of many men fucking her off swinging sites, one guy was staying with us he was a close friend, first night georgia said like him and me fuck her, after that she would ask me to ask him fuck her, talking she said like go into his bedroom every morning naked get into bed with him, said first morning got in beside him he was naked his cock hard ,before this wife said would like him fuck her after i told her he said will come home with me, she went to bed i told him she told me will fuck him on couch, pulling out his cock hard, went upstairs told georgia he waiting told her his cock hard will like him fuck her cock is big and thick waiting for her, said will let him fuck her because i said she could wearing just my shirt tits and pussy on display nipples erect, i heard her say to him wants kiss, moaning loudly pussy making loud wet sounds as he fingered her, told him cant its to thick, heard couch hitting against wall she was saying yes yes fuck me, another guy told him only like him fuck her met him several times would love friday nights when he come, told him if he liked do anything sexually she would like him do it to her

 

[NewArabSw]

Good question,
we always have questions about how long the relationship will last

 

[AndrewSims]

You put a lot of work into this!

 

[artgirl]

Interesting, looks like you covered all the bases. I don't seem to fit on any of your graphs 100%. I find i fit on two out of three of the options in a couple places, makes me think of that song two out of three ain't bad.