It's on her mind, but having trouble getting her comfortable enough to explore it...

[Bcar232425]

Hi all,

I've come to this site for some advice on how to help my wife feel comfortable enough to open up to this idea. She's dated black guys exclusively before me, and she has crushes on several black athletes, loves 90's hip hop and R&B (who doesn't, but still...), which we often fuck to and she loves it, and when we watch porn for fun every now and then, you can imagine what gets her off the quickest and hardest.

I'll even talk dirty to her about this idea and she gets off pretty easily.

BUT, she's a shy/submissive type and she's clearly worried about my feelings. Which is great, and she's awesome for that. But I'm not the jealous/insecure type. And I'm 100% secure in the bedroom and she's plenty aware of that. I'm just trying to let her have some fun as sort of a 'gift.'

I have no intentions of pushing my agenda on her, so we've only briefly talked about it. Her response are usually "I'm not interested in some other dude, I just want you."

Now, we've done some fun/risky stuff before, that she loved...driving down the highway with her panties off, legs on the dashboard, playing with herself in a skirt. Other stuff like that. So she has an adventurous side.

With that history, I was wondering if anyone (women, couples, men) have had similar experiences and had some advice as to how to see if I can release that fantasy for her and me, or if - given what you know - this is something that she clearly wants to stay in her mind only. Totally cool if that's the case, but I just want to explore some options if anyone has any ideas.

 

[Janus Marko]

I have the exact same problem Bcar. Despite her having fucked over 40-50 black guys in the past (including at least 10 of them during the first year+ of us dating), she is VERY hesitant to do it again no matter how much she knows I would like it.

She has multiple times in the past said how much she loves me for understanding and accepting her 'need' to be fucked by BBC, and really likes how much I like it. And it has become a relatively regular part of our sex that she and I talk about it and her doing it again. She has even flirted with guys she used to fuck and sent me pictures of their texts. And it is undeniable that our BEST sex is when she talks about it.

I have a voice recording of one of the first times she opening talked about it. We were both a little wine ******* and she was stroking me. Suddenly she said, "So you like it when its in my pussy? Do you like it when it cums in my pussy?" With me responding to each question with an affirmative "Mhmm". Then she said, "Me too. How's that make you feel?" Me, "What?" Her, "That I want black dick cumming inside me." Me, "It is hot!" Her, "You are really hard right now." I came pretty hard right away.

But unfortunately she is caught up in the, "But I love you and don't want anyone else for real." She claims she just talks about it to excite me, but her body doesn't lie. Every time she opens up so much she can almost take my fist and can take a hug 10" black dildo to the hilt.

I am not sure she will ever do it, and maybe it is really just a fantasy, but still fucking hot talking about it. And I am painfully in need for her to take BBC again. Hopefully it will happen, but I will love her either way.

 

[Bcar232425]

I totally get the danger of them not wanting to hurt the relationship, and not wanting it to be real for that reason. It's just sex, and the number of relationships that get messed up due to trying nothings like this is high, I imagine.

In other words, it's not worth the risk to them. Which, again, I get.

But I think there's a way for it to something that is an open, honest part of a relationship. If it's on her mind, and somewhere deep down she has fantasies about it, etc. then I want to be a part of that. Just the same way that I don't want to keep the fact that ocasionally I like to watch porn from her. It shouldn't be some secret we keep from each other, but instead, something intimate. We can share even these thoughts and feelings with each other. The kind of things no one else knows about us but each other.

I want her to feel comfortable exploring that, and I want to find a way to do it slowly and steadily, so she is comfortable and knows it's not harming our relationship; it's helping it.

 

[Bcar232425]

But I'm also trying to constantly take stock as to how much of this is something I want her to experience with me, and how much is just me wanting to re-enact my own porn. I've done a lot of thinking about that, and so far I feel confident that's not the case, but I also don't want to act like I'm oblivious to that.

 

[HollyWorny]

I just sent this to Holly:

https://www.blacktowhite.net/threads/experienced-couple-women’s-story.139081/

She loved it, maybe do the same.