Yes, I understand your point, but you agree that surely you enjoyed sucking those cocks more than they did.
No, I don't agree with that. They didn't have me do it because they hated it. They did it because they get off on being dominant or having a couple serve them. They may be in better shape or be better endowed than I am, and I can applaud their workout efforts or acknowledge their giftedness and physique, but I'm no more sexually attracted to them than they are to me. Another man's reasons for deciding to blur those lines and explore taboo situations with us is no more or less valid than mine. We can both engage in power play or doing kinky stuff in the context of my wife's pure enjoyment and satisfaction.
I think there are a lot of guys who fall into a submissive mindset because of self esteem issues. They can use serving others to justify having desires they have been conditioned to believe are wrong (like bisexuality, or cross-dressing, for example), or because their perception of their own appearance, size, stamina, prowess, etc. makes it difficult for them to see any value in what they bring to the table sexually. If forums like these are any indication, there seems to be a pattern where some men gradually get themselves to believe that emasculation or servitude is all they deserve. You can frequently find posts talking about "the future for all white bois," or, "white husbands should all be locked up and pussy free."
There's nothing wrong with fantasizing, but it's worth pointing out that people who speak in such absolutes are often not representative of the people actually living this lifestyle. There are a lot of guys who are perfectly secure, with happy wives, and simply enjoy being submissive. You just might not see them being as vocal in forums like these. Around here, a lady might ask a question about online etiquette, or how other couples react to receiving dick pics from potential playmates, and inevitably she'll get responses from lonely, perpetually single men posting unsolicited nudes and inviting strangers to make fun of their "tiny worthless boi clitty." One member of a couple might be processing a desire their partner recently communicated, or asking for advice from people who've already experienced something they've recently decided to start exploring, and the thread eventually becomes littered with responses like, "lock your husband's worthless white dick up and become black only," or "he should only have access to your pussy to lick your black lover's cum out of it." Again, there's absolutely nothing wrong with fantasizing, but to me it's unfortunate how often it's done in such an overbearing and unsolicited way, that ignores the original poster's points and immediately makes all conversations about this archetype of self-loathing, sexually confused men with an inferiority complex. No wonder this lifestyle is so misunderstood.
In my opinion, saying it's "more gay" for the white guy to service a black man, or "submissive husbands are bisexual, but dominant bulls who have those husbands suck them are still straight," implies that there is something wrong with being bi or being submissive (or both), or that tops are less sexually deviant than bottoms. Otherwise, why even make the distinction? If both types are equally ok, why worry about who is "more bisexual?" To me, saying, "don't worry black men, you won't be gay or bi if you let a submissive guy serve you, but HE will be," sounds a lot like Cartman saying, "don't be so hard on yourself, Kyle! You're not a Jew."
On Kinsey's scale, I'm in the "mostly heterosexual with some homosexual tendencies" category. I'm not attracted to men. What I do enjoy is submission, having others push my comfort zones a bit, maybe some subjugating role play. I enjoy giving up my sexual autonomy to my wife, and those she chooses to involve in our kink play. I have engaged in fluffing, cleaning up, and various other submissive activities. My thrill in those situations comes from giving pleasure, being used, and challenging social norms and prejudices. Since men don't turn me on outside of this context, I don't consider myself very bi at all, but I'm not offended if others decide I must be bi, because I think being bi is just fine. I just don't feel that labels like "bisexual" or "gay" accurately encapsulate my sexual preferences. I don't ask men to let me suck their dicks (unless maybe I'm told to), and we don't play this way with men who aren't into it, every bit as enthusiastically as we are.
The ones who ARE into it have said pretty much the same thing. Most don't consider themselves bi, because they're attracted to my wife, not me. But they're also playing with power dynamics, dominance and submission, or doing what feels good to everyone in the moment. Some are aroused because my wife is obviously getting off on it. Some are turned on by the idea of contributing to our fantasies or experiences as a couple. Some see how open and in love we are, and are turned on by the sparks that fly when they're invited into our dynamic to engage with both of us. That might make them "bisexual" to some, but I'm pretty sure they're all secure enough not to care what labels other people want to slap on them.
We've even met a couple bulls who actually consider themselves bisexual. They are still every bit as dominant and "alpha" as those who don't. We've only had a chance to play with one of them, but discussing possibilities with guys like that is in some cases even hotter to us, as a couple with a straight but submissive male, than when they're 100% strictly straight. Like, "you may not be into dudes, baby, but you better get ready to suck one, because my new bull likes both men and women, and he plans to have his way with both of us. I want to keep him happy so he'll keep fucking me, so you better do a good job!" By your logic,
@Homelander, am I more bi than that guy?
But let's assume you're only talking about guys who identify as straight or mostly straight. Hypothetically, if my wife has a bull who prefers playing with couples to single women, because he enjoys the cuckold or bdsm dynamic, and enjoys making me suck him to get him ready to fuck my wife in front of me, why is that "less bi" than my side of that equation? He and I are both physically aroused by my wife and not each other, but willing to explore that gray area in the context of this play style. We're both aroused by getting her off, she is aroused getting to act on her attraction to another man while dominating me, and we all three enjoy exploring the sexual energy that occurs when we all play as a group within that scope. If that's all any of us wants, how am I more bisexual than the bull?