Introducing myself and our current situation

[AdamLannoy]

I'm a 42yo Dutch male who more and more fails to satisfy his 42yo wife. I often don’t get hard for here partylt because we’ve been together for 14 years now and partly because of physical problems. If I can get erect I cum very quick.

I told her about three years ago I'd be totally okay if she would like things to go further than just talks if she meets a nice guy. She wasn't shocked, but surprised and asked me "what if I fall in love? do you want to meet other women too?" I replied I only want her to enjoy life more, her body and meet new people as we both know she likes the excitement it brings.

We had two more talks like that during the years whenever we had a serious conversations about our lives and what she misses at the moment as we’re clearly in our “taking care of our sprouts years”. She said it was "open-minded, sweet, etc" so I thought we were heading into the right direction.

About six months ago she made the clear statement that she doesn't like "this stupid idea". I felt really disappointed and didn’t see any chance to ever get this thing started.

One night when I failed to get hard again, she turned around after sucking my cock that stayed soft. We talked later that night and she had this unexpected response to my statement that I think our sex life has become a bit boring. She said “bringing in an other guy just takes too much energy for me too organize”. I said she might be wrong as many young guys desire to have sex with a woman her age. She said she had noticed younger men looking at her now and then but she thinks having sex with much younger guys is risky as they might fall in love and bring a lot of drama with them.

This is it for now. Will add whenever I see a change.

 

[worshipu9]

I'm a 42yo Dutch male who more and more fails to satisfy his 42yo wife. I often don’t get hard for here partylt because we’ve been together for 14 years now and partly because of physical problems. If I can get erect I cum very quick.

I told her about three years ago I'd be totally okay if she would like things to go further than just talks if she meets a nice guy. She wasn't shocked, but surprised and asked me "what if I fall in love? do you want to meet other women too?" I replied I only want her to enjoy life more, her body and meet new people as we both know she likes the excitement it brings.

We had two more talks like that during the years whenever we had a serious conversations about our lives and what she misses at the moment as we’re clearly in our “taking care of our ******* years”. She said it was "open-minded, sweet, etc" so I thought we were heading into the right direction.

About six months ago she made the clear statement that she doesn't like "this stupid idea". I felt really disappointed and didn’t see any chance to ever get this thing started.

One night when I failed to get hard again, she turned around after sucking my cock that stayed soft. We talked later that night and she had this unexpected response to my statement that I think our sex life has become a bit boring. She said “bringing in an other guy just takes too much energy for me too organize”. I said she might be wrong as many young guys desire to have sex with a woman her age. She said she had noticed younger men looking at her now and then but she thinks having sex with much younger guys is risky as they might fall in love bringing a lot of drama.

This is it for now. Will add whenever I see a change.

Bringing another guy, especially a younger man into the relationship, brings a whole new dynamic into your relationship.
Be prepared for her to change in many ways but ways which you will probably love.
Communication between both of you is the key factor in making this work.
Of course, feelings do come into it and there is always the chance she may fall for him.
But that my friend is the choice we must make.
Whatever you both decide, make Her the priority. Give her all you love and attention. Compliment her always, especially tell her she never been sexier (if she does go through with it).
I'm happy to chat in private should you wish.

 

[luckyman64]

In my opinion you guys need to communicate more. You, like most guys, are looking at this from the sex only angle, and her responses are clearly not sex only. She seems to be already anticipating an emotional connection. Make sure she understands this is a loving gesture on your behalf, and that it’s important for you that she is sexually fulfilled, but you want to be her only “love”. Then if it proceeds the third party clearly understands this.

 

[AdamLannoy]

I really appreciate your honest replies, perspectives and advice.

She often says the years of being twenty something and the excitement of going out, meeting new people, getting attention of men, flirting are over. It’s not normal to do so at our age and as parents according to her.

My reply is always that she shouldn’t worry too much about what others may think and that she’s not 75. There’s nothing wrong with having a good time in a bar, pub or whatsoever. Everyone needs an escape now and then. It’s about enjoying life and if that may lead to some kind of intimacy then those 15 to 30 minutes of sex with a relative stranger won’t impact our marriage that quickly in my opinion.

One time she said “well maybe for you, but I might block sexually for you.” I said she should make a clear distinction between sex and love, but she told me that’s not that easy for her. Falling in love won’t be a problem for me I said, because it only lasts maybe 6 months in general. After that you see the guys’ shortcomings and not so nice aspects of his character. Just enjoy it.

 

[zvega]

I really appreciate your honest replies, perspectives and advice.

She often says the years of being twenty something and the excitement of going out, meeting new people, getting attention of men, flirting are over. It’s not normal to do so at our age and as parents according to her.

My reply is always that she shouldn’t worry too much about what others may think and that she’s not 75. There’s nothing wrong with having a good time in a bar, pub or whatsoever. Everyone needs an escape now and then. It’s about enjoying life and if that may lead to some kind of intimacy then those 15 to 30 minutes of sex with a relative stranger won’t impact our marriage that quickly in my opinion.

One time she said “well maybe for you, but I might block sexually for you.” I said she should make a clear distinction between sex and love, but she told me that’s not that easy for her. Falling in love won’t be a problem for me I said, because it only lasts maybe 6 months in general. After that you see the guys’ shortcomings and not so nice adjectives of his character. Just enjoy it.

I think you’re making excellent points. I hope she hears you and believes in you.
It may be encouraging that she hasn’t given you an absolute no, never. Unless I missed that.

Good luck. Don’t pressure her, but keep low-key reassuring her that you’re thinking about her sexual life.

 

[Naughtygators]

From the mix of fellas you can find on here, 42yo is a pretty average age. At most, a young bull might be mid 30s. Yes there are some young bucks out there, but she will most likely enjoy a 30-50yo bull. You get a bull that knows what their role is and most likely won’t let emotions develop. We’ve made friends w our past bulls, but we generally limit play to very few week or more. Occasional chatting to maintain a friendship, but they aren’t deep emotional conversations. Also consider joining her if play ever happens. It doesn’t need to be in a cuck role. I enjoy watching and participating in those 3somes and it brings us together afterwards. It also allows you two to build the relationship while the bull remains in that 3rd wheel position.

My wife has never complained about being found attractive by other men. Most importantly, be patient w her. Try to find some sexy situations to get into. Find some sex clubs where the two of you can enjoy these sexy situations together. Watch porn together…. Sex may not be as important to her as it is to you or you think it is to her. Also understand she may feel bad and partially responsible for you not being able to get erect.

The answer to most of this is talking more and being patient.

 

[AdamLannoy]

It is certainly true more communication and honesty would bring us a lot further. But it isn’t a topic you easily start about during the day. Besides that, she seems to be only comfortable in having a conversation about it when she’s tipsy and we had some kind of sex.

I encourage her implicitly to talk about men we see on television during the Olympics, when visiting the beach or other social venues. This weekend she had some small talk with a dad on the beach and said afterwards that she can’t understand “this nice guy ends up with such a woman”. I think that is some progress too: not ashamed to say he’s good looking and he deserves better.

When on vacation we had a stop in an area with a lot of people with Turkish roots. I know she feels attracted to some men from the Middle East. We had to wait for our food in a take away restaurant. The guy was clearly interested in her. Whenever he had to do something he always looked at her in between whatever he did. At some point I asked her what she likes about this type of guys. She said their skin color, their often small and trimmed beard, but also their dominant behavior.

I knew she noticed the guy looking at her by her facial expression. When I mentioned that weeks later, she said she didn’t know or see that. So she’s still somewhat uncomfortable to elaborate on it. I know thereby patience is key.

 

[bestwife]

Bringing another guy, especially a younger man into the relationship, brings a whole new dynamic into your relationship.
Be prepared for her to change in many ways but ways which you will probably love.
Communication between both of you is the key factor in making this work.
Of course, feelings do come into it and there is always the chance she may fall for him.
But that my friend is the choice we must make.
Whatever you both decide, make Her the priority. Give her all you love and attention. Compliment her always, especially tell her she never been sexier (if she does go through with it).
I'm happy to chat in private should you wish.

My wife just started dating a guy 25 years younger then me. She had completely fallen for him. They went to costa rica for 5 days. She came back with a suitcase full of her dirty lingerie. She didn't have pictures of them fucking. But she showed me pictures of his cock that she seemed to like a lot.

I have never been so turned on.

 

[AdamLannoy]

You’re very lucky then. A little bit of jealousy here… The wife being absent for that period and knowing she’s getting what she rightfully deserves and obviously needs.

I assume you asked her 100’s of questions how it was, what he did, what she wore, where they went, etc. What you did with her dirty lingerie?

 

[bestwife]

You’re very lucky then. A little bit of jealousy here… The wife being absent for that period and knowing she’s getting what she rightfully deserves and obviously needs.

I assume you asked her 100’s of questions how it was, what he did, what she wore, where they went, etc. What you did with her dirty lingerie?

Unfortunately she is fairly hesitant to share many details. i have to really bribe her to get details. She wouldn't tell me about how many times she came. But when she indicated it was the best sex, she saw i was getting so hard in my pajamas that she showed me his pictures including his nice cock.

He lives far away so it was really hot for her to go on vacation with him. She lied about being with a guy at first but eventually confessed.

I bought her a couple sets of really hot (expensive) lingerie -- i think she realizes i want her to fuck him again next time she goes away I'm packing her a lingerie bag

 

[bestwife]

You’re very lucky then. A little bit of jealousy here… The wife being absent for that period and knowing she’s getting what she rightfully deserves and obviously needs.

I assume you asked her 100’s of questions how it was, what he did, what she wore, where they went, etc. What you did with her dirty lingerie?

She cleaned and saved all the lingerie.

I did try on one set of garters, stockings and a choker just imagining what her gorgeous body felt like as his good size dick entered her.

 

[zvega]

They went to costa rica for 5 days.

You probably can’t count high enough to really know how many times your wife got fucked in those 5 days

 

[eyespy07]

I'm a 42yo Dutch male who more and more fails to satisfy his 42yo wife. I often don’t get hard for here partylt because we’ve been together for 14 years now and partly because of physical problems. If I can get erect I cum very quick.

I told her about three years ago I'd be totally okay if she would like things to go further than just talks if she meets a nice guy. She wasn't shocked, but surprised and asked me "what if I fall in love? do you want to meet other women too?" I replied I only want her to enjoy life more, her body and meet new people as we both know she likes the excitement it brings.

We had two more talks like that during the years whenever we had a serious conversations about our lives and what she misses at the moment as we’re clearly in our “taking care of our sprouts years”. She said it was "open-minded, sweet, etc" so I thought we were heading into the right direction.

About six months ago she made the clear statement that she doesn't like "this stupid idea". I felt really disappointed and didn’t see any chance to ever get this thing started.

One night when I failed to get hard again, she turned around after sucking my cock that stayed soft. We talked later that night and she had this unexpected response to my statement that I think our sex life has become a bit boring. She said “bringing in an other guy just takes too much energy for me too organize”. I said she might be wrong as many young guys desire to have sex with a woman her age. She said she had noticed younger men looking at her now and then but she thinks having sex with much younger guys is risky as they might fall in love and bring a lot of drama with them.

This is it for now. Will add whenever I see a change.

Thanks for posting about your current situation. First of all, I would ask: have you spoken with your doctor about your physical problems? Sounds like you might have ED and/or cardiovascular issues. There are treatments including certain medications that might really help you. Second, and I've come across this very frequently (and I find it extremely exhausting) is when some women reach a particular age, they assume they are no longer attractive to the opposite sex. They assume they are too old, or that feel fat all over, and/or stop caring about their appearance. Do not let your wife believe these things at all. Give her genuine compliments that boost her confidence. Tell her she's still very gorgeous. If she remarks about her ass being too big, you can say something along the lines of, "Good! I like you thick and these days, the young guys love that, too!" "Black men love curvy women." This is 100% true no matter where you live. Have you taken her on dates and asked her to wear more revealing outfits? The idea is to keep the spark of passion going in your marriage. Definitely let her know that you absolutely still love her.

Bottomline, don't let your wife fall into a negative train of thought or develop a depressive/apathetic attitude. It's like quicksand and will wear on your patience and your marriage. We're all getting older, yes but it's not the end of the world. Have you suggested she chat with men on here while you watch? To me, there's something holding her back. Can't wait for more updates. Don't give up, my friend.

 

[bestwife]

You probably can’t count high enough to really know how many times your wife got fucked in those 5 days

True

 

[coupledenice]

I'm a 42yo Dutch male who more and more fails to satisfy his 42yo wife. I often don’t get hard for here partylt because we’ve been together for 14 years now and partly because of physical problems. If I can get erect I cum very quick.

I told her about three years ago I'd be totally okay if she would like things to go further than just talks if she meets a nice guy. She wasn't shocked, but surprised and asked me "what if I fall in love? do you want to meet other women too?" I replied I only want her to enjoy life more, her body and meet new people as we both know she likes the excitement it brings.

We had two more talks like that during the years whenever we had a serious conversations about our lives and what she misses at the moment as we’re clearly in our “taking care of our sprouts years”. She said it was "open-minded, sweet, etc" so I thought we were heading into the right direction.

About six months ago she made the clear statement that she doesn't like "this stupid idea". I felt really disappointed and didn’t see any chance to ever get this thing started.

One night when I failed to get hard again, she turned around after sucking my cock that stayed soft. We talked later that night and she had this unexpected response to my statement that I think our sex life has become a bit boring. She said “bringing in an other guy just takes too much energy for me too organize”. I said she might be wrong as many young guys desire to have sex with a woman her age. She said she had noticed younger men looking at her now and then but she thinks having sex with much younger guys is risky as they might fall in love and bring a lot of drama with them.

This is it for now. Will add whenever I see a change.

Hi Adam, thank you for sharing your position here.
I hope that in time, you guys both get to enjoy your (sex) life more, and in a way that feels comfortable for you both.
I believe your goal here is to have your wife enjoy her life more? And to spice things up for yourself at the same time?
What makes me wonder about your post is whether or not your wife shares the same problem and desire as you do, i.e. is she bored about things as well? And does she feel inhibited by her -understandable- caution for drama, in a way that she actually experiences any (sexual) tension between her caution and her own fantasies or real desires? Have you guys discussed or explored this?
Has she actually expressed any real sexual desire herself involving another guy in any way?
If i read correctly, your wife said that she disliked the thought and finds it a ‘stupid idea’.
When she told you that it would take too much energy organizing contact with another man, it seemed to me that she said that in a pretty negative context/situation? And that she only adressed it because of your desire or concerns after you expressed your discontent? And again she argumented that she does not want to.
That could be just my (mis)interpretation.

Could there be more ways of exploring how to spice things up together? Aside from having her be with another guy in case she does not want to engage in this herself?
Could there be more/other ways of exploring your wife’s sexuality together if and up to the degree that she really wants to herself?

 

[JJNSFW]

Ben wel benieuwd naar haar

 

[Stevens]

One night when I failed to get hard again, she turned around after sucking my cock that stayed soft. We talked later that night and she had this unexpected response to my statement that I think our sex life has become a bit boring. She said “bringing in an other guy just takes too much energy for me too organize”. I said she might be wrong as many young guys desire to have sex with a woman her age. She said she had noticed younger men looking at her now and then but she thinks having sex with much younger guys is risky as they might fall in love and bring a lot of drama with them.

This is it for now. Will add whenever I see a change.

My wife was "in love" with other guys twice during our 30 year marriage (Still going strong). We can debate the concept of what "in love" means, but when I expressed concern about the impact on our marriage she assured me our marriage was safe - absolutely safe. "I can love two men," she said, "if you can handle it. It it's too much for you we can break it off (meaning she'd stop seeing her BF). So that's how we went forward as he became a regular in our lives. But it takes a great deal of effort to "organize" the way the relationship works, especially when both of you have jobs, and there's family, etc. etc. The two of you will have to work at it! And yes, we found that younger guys do bring drama with them. Especially married ones. We decided that "younger" guys (meaning early twenties) would be a one-off (well, three or four times, actually....) thing, so my wife could enjoy their hard bodies but avoid the drama. Our S.O.P. has always been married gentlemen, about our age. Waking up in the morning with somebody she had something in common with (besides sex) has always been important to her. The "younger" guys are at a different place in life....

 

[Ips]

I'm a 42yo Dutch male who more and more fails to satisfy his 42yo wife. I often don’t get hard for here partylt because we’ve been together for 14 years now and partly because of physical problems. If I can get erect I cum very quick.

I told her about three years ago I'd be totally okay if she would like things to go further than just talks if she meets a nice guy. She wasn't shocked, but surprised and asked me "what if I fall in love? do you want to meet other women too?" I replied I only want her to enjoy life more, her body and meet new people as we both know she likes the excitement it brings.

We had two more talks like that during the years whenever we had a serious conversations about our lives and what she misses at the moment as we’re clearly in our “taking care of our sprouts years”. She said it was "open-minded, sweet, etc" so I thought we were heading into the right direction.

About six months ago she made the clear statement that she doesn't like "this stupid idea". I felt really disappointed and didn’t see any chance to ever get this thing started.

One night when I failed to get hard again, she turned around after sucking my cock that stayed soft. We talked later that night and she had this unexpected response to my statement that I think our sex life has become a bit boring. She said “bringing in an other guy just takes too much energy for me too organize”. I said she might be wrong as many young guys desire to have sex with a woman her age. She said she had noticed younger men looking at her now and then but she thinks having sex with much younger guys is risky as they might fall in love and bring a lot of drama with them.

This is it for now. Will add whenever I see a change.

As you say, it’s a risk but the outcome could be very positive for the both of you. If she’s your loving hot wife, she’ll make you a happy cuck watching his wife in orgasm paradise. Make your bet.

 

[AdamLannoy]

Unfortunately she is fairly hesitant to share many details. i have to really bribe her to get details. She wouldn't tell me about how many times she came. But when she indicated it was the best sex, she saw i was getting so hard in my pajamas that she showed me his pictures including his nice cock.

He lives far away so it was really hot for her to go on vacation with him. She lied about being with a guy at first but eventually confessed.

I bought her a couple sets of really hot (expensive) lingerie -- i think she realizes i want her to fuck him again next time she goes away I'm packing her a lingerie bag

Thanks for your reply and sharing your current situation here.

Count your blessings with such an adventurous lady. One of the things that drives me crazy is the idea of advising her on her outfit, helping her to dress and seeing her walk away to be enjoyed in that particular outfit by a guy I don’t even know.

I know my wife would not be comfortable telling me all kinds of details about the sex she would had had with a guy. That would come with time.

 

[AdamLannoy]

She cleaned and saved all the lingerie.

I did try on one set of garters, stockings and a choker just imagining what her gorgeous body felt like as his good size dick entered her.

Quite a confession to make here lol. Did that need to wear her clothes come as an impulsive thought or you always fantasized about doing this whenever she would be shared?