I am a coward

Anon-iec

Couple
Hello Site,
Coming to the light after decades of lurking.

I am coward.
I have fell in love to the Kristen Archives back in the early days, and I was soon hooked on: from reluctant wifes, slowly growing to loving it, to explicit cuckolding, IR and some other nice extreme niches.

During the last decade, among other things I managed to let my girlfriend know of my BBC oriented porn consumption (nothing extreme mentioned to her) which I also showed her periodically, get her hooked on stretching her pussy, leading up to 4 fingers deep normally, and the occasional finger(s) next to my cock. It. Was. Incredible.
She is not really fond of the race aspect of the porn, and claims that too big cocks are not her thing. I beg to differ.
I also sow some seeds in her mind about a possible threesome, and while originally she meant FFM, I reassured her of my interest in a possible MFM, and occasionally even hinting at MMF. And then it came fruition.

We started having some discussion on opening things up, at least getting our toes wet a bit, but nothing was actively done, except the occasional fantasizing about MFM threesomes.
So all was set up, and then one day, she come home from work, and says that her extremely slutty girlfriend suggest to her that if she is ever going to try having threesome, she should try it without me being present, as to have herself concentrate on her experience for the first time.

I was shocked. Here I am, with the opportunity of a lifetime.
But I backed out. While I still don't know if that slutty girlfriend of hers were seeing through me, and actually wanted to help me fulfill my desires, I felt it was a way too big intrusion into our inner emotions and stuff.
I made a good reasoning to her, and she accepted my points and don't bring the subject up.

Well except that every month she has wild dreams of threesome, sometimes be not even being there.
So here I am, that's me. I am not sure if I want to actively push this forwards, but I have a feeling that I might still have a widow of opportunity open.

Looking forward getting the site even better.
 
Forgot to mention that I brought the idea of chastity cages up to her, though only connected to manage my masturbation habit.
Didn't go anywhere, but she is generally open to listen these at least.
 
This isn’t too surprising. We were married for over 15 years before I got anywhere with our pillow talk and another 5 years before she had another dick. And it’s easier to fantasize than to do. You’re not a coward. You might be realizing that this will alter your relationship in ways you really aren’t sure you want to go.

We marched ahead and my wife has been with 65 black men now, had bf’s and basically fulfilled most of my fantasies as well as her own. You cannot unfuck someone so if you are unsure there is no shame. Keep it a fantasy until you are both ready, if ever.
 
Thanks for your input, this is exactly what happened.
But now the little devil is still whispering into my ears to push her forward.
As sub as she is, she would like it if eased - with consent eventually - into it.
At least the fucking around and the chastity.

And as I mentioned, the devil is on her shoulder as well, just yesterday she stated that if we weren't together, she would definitely try a MFM scenario, as it is always on her mind.
 
Don’t waste more time or the present opportunity/ interest.

Her GF is absolutely correct, she should start her experience without you present. It allows the women to concentrate on enjoying the moment without any thoughts/fears/distractions of you.

Easier said than done to find 2 beautiful Black Bulls, so she starts with one (super easy) and he is then asked to help her with the MFM.

At some point after she’s well experienced than she can decide to let you experience watching (as a gift from them to you) or to continue on with her Bull more naturally (without you).
 
It is not about letting her do it alone. Fuck, that would be dream coming true.
What caused the fear is the sudden jump into it - with the help of her slutty girlfriend - and I didn't felt like setting my relationship on fire.

Now seemingly we are started to ease into it back again with threesome dreams, and I am just pushing it a bit along for the time being.

How not to waste the opportunity, I am free for further suggestions, just I know my gf and she takes things slow.
Still writing all these down made me feel that we are already kinda kinky.

Regarding the long term one it would be a thrill to have me completely cut out of the experience, but I would like to facilitate further bonding with her to reassure my presense in the relationship.
 
Easier said than done to find 2 beautiful Black Bulls, so she starts with one (super easy) and he is then asked to help her with the MFM.
Sure, but as I also mentioned this before the second B in BBC is rather my kink: I have been open with her about my special kind of BBC porn consumption, and I even shared some with her way back.
She didn't really got hooked on the idea, so I let that marinade.

In my dream a first starting threesome would consist of a white (not me) and a black guy, with the black one being higher and better build. They gave her a good time, but then the white guy falls out (even hours later then I would). After that the black stud takes her, and they fuck through the night, even the morning the next day when the other guy has already left. Having her just been introduced to her first bull.
 
Dude. If you’re doing this for both your enjoyment …what do you get from her getting the 3some without you ? If what ever this is doesn’t meet both your needs….its not a good fit. It’ll only create negative feelings and resent. I’m a firm believer that you play to the lowest level you both have. You might get to the point that you’re ok with the her having a 3 some without you but work up to what you’re comfortable with. If she’s doesn’t respect that …she doesn’t respect you.
And be careful of any friends that’s push either of you past your boundaries. They don’t have to deal with the aftermath. Or anyone on here. Lots of guys want to create *******. Like seagulls. They ******* and move on.
You do what you’re comfortable with.
My wife would be on only fans if I was comfortable with it. I’m not. She may not love it but she respects me. And we’ve grown tremendously in what we’re comfortable with over the years. But communication and respect for each other is the pillar of remaining together when you’re opening yourselves up to other people. Good luck. Hope it works out.
 
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