This might almost seem a little existencial, but I want to get it off my chest.
I’m 31, white male, and I have had the white girl-bbc fantasy for well over a decade now.
Sometimes I try to figure out where it comes from, and figure out the psychology behind it. One of my theories is that because in my first serious relationship my girlfriend cheated on me and led me on, and I think I might have developed some type of jealousy-trauma that eventually led to the BBC cuck fantasy. Where the BBC came into the picture I have no idea, but I know that I love the thought of someone bigger, and I just think the big white asses with a big black cock is aesthetically pleasing and looks really fucking hot.
I had two real cuck experiences with my last ex-girlfriend and they were amazing, but I feel like now I’m stuck in an obsession with her, and I always look for porn with a girl that looks like her. I think about the night that I watched her get fucked by another guy in our bed, and I always regret that I didn’t film it (which i know she would have been cool with) and all I do is look for a video that looks like that night.
I don’t think my fantasy in itself is a problem, but my obsession with her might be, because she actually did it and then we broke up and I just imagine how hard it is to find someone like her again. (This was like 6 years ago)
Not that I don’t need to find someone exactly like her.
I’m not ashamed of my kink, and I love being open about my fantasies, but when I’m typing it out now it sounds like i might have a problem.
I haven’t dated much the last year, but in the past I have told girls about my fantasy and a lot of them have been open to it. I usually start off by telling them that I like to watch them take big black dildos and if it gets more serious I would explain the real fantasy which is watching them get fucked, but it hasn’t gone all the way with anyone since my ex.
When I try to imagine a relationship with someone now, I can’t help but feel like my fantasy is not something that can be ignored because it’s so strong and I don’t think I’ll ever get over it.
I don’t think I really NEED to watch my girlfriend get fucked, and maybe I should just be content with the dildo-play, and let the ultimate fantasy just be a fantasy. But I feel like it will always be there.
I have also drifted into the bnwo-stuff sometimes, and I think it’s hot, but at the same time it’s also pretty fucked up? If I watch stuff like that I catch myself thinking that I’m brainwashing myself, and I feel like some of the stuff has kind of planted itself, like when I see a confident, sexy, thick white girl with a big ass and juicy hips I can’t stop myself from thinking «she’s built for BBC» or sometimes I wish I was a big black guy so I could fuck PAWGS because they all need big black cock.
When I’m typing out this stuff it sounds so fucked up, but I also think it’s so fucking hot??
This is honestly just a rant, and I realize I’m just blurting out my thoughts, but I guess this might be the best place to do it. If anyone has any words of wisdom, any insights, or if you can relate I would love to hear your thoughts.. I love the fantasy and I also think the community is very positive and encouraging. I feel like people who embrace «the lifestyle», either because you just want to make your SO happy or if you both share the same fantasy is super cool and I respect you all.
For me right now as a single guy it’s all just a little confusing to be honest..
I’m 31, white male, and I have had the white girl-bbc fantasy for well over a decade now.
Sometimes I try to figure out where it comes from, and figure out the psychology behind it. One of my theories is that because in my first serious relationship my girlfriend cheated on me and led me on, and I think I might have developed some type of jealousy-trauma that eventually led to the BBC cuck fantasy. Where the BBC came into the picture I have no idea, but I know that I love the thought of someone bigger, and I just think the big white asses with a big black cock is aesthetically pleasing and looks really fucking hot.
I had two real cuck experiences with my last ex-girlfriend and they were amazing, but I feel like now I’m stuck in an obsession with her, and I always look for porn with a girl that looks like her. I think about the night that I watched her get fucked by another guy in our bed, and I always regret that I didn’t film it (which i know she would have been cool with) and all I do is look for a video that looks like that night.
I don’t think my fantasy in itself is a problem, but my obsession with her might be, because she actually did it and then we broke up and I just imagine how hard it is to find someone like her again. (This was like 6 years ago)
Not that I don’t need to find someone exactly like her.
I’m not ashamed of my kink, and I love being open about my fantasies, but when I’m typing it out now it sounds like i might have a problem.
I haven’t dated much the last year, but in the past I have told girls about my fantasy and a lot of them have been open to it. I usually start off by telling them that I like to watch them take big black dildos and if it gets more serious I would explain the real fantasy which is watching them get fucked, but it hasn’t gone all the way with anyone since my ex.
When I try to imagine a relationship with someone now, I can’t help but feel like my fantasy is not something that can be ignored because it’s so strong and I don’t think I’ll ever get over it.
I don’t think I really NEED to watch my girlfriend get fucked, and maybe I should just be content with the dildo-play, and let the ultimate fantasy just be a fantasy. But I feel like it will always be there.
I have also drifted into the bnwo-stuff sometimes, and I think it’s hot, but at the same time it’s also pretty fucked up? If I watch stuff like that I catch myself thinking that I’m brainwashing myself, and I feel like some of the stuff has kind of planted itself, like when I see a confident, sexy, thick white girl with a big ass and juicy hips I can’t stop myself from thinking «she’s built for BBC» or sometimes I wish I was a big black guy so I could fuck PAWGS because they all need big black cock.
When I’m typing out this stuff it sounds so fucked up, but I also think it’s so fucking hot??
This is honestly just a rant, and I realize I’m just blurting out my thoughts, but I guess this might be the best place to do it. If anyone has any words of wisdom, any insights, or if you can relate I would love to hear your thoughts.. I love the fantasy and I also think the community is very positive and encouraging. I feel like people who embrace «the lifestyle», either because you just want to make your SO happy or if you both share the same fantasy is super cool and I respect you all.
For me right now as a single guy it’s all just a little confusing to be honest..