As others have mentioned, the rules we have in place tend to change over time.
For us:
Both of us vet the guy (hasn't happened in a while)
Hubby always around at least until wife is comfortable (maybe in the room, usually nearby).
No guy to wife only contact until wife is comfortable, incredible how many guys couldn't get this
Not at our place and not where we live. Generally prefer neutral locations but 1 guy has an exception to this
No filming except on our phones
Condoms...generally yes, occasionally gets forgotten about.
Stop means stop, no second chances.
No real rules on what sex is allowed, if O is happy with it then it's fine for me.