Cuckolding vs Hotwifing, it's all a matter of a simple question.

[Idowives0763]

Over the years I've talked to a number of husbands/couples who were confused by the distinction between these 2 lifestyles. I can see where the confusion comes from because if you ask 10 different people, you're likely to get 10 different answers. Personally, I prefer to keep things simple. It's important not to distracted by which acts one may enjoy, cream pie eating, chastity, humiliation etc because those are simply kinks. Cuckolding is a dynamic where the female is in full control from a sexual standpoint. So if you're confused just ask yourself this.....

Your wife is in your bedroom with her lover. You are there taking pics. As they embrace, she looks at you and says, "leave and shut the door behind you". She doesn't ask you to leave, she tells you. What is your reaction? If you do as told, you are a cuckold couple. Congratulations.

I would love to hear from others on this. Your input is always welcome and appreciated.

 

[mywayintermsofsex]

i have posted a poll with this subject but guess it was on an other forum. After a runtime of a year or so it counted a few hundred participants, some from the lifestyle and many who wanted to be in the lifestyle. The result was that about 8 out of 10 voters said that the role of a "cuckold" within the lifestyle (not to be confused with other uses of the term, i.e. the dictionary definition, which is quite a different thing!) is "somewhat submissive".

However the level of submissiveness varied greatly depending on the participant`s points of views. It could be anything from giving (some) sexual power over him to the wife thru humiliation and degradation to full "enslavement" (please, don`t take this term literally!). Also the "power shift" could go in different directions.

Most described it as a shift toward his wife who could be the keyholder of his chastity device, for instance, or whatever. Some said, it was a shift toward the wife`s "bull", and many said toward both the wife and the "bull".

So you are right and i`d agree that a "cuckold" is (sexually) "controlled" to some extent by a Dom who in many (/most?) cases would be the wife, but in some cases would (also) be the "bull". (Would you not call him a "cuckold", if it was a couple where both of them were dominated and hence submissive to a third party?)

To distinguish the "cuckold" from another (similar?) lifestyle role, i would call a husband who`s role is "on equal" with his wife`s a "wifesharer" instead, which is also a well-known and often-used lifestyle term. It is typically used in other cases and for relationships with other dynamics than there are in the cuckold lifestyle.

...just my thoughts on the topic.

personal note: i would describe myself as a wifesharer rather than a cuckold.

 

[MacNfries]

Its not a matter of a simple question, actually, its a matter of anatomy, and its very simple ...

• cuckold - refers to a married man who's wife has other partners for sex
• hotwife - refers to a married woman who has sex with other men

Cuckolding has become just another spin on swinging, except with cuckolding only one partner swings, the other partner remains monogamous.
Possibly the women of married couples you've been with have shown a bit of control and disrespect towards their husbands, but that's not the normal. Its usually the married men who initiate the cuckolding and if his wife shows him disrespect, enjoys embarrassing him in from of her lover, or making him wear a cocklock, etc, its often in the script. What we read HERE are voluntary cuckolding, initiated by the married male. True cuckolding, which is nothing more than cheating or adultery by the wife, the cucked husbands aren't usually even aware their wives are cheating and certainly don't condone their cheating once they discover it.

 

[Idowives0763]

Just for the record, I'm not basing my conclusion on textbook definitions. My conclusion is simply based on real world data that I have collected in my 15 years in this lifestyle. In that time I have personally dealt with hundreds of couples of varying types, swingers, hotwives and cuckolds. This number is not an exaggeration because I have hosted hundreds of parties over the past 4.5 years. BBC parties, gangbang parties, cuckold parties etc. I think that gives me a large enough sample size to come to this conclusion. I know that there is a definition of what cuckolding is but it has now evolved into more than that.

 

[mywayintermsofsex]

Idowives is right, Mac is right, may i suggest i am right too?

 

[Idowives0763]

Idowives is right, Mac is right, may i suggest i am right too?

lol

 

[Larry48]

I have had that conversation with friend who wants his wife to cuck him and he ask me what I thought the difference was. Having been part of both at one time or another I can say there is a difference.

Hotwifing is basically wifesharing where the husband allows his wife to have other partners he watches, films, or take pics. He is really turned on by this and still has sex with his wife. With a couple I know the husband approves all partners videos and take pics. He controls the action and is there for all sessions.

In cuckolding the wife is dominant and many times the bull is dominant over the wife and husband. The cuck not only watches but waits on his wife and bull, taking care of their needs. The cuck is dominated and often time just follows orders of the wife to make sure she gets as much pleasure as possible. Often time the cuck enjoys it but not all the time.

Having been part of both I actually enjoy the hotwifing the most, but I don't mind the husband watching me fuck his wife, either say is pretty dam hot.

 

[Idowives0763]

Personally, Of the 2 I'd say that I enjoy cuckolding more because there is a more intense mental side to it and I am one who definitely enjoys a good mind fuck lol

 

[Larry48]

I have to admit that I have really enjoyed both. Something about the husband watching me fuck his wife that gets me going like nobody's business. For me that is the most intense side of it.

I am also enjoying this thread, thanks for getting this started Idowives0763. I am really enjoying the different mindsets and answers. Learning a lot...

 

[OnTheTown2]

Your wife is in your bedroom with her lover. You are there taking pics. As they embrace, she looks at you and says, "leave and shut the door behind you". She doesn't ask you to leave, she tells you. What is your reaction? If you do as told, you are a cuckold couple. Congratulations.

What if your wife doesn't say anything (other than "keep fucking me") and every so often the husband has a turn fucking her or getting blown while one of guys runs the camera or it gets put on a table to catch the action.

Not "reclaim sex" but a full participant in everything that goes on including setting the whole thing up?

Do the same people show up at both cuckold and Hotwife parties?

 

[mywayintermsofsex]

What if your wife doesn't say anything (other than "keep fucking me") and every so often the husband has a turn fucking her or getting blown while one of guys runs the camera or it gets put on a table to catch the action.

Not "reclaim sex" but a full participant in everything that goes on including setting the whole thing up?

i would call them plain swingers.

Do the same people show up at both cuckold and Hotwife parties?

This i can`t tell you, but ImO it`s a mistake to use terms like "cuckold" or "hotwife" for persons. Those are adult lifestyle roles. A role is taken by a person and not the person`s self.

One person may take on a role at a particular time or play and yet another at another time or play. Some people may make it "thier own" by living their lifestyle 24/7, but most won`t. i think in most cases couples live "ordinary" lives (also including their sex lives) most of the time, but may have their "special arrangements" every once in a while besides that.

 

[Marriedwife4bbc]

How would you explain our lifestyle!

I am BBC only branded queen of spades and get hubby (cuck) to find Bulls for me when I need to be pleasured. Hubby always watches, I dominate and humiliate him during my sex acts with Bulls! He serves and obeys only me but I will share dominance with his other superior such as BBC males and other queens! He does everything I tell him to do! He is permitted to fuck other women when he is a good sub as long as I can join!

 

[Idowives0763]

What if your wife doesn't say anything (other than "keep fucking me") and every so often the husband has a turn fucking her or getting blown while one of guys runs the camera or it gets put on a table to catch the action.

Not "reclaim sex" but a full participant in everything that goes on including setting the whole thing up?

Do the same people show up at both cuckold and Hotwife parties?

Based on what you described, I would simply see that as a hotwife/wifesharing dynamic.

Yes, I do get both types of couples at my parties, however, the cuckold couples are a little more low key. I find that often they will just appear as another hotwife type of couple but I know otherwise because I have had conversations with them or in some cases, been with them myself. I respect their privacy so I won't draw any unwanted attention their way. However, there have been more than a few instances where I will approach a cuckold husband and whisper something in his ear as his wife is getting fucked....maybe something like.."you could never give your wife what she is getting right now". Again, it's the art of the mindfuck that I enjoy so much about cuckolding.

 

[Idowives0763]

View attachment 1218582 How would you explain our lifestyle!

I am BBC only branded queen of spades and get hubby (cuck) to find Bulls for me when I need to be pleasured. Hubby always watches, I dominate and humiliate him during my sex acts with Bulls! He serves and obeys only me but I will share dominance with his other superior such as BBC males and other queens! He does everything I tell him to do! He is permitted to fuck other women when he is a good sub as long as I can join!

From where I sit, based on what you've described, you definitely fit the profile of a cuckold couple based on the fact that you're holding all the power from a sexual standpoint. Now, how you choose to wield that power is completely up to you. It sounds like you definitely have things the way you want them. Kudos to you.

 

[MissBrooke]

I would say the two tend to overlap a lot of the time. Being a Hot Wife often means that in the sport of it all you are telling your husband that you needed to find cock somewhere else or deny him sex in favor or someone else and that to me goes right into the cuckold lifestyle. I would say they each have their own definitions but work hand in hand.

 

[MacNfries]

I know that there is a definition of what cuckolding is but it has now evolved into more than that.

...This is most definitely true. Whereas it use to only pertain to a label put on a married man, now its a label put on either a man or a woman, married or not, where the couple assumed to be sexually monogamous. Married women, who have cheating husbands, now are referred to as having been "cuckolded", as have single couples where one partner has been cheated on is labeled "cuckolded". I've always tried to stay as close to the definition when discussing cuckolding simply because, as you mentioned, there are so many levels of opinions on what it really is. Imagine having a different understanding from what someone else considers the color RED. Or a jury where every member of a jury has a different definition or understanding of what a 1st degree ******* is. It simply makes coming to conclusions or even having logical discussions impossible.
...Members might wish to check out and consider the definition of the word wittol as a possible alternative labeling of a husband who encourages his spouse to have sex with other people.

 

[Idowives0763]

I would definitely agree with this. There is some overlap. Some couples transition between the 2 depending on their mood. Sometimes she may have full control, other times the husband may have it. At the end of the day labels don't matter. It's all about each individual couple or person doing what works best for them. I just state what I said to give people a more solid base so that they can better understand how all of this fits together.

 

[OnTheTown2]

Yes, I do get both types of couples at my parties, however, the cuckold couples are a little more low key. I find that often they will just appear as another hotwife type of couple but I know otherwise because I have had conversations with them or in some cases, been with them myself. I respect their privacy so I won't draw any unwanted attention their way. However, there have been more than a few instances where I will approach a cuckold husband and whisper something in his ear as his wife is getting fucked....maybe something like.."you could never give your wife what she is getting right now". Again, it's the art of the mindfuck that I enjoy so much about cuckolding.

Whenever I set up an encounter for Mrs O. I always hope she gets fucked in a way that I could never deliver... especially by myself. In the past it's only been black guys (and other women in occasion)
We have never attended a Hotwife or Cuckold party.

I do enjoy seeing other guys take control of her and incorporate her into their fantasies.

Maybe it's time to start thinking about that conversation?

 

[funcuple71]

Hello, female here. I agree that trying to put a label on someone's sexual preferences is very difficult to do because there are many overlapping traits. The thing I do not agree with, and I may be misunderstanding Mac's intentions, as messaging, texting, and writing can be harder to understand someone's meaning. I don't agree that someone is "cheating" when both parties are in agreement as to what is going on. If the wife is sleeping with 100 men per day and the husband is completely monogamous, or vice versa. If both are in agreement with the arrangement, both are aware of it, and both want it and accept it, it is not cheating. When it is done behind the other person's back, without their knowledge and/or acceptance, that's when the cheating label comes into play. That is my definition and understanding of cheating.
Otherwise, this is my first time here, nice to meet everyone. Hope to learn more, and contribute my own experiences, about different/alternative lifestyles.

 

[GAVnGIN]

Potatoe potahto
Who cares what its called so long as everyones having fun eh