Condom yes or no? Reply with photo!

I'm being palpably facetious here, but the question is genuine:

Say you get tested and you're negative for STDs, HIV, whatever. What do you do?
Do you carry around your test results paper, like a note from your doctor? At what point in the, er, lovemaking do you pause and proudly produce your "I'm clean" certificate?
Seriously, how does that work, because if I'm the other party I think I would also have to check the date of the test and then request the guy/lady to make a quick inventory of Sex Partners Since My Test...right?

Not being critical here, because I applaud the raw sexual passion of the creampie. I am just kinda alarmed, frankly, at the prevailing disregard for the risks of unprotected sex. Just sayin'.
 
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