Not sure if i would call that a "conservative wife".
But i wonder if you don't see that you are actually holding the keys in your own hands. You say it all...
1st: It is important that she completely trusts that you won't change your mind once it (her with another guy) becomes reality. (And can you definitely say you wouldn't?) She doesn't want to do anything that could threaten your relationship. That's a good thing!
2nd: You need to make her understand the difference between cheating and a couple's lifestyle! And i am not sure you 100% know that yourself. It is
never cheating if the partner knows and approves of it! But it can be wrongly perceived as such by an individual. Just look at your situation and how that line is interpreted by her. i know guys who would even be jealous of a toy(!) and ask themselves questions like "Is my dick not enough for
her?". - That's just to illustrate how differently "cheating" can be seen. From what you say, she accepts camming with someone else in your presence without thinking of it as cheating. Well, first, it is something you do as a couple with you, the husband, physically present. Second, there is no other dick
physically present but only on a screen that can be turned off at any given moment if it starts becoming uncomfortable.
i think there is a chance to adjust her thinking about what cheating really is, if you take small steps, building on what she is already accepting of. Most probably she won't go out alone on a date with another guy and see how that will work out. But she might be open to go further with your sexual play as a couple so long as some conditions are met. Imagine the following...
1. She trusts that it won't harm your relationship or change the way you think of her and/or your respect for her
2. She believes it won't become uncomfortable (which also means there has to be some level of trust and chemistry with the other guy)
3. It will actually be sex with you more than with the other man. And think of it: your online play with other guys is already an example. You are there and more involved than the other guy. But in the end she is already including another man in a way.
A threesome situation might be more appealing to her than "having sex with another man" while you are "only" watching... It would be sex
with you, just a special kinky type of sex that would include someone else too almost like the two of you using a toy. (Please "bulls" who read this, don't take it literally. It was not meant offensive! Of course you are
not a toy.
- Just a thought that may help
her accept the idea more easily in the beginning.
)
4. What happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom. Like
@Davidspencer79 said: If you play secretly there is no need to explain to or even think about family or friends as they will not have the slightest idea. To have something unshared with others "in your circle" completely to yourselves and being "partners in crime" can strengthen your relationship big time.
- Something many Women will see as "romantic" and therefore will appreciate. So perhaps it's more about how you "sell" that idea to her.
All i've said above is what i can speak of from my own experience. Of course no two relationships or Women are the same. i would not describe my ex as "conservative" but definitely she was very much against the thought of cheating. It helped for us to simply not see it as cheating but us being in a perfectly monogamous relationship instead. Even though that included additional "playmates" occasionally. For her it was hard to take the first steps into the "wifesharing" lifestyle. On the other hand it only took one first experience for her to be hooked.
A glass of wine had helped her to get over the initial shyness that otherwise would have prevented her from doing what she really wanted.
Minutes later she was sucking off two men - me and a guy who had flirted with her all evening - between a parked car and a hedgerow.
Good luck!
