Good morning everyone. The post you are about to read is intended to illicit sound guidance. Specifically I’m looking for input based on experience if possible by both couples and men who have stepped in and experienced similar descriptions to the one I’m going to provide. This is a bit of a timeline so bare with me. I’ll try to add some spice to keep everyone engaged so as to be able to finish and give some advice.
Unfortunately the world we live in has at least in my mind complicated our decisions we make. I grew up completely oblivious to race. I mean that as I had friends of every color. It never crossed my mind to see a black friend dating a whites person, it was simply two people dating. The world has complicated this which leads me to some questions I will have relative to me and my wife’s life today.
My wife and I have been married for about 15 years. To my belief and my knowledge of my activities, we have been completely monogamous and faithful. Overall we have many of the same struggles as any other couple but will say we are in a good place. Sexually at the start my wife was much more open than me. Originally it was tough to come around due to being self conscious of my size. I know it’s not everything but for us guys internally it is to most. Kinda like wrinkles or weight to a woman. My wife on the other hand seems to rarely have clothes on, wears a thong to pool or beaches when it’s adults only, and is much more open conversationally.
Up until this point and even prior to marriage we’ve never involved anyone else with sex. I’m pretty sure she wants that to change and I’m slowly coming around to it as well. We have great sex, according to her not as often or as rough as needed, but still great. About two years ago we talked and she mentioned how she would like to post herself online and try to make some money. I told her I needed to think about it but agreed to take videos and pictures primarily for that purpose if we got to that point. I understood where she was coming from with her need to be wanted. I was curious though as she slipped with a comment about it being easier to have me film instead of herself. Naturally I did a little digging since I knew she was holding back. I found hundreds of pictures and videos of her watching porn, playing with herself, you name it it was there. The overwhelming majority of the commentary and porn she was watching was black men and white women. I took it one step further and purchased a data tracking program and installed and extracted the use of our large theater tv in our viewing room. My wife, who stays at home, downloaded and watched more porn than I could have imagined. Again just about every search over 3 months was interracial related. To this day I have not directly spoken to her about it. Instead I pushed the pictures and posting idea of hers with acceptance. Without telling her I ordered a black dildo modeled after a pornstar. When I brought it out she at first refused to use it and was defensive about not wanting a black dildo. Kinda freaked out and embarrassed I told her it was the wrong item and she shelved it. Sure enough the cloud told the real story as she video’d herself a few days later and gave a monologue of its arrival. Ladies. Why the reluctance and the response from her? Color makes zero difference to me and it’s porn and a dildo for goodness sake. The only thing I can think of, and it’s rather stupid if you ask me, is about all of it was extremely objectifying. There was so much stupid objectifying talk of “white girl”, “white pussy”, “big black cock”, and so on. I understand that’s part of the subject matter but it’s so overdone. The only thing I can think is that it’s so objectifying that she embarrassed that she fancies it. Answers please and I’m moving on.
Now to the practical application. Almost all the time while having what I would describe as wilder sex, she brings up gangbangs, needing big dick, etc. Lat weekend, and it was almost in a bargaining manner, she began to lick my ass and talked about how she needed a dick inside her from behind. Obviously I could not help with that at that point. Granted she was ******* but she said “share me, it’s yours so share your pussy”. As she continued on that topic she got progressively faster and harder which showed me she really really has that on the mind. Based on my research I really have no interest in watching a white guy fuck her. Not from what I’ve seen from her but also, if it’s going to happen I’d rather it be someone different than me selfishly. I wanted so badly to tell her I wanted to watch her do what she desired but just couldn’t because of her previous reactions and responses. Why is she embarrassed to admit that she has a sexual fetish for interracial sex?
And lastly I’ll ask how has sharing your wife, or you being shared changed your relationship and everything that surrounds it? I don’t have interest, and no offense if this is your role, to being minimized like they do in these pornos my wife watches. Are there preferred areas you look to make sure your not getting some immature egotistical guy who has little to no respect? I’d imagine you just feel it out like any other relationship. I’ll ask also. Can her behavior of watching 20+ hours of porn a week be independent of what she’s willing to do in her life. I mean that as in does what I’ve laid out necessarily mean she has that need in her life. Or can even the extent she takes it be compartmentalized to be what it is? I’m actually a little over the double life and have considered reaching out to AA men in order to get that portion of her life going.
Thank you for listening and hopefully there’s some good info supplied. If you’re looking to mix it up or be childish please do not bother responding.
Unfortunately the world we live in has at least in my mind complicated our decisions we make. I grew up completely oblivious to race. I mean that as I had friends of every color. It never crossed my mind to see a black friend dating a whites person, it was simply two people dating. The world has complicated this which leads me to some questions I will have relative to me and my wife’s life today.
My wife and I have been married for about 15 years. To my belief and my knowledge of my activities, we have been completely monogamous and faithful. Overall we have many of the same struggles as any other couple but will say we are in a good place. Sexually at the start my wife was much more open than me. Originally it was tough to come around due to being self conscious of my size. I know it’s not everything but for us guys internally it is to most. Kinda like wrinkles or weight to a woman. My wife on the other hand seems to rarely have clothes on, wears a thong to pool or beaches when it’s adults only, and is much more open conversationally.
Up until this point and even prior to marriage we’ve never involved anyone else with sex. I’m pretty sure she wants that to change and I’m slowly coming around to it as well. We have great sex, according to her not as often or as rough as needed, but still great. About two years ago we talked and she mentioned how she would like to post herself online and try to make some money. I told her I needed to think about it but agreed to take videos and pictures primarily for that purpose if we got to that point. I understood where she was coming from with her need to be wanted. I was curious though as she slipped with a comment about it being easier to have me film instead of herself. Naturally I did a little digging since I knew she was holding back. I found hundreds of pictures and videos of her watching porn, playing with herself, you name it it was there. The overwhelming majority of the commentary and porn she was watching was black men and white women. I took it one step further and purchased a data tracking program and installed and extracted the use of our large theater tv in our viewing room. My wife, who stays at home, downloaded and watched more porn than I could have imagined. Again just about every search over 3 months was interracial related. To this day I have not directly spoken to her about it. Instead I pushed the pictures and posting idea of hers with acceptance. Without telling her I ordered a black dildo modeled after a pornstar. When I brought it out she at first refused to use it and was defensive about not wanting a black dildo. Kinda freaked out and embarrassed I told her it was the wrong item and she shelved it. Sure enough the cloud told the real story as she video’d herself a few days later and gave a monologue of its arrival. Ladies. Why the reluctance and the response from her? Color makes zero difference to me and it’s porn and a dildo for goodness sake. The only thing I can think of, and it’s rather stupid if you ask me, is about all of it was extremely objectifying. There was so much stupid objectifying talk of “white girl”, “white pussy”, “big black cock”, and so on. I understand that’s part of the subject matter but it’s so overdone. The only thing I can think is that it’s so objectifying that she embarrassed that she fancies it. Answers please and I’m moving on.
Now to the practical application. Almost all the time while having what I would describe as wilder sex, she brings up gangbangs, needing big dick, etc. Lat weekend, and it was almost in a bargaining manner, she began to lick my ass and talked about how she needed a dick inside her from behind. Obviously I could not help with that at that point. Granted she was ******* but she said “share me, it’s yours so share your pussy”. As she continued on that topic she got progressively faster and harder which showed me she really really has that on the mind. Based on my research I really have no interest in watching a white guy fuck her. Not from what I’ve seen from her but also, if it’s going to happen I’d rather it be someone different than me selfishly. I wanted so badly to tell her I wanted to watch her do what she desired but just couldn’t because of her previous reactions and responses. Why is she embarrassed to admit that she has a sexual fetish for interracial sex?
And lastly I’ll ask how has sharing your wife, or you being shared changed your relationship and everything that surrounds it? I don’t have interest, and no offense if this is your role, to being minimized like they do in these pornos my wife watches. Are there preferred areas you look to make sure your not getting some immature egotistical guy who has little to no respect? I’d imagine you just feel it out like any other relationship. I’ll ask also. Can her behavior of watching 20+ hours of porn a week be independent of what she’s willing to do in her life. I mean that as in does what I’ve laid out necessarily mean she has that need in her life. Or can even the extent she takes it be compartmentalized to be what it is? I’m actually a little over the double life and have considered reaching out to AA men in order to get that portion of her life going.
Thank you for listening and hopefully there’s some good info supplied. If you’re looking to mix it up or be childish please do not bother responding.
