She is out with him tonight for the second time. And I am totally angry over it! Am I wrong?

[NYHotwifeHubby]

Hi All,

This post was from another site forum in which I listed it for advice. Just adding to here for feedback as well.

My wife and I are new to the lifestyle. Just started a few months ago. Its been a good and bad ride so far, weeding through a lot of flakey guys. We have met some good ones though that she is still talking t o for a few weeks now.

One guy we met a month ago she hit it off with right away. They had sex 4 days after we met and she said he was so nice to her and the sex was great BUT...part of our agreement is, that I watch the sex. They met at a hotel 4 days after they met, which i knew about and they said they were going to "get to know each other." I had a feeling something was going to go down but I hoped they would at least let me watch over video chat. Nothing happened.

For the last month since then, he has been really distant with her. He says nothing is wrong, he’s busy, etc. She is always texting him, getting simple or no replies. It hurt her at times wondering if he was a one time fling. We are looking for a long term guy to build a relationship with, and have a s a steady partner for her.

She INSISTED the next time they were together, I would watch and be there.

Today, they chatted in the morning and made plans to meet tonite. She just left to meet him at the hotel. Since she told me they made plans for tonite, and they dont want me there, I was very angry all day. We fought on and off. I told her why is she doing it, he knows the deal with us, that he is a third party in a married couple, etc. She kept telling me all day "Dont worry, next time you will be there. I am trying to lure him in and keep him."

I dont buy it. I think he just doesnt want me around and wants her to himself all the time, WHEN he is around. His excuse is, "We need to learn each others bodies before we can perform in front of your husband."

Is he for real? Or should I have insisted that I go or its not happening?

 

[Bbc_swingin]

Rules and limits are the first thing that should be stated and followed by the third party and the couple. She could be telling the truth about them learning each other’s body I once hooked up with a couple and met up with the wife a few times before actually being in both of there presence and when we did all meet the husband said it felt like we had prior chemistry we never told him we had sex before our initial meet but it worked out for all of us they eventually split but that was not cause of me they had prior issues

 

[NYHotwifeHubby]

Rules and limits are the first thing that should be stated and followed by the third party and the couple. She could be telling the truth about them learning each other’s body I once hooked up with a couple and met up with the wife a few times before actually being in both of there presence and when we did all meet the husband said it felt like we had prior chemistry we never told him we had sex before our initial meet but it worked out for all of us they eventually split but that was not cause of me they had prior issues

I agree. And I am new to this. Although I love the cuckold scenario, I just want to make sure, right from the beginning that these guys are not flukes and can perform in front of the husband (me.) Thats all. If they push me aside and feed my wifes head with excuses right away why I shouldnt be there, from now on, they are gone. I like the idea of my wife and him being a lone to "learn each other", but that could take weeks sometimes months to perfect. i just want to make sure he doesnt have cold feet in front of the husband, thats all. Too many guys out there that will do what I want on the first date.

 

[Bbc_swingin]

Oh I definitely agree that there are flukes and those that can’t perform in front of the husband I’ve been in scenarios where it has gotten uncomfortable for me in front of the boyfriend and times where the chemistry was off but it should be stated in the beginning that core idea is for all three parties to be involved

 

[NYHotwifeHubby]

Oh I definitely agree that there are flukes and those that can’t perform in front of the husband I’ve been in scenarios where it has gotten uncomfortable for me in front of the boyfriend and times where the chemistry was off but it should be stated in the beginning that core idea is for all three parties to be involved

Exactly. And it was. We met this guy twice in person and all seemed good. But he just told my wife twice "i want to be alone with you" and she did it. We fought a lot the second time.

 

[Bbc_swingin]

It sounds like you and your wife need to have a talk if this was said to her and she agreed

 

[AllenEthanM]

On the other side, it could be argued that the lifestyle is most importantly about female empowerment. That necessarily means certain concessions by the traditional husband.
You can't control how your wife will grow. Accept it and you will benefit from her growth. Trust your wife. It sounds to me like you need to work on that. Embrace their relationship for what it is. Suggest she invite him to your house for dinner, or do something as a trouble. It should at least start out non-sexual. If you can act friendly and civil with him, maybe he will be more comfortable with your presence. Their sex, like yours, is an inte self personal act. Not everyone can do it, at least at first as a performance.
If it turns out they need to be alone,, consider whether you want to be the kind of husband who forbids his wife from seeing him, especially if she enjoys him as much as it seems.
It really seems now to be all about your inability to let your wife grow without your close supervision. I know it breaks your agreed upon rules. But the question now is does that rule really need to be absolute under the circumstances you find youselves in. Maybe it can just be a goal, that you all can agree on. Would you want to perform before him, especially after seeing your wife have multiple orgasms with him?

 

[cuckoldssss]

Hi All,

This post was from another site forum in which I listed it for advice. Just adding to here for feedback as well.

My wife and I are new to the lifestyle. Just started a few months ago. Its been a good and bad ride so far, weeding through a lot of flakey guys. We have met some good ones though that she is still talking t o for a few weeks now.

One guy we met a month ago she hit it off with right away. They had sex 4 days after we met and she said he was so nice to her and the sex was great BUT...part of our agreement is, that I watch the sex. They met at a hotel 4 days after they met, which i knew about and they said they were going to "get to know each other." I had a feeling something was going to go down but I hoped they would at least let me watch over video chat. Nothing happened.

For the last month since then, he has been really distant with her. He says nothing is wrong, he’s busy, etc. She is always texting him, getting simple or no replies. It hurt her at times wondering if he was a one time fling. We are looking for a long term guy to build a relationship with, and have a s a steady partner for her.

She INSISTED the next time they were together, I would watch and be there.

Today, they chatted in the morning and made plans to meet tonite. She just left to meet him at the hotel. Since she told me they made plans for tonite, and they dont want me there, I was very angry all day. We fought on and off. I told her why is she doing it, he knows the deal with us, that he is a third party in a married couple, etc. She kept telling me all day "Dont worry, next time you will be there. I am trying to lure him in and keep him."

I dont buy it. I think he just doesnt want me around and wants her to himself all the time, WHEN he is around. His excuse is, "We need to learn each others bodies before we can perform in front of your husband."

Is he for real? Or should I have insisted that I go or its not happening?

Agreed

 

[Darksisler]

Well there really is a difference between Hotwifing and cheating…..

 

[geoffrya]

Hi All,

This post was from another site forum in which I listed it for advice. Just adding to here for feedback as well.

My wife and I are new to the lifestyle. Just started a few months ago. Its been a good and bad ride so far, weeding through a lot of flakey guys. We have met some good ones though that she is still talking t o for a few weeks now.

One guy we met a month ago she hit it off with right away. They had sex 4 days after we met and she said he was so nice to her and the sex was great BUT...part of our agreement is, that I watch the sex. They met at a hotel 4 days after they met, which i knew about and they said they were going to "get to know each other." I had a feeling something was going to go down but I hoped they would at least let me watch over video chat. Nothing happened.

For the last month since then, he has been really distant with her. He says nothing is wrong, he’s busy, etc. She is always texting him, getting simple or no replies. It hurt her at times wondering if he was a one time fling. We are looking for a long term guy to build a relationship with, and have a s a steady partner for her.

She INSISTED the next time they were together, I would watch and be there.

Today, they chatted in the morning and made plans to meet tonite. She just left to meet him at the hotel. Since she told me they made plans for tonite, and they dont want me there, I was very angry all day. We fought on and off. I told her why is she doing it, he knows the deal with us, that he is a third party in a married couple, etc. She kept telling me all day "Dont worry, next time you will be there. I am trying to lure him in and keep him."

I dont buy it. I think he just doesnt want me around and wants her to himself all the time, WHEN he is around. His excuse is, "We need to learn each others bodies before we can perform in front of your husband."

Is he for real? Or should I have insisted that I go or its not happening?

 

[geoffrya]

the question for me is

who is real here?

 

[Jdingo619]

Hi All,

This post was from another site forum in which I listed it for advice. Just adding to here for feedback as well.

My wife and I are new to the lifestyle. Just started a few months ago. Its been a good and bad ride so far, weeding through a lot of flakey guys. We have met some good ones though that she is still talking t o for a few weeks now.

One guy we met a month ago she hit it off with right away. They had sex 4 days after we met and she said he was so nice to her and the sex was great BUT...part of our agreement is, that I watch the sex. They met at a hotel 4 days after they met, which i knew about and they said they were going to "get to know each other." I had a feeling something was going to go down but I hoped they would at least let me watch over video chat. Nothing happened.

For the last month since then, he has been really distant with her. He says nothing is wrong, he’s busy, etc. She is always texting him, getting simple or no replies. It hurt her at times wondering if he was a one time fling. We are looking for a long term guy to build a relationship with, and have a s a steady partner for her.

She INSISTED the next time they were together, I would watch and be there.

Today, they chatted in the morning and made plans to meet tonite. She just left to meet him at the hotel. Since she told me they made plans for tonite, and they dont want me there, I was very angry all day. We fought on and off. I told her why is she doing it, he knows the deal with us, that he is a third party in a married couple, etc. She kept telling me all day "Dont worry, next time you will be there. I am trying to lure him in and keep him."

I dont buy it. I think he just doesnt want me around and wants her to himself all the time, WHEN he is around. His excuse is, "We need to learn each others bodies before we can perform in front of your husband."

Is he for real? Or should I have insisted that I go or its not happening?

Shut it down immediately!!! No real lifestyle bull would ever alienate a hubby or give hubby any indication that he is crossing the line with his wife. What you have is a bull imposter who sees the women of the lifestyle as low hanging fruit easy for the picking off. All the dynamics of a swinger relationship with a couple is really not what he's in it for that's why he seduces and manipulates the wife with the whole "next time" thing stringing her along.

When you screen for a bull you tell the bull what you are looking for and how its gonne be with no compromises. That's how you filter out imposters!

 

[KBOZ69]

Hi All,

This post was from another site forum in which I listed it for advice. Just adding to here for feedback as well.

My wife and I are new to the lifestyle. Just started a few months ago. Its been a good and bad ride so far, weeding through a lot of flakey guys. We have met some good ones though that she is still talking t o for a few weeks now.

One guy we met a month ago she hit it off with right away. They had sex 4 days after we met and she said he was so nice to her and the sex was great BUT...part of our agreement is, that I watch the sex. They met at a hotel 4 days after they met, which i knew about and they said they were going to "get to know each other." I had a feeling something was going to go down but I hoped they would at least let me watch over video chat. Nothing happened.

For the last month since then, he has been really distant with her. He says nothing is wrong, he’s busy, etc. She is always texting him, getting simple or no replies. It hurt her at times wondering if he was a one time fling. We are looking for a long term guy to build a relationship with, and have a s a steady partner for her.

She INSISTED the next time they were together, I would watch and be there.

Today, they chatted in the morning and made plans to meet tonite. She just left to meet him at the hotel. Since she told me they made plans for tonite, and they dont want me there, I was very angry all day. We fought on and off. I told her why is she doing it, he knows the deal with us, that he is a third party in a married couple, etc. She kept telling me all day "Dont worry, next time you will be there. I am trying to lure him in and keep him."

I dont buy it. I think he just doesnt want me around and wants her to himself all the time, WHEN he is around. His excuse is, "We need to learn each others bodies before we can perform in front of your husband."

Is he for real? Or should I have insisted that I go or its not happening?

This is the life of a cuckold , its a female led relationship

 

[King-Kong]

Hi All,

This post was from another site forum in which I listed it for advice. Just adding to here for feedback as well.

My wife and I are new to the lifestyle. Just started a few months ago. Its been a good and bad ride so far, weeding through a lot of flakey guys. We have met some good ones though that she is still talking t o for a few weeks now.

One guy we met a month ago she hit it off with right away. They had sex 4 days after we met and she said he was so nice to her and the sex was great BUT...part of our agreement is, that I watch the sex. They met at a hotel 4 days after they met, which i knew about and they said they were going to "get to know each other." I had a feeling something was going to go down but I hoped they would at least let me watch over video chat. Nothing happened.

For the last month since then, he has been really distant with her. He says nothing is wrong, he’s busy, etc. She is always texting him, getting simple or no replies. It hurt her at times wondering if he was a one time fling. We are looking for a long term guy to build a relationship with, and have a s a steady partner for her.

She INSISTED the next time they were together, I would watch and be there.

Today, they chatted in the morning and made plans to meet tonite. She just left to meet him at the hotel. Since she told me they made plans for tonite, and they dont want me there, I was very angry all day. We fought on and off. I told her why is she doing it, he knows the deal with us, that he is a third party in a married couple, etc. She kept telling me all day "Dont worry, next time you will be there. I am trying to lure him in and keep him."

I dont buy it. I think he just doesnt want me around and wants her to himself all the time, WHEN he is around. His excuse is, "We need to learn each others bodies before we can perform in front of your husband."

Is he for real? Or should I have insisted that I go or its not happening?

Your feelings are natural but your wife is not a porn star. She may be uncomfortable performing infront you. Talk to her about keep the lines of communication open without getting angry. If u support her she'll gain confidence and you'll be invited in. Or keep your pride and she'll continue to sneak around you.

 

[King-Kong]

On the other side, it could be argued that the lifestyle is most importantly about female empowerment. That necessarily means certain concessions by the traditional husband.
You can't control how your wife will grow. Accept it and you will benefit from her growth. Trust your wife. It sounds to me like you need to work on that. Embrace their relationship for what it is. Suggest she invite him to your house for dinner, or do something as a trouble. It should at least start out non-sexual. If you can act friendly and civil with him, maybe he will be more comfortable with your presence. Their sex, like yours, is an inte self personal act. Not everyone can do it, at least at first as a performance.
If it turns out they need to be alone,, consider whether you want to be the kind of husband who forbids his wife from seeing him, especially if she enjoys him as much as it seems.
It really seems now to be all about your inability to let your wife grow without your close supervision. I know it breaks your agreed upon rules. But the question now is does that rule really need to be absolute under the circumstances you find youselves in. Maybe it can just be a goal, that you all can agree on. Would you want to perform before him, especially after seeing your wife have multiple orgasms with him?

Wish I had read your post before I did cus you nailed it

 

[Kai09]

We need an update my guy!!!
But im definitely on the ✂ CUT HIM OUT ✂ team. Assuming you put your rules of engagement out on the table from the get go homie clearly doesn't care enough to respect them or you. On top of that it sounds like your wife is way too invested in that man. Crossing boundaries with your husband once is forgivable, twice in the space of one month? Big big flag imo. Seems to me like she's sealing the deal on a "Boyfriend" vs a steady. Y'all might need to revisit what a "long-term and steady partner" means to you both.

 

[rock]

Here is my advice. We were in the interracial hotwife lifestyle for 7 years, 5 of which were Black only. We have a great, very strong marriage. The biggest problem I saw was communication but the biggest problem with men is their ego. If you are going to do this and really enjoy it the male ego needs to not be involved.

 

[robbiewillsuck]

you might want to offer -- that she can fuck any cock she wants 1on1 or 3way but you would prefer if she fucks a cock without you that she will ride your face and share the details.

 

[whitepvnda]

I wouldn't let my wife perform solo full stop . We share this fantasy together and if we make it a reality we both said it would be a mfm or me watching for a while whilst doing a video plus she said it would turn her on more me being present . I wouldn't ever let another man take my wife alone and she wouldn't be comfortable with that either

 

[ky2forfun]

Sound to us you guys need to set new rules , and if the rules includes you being there then your wife should obey by the rules or you need to put a stop to it or just except she never going to let you watch .. We have the same rules you 2 have the wife never meet with out me being there the lifestyle is a partnership between the 2 of us not just her or just me and it has worked for us for over 25 years ...................