Ok everyone, I guess I'll just share the expereince here rather than start a new thread? A few of you have already heard this or part of this...but here's how it went....
Yes, I was in HS at the time. Mom was and still is very career driven ever since dad decided he had better things to do than be there for his family. I was left alone (learning experience for all you parents out there), to hang out with my gf's and scott my BF and still really close friend to this day. I'm one of those ******* that doesn't try very hard in school and somehow still pulls off an A in every subject aside from math...I'm just not smart that way.
Scott and I were kinda sexually active but it was totally lame, I mean I love scott so much, we talk almost everyday but sex was so unfulfilling. Maybe unfulfilling is even the wrong word, I found it "bland" like, dull and "no bid deal". I knew there had to be more of everyone makes such a fuss about it. I was alone one weeknight when I went in search of a place to vent, and found a chat room that peaked my interest. Yes, the Internet corrupted my young mind! I won't mention the actual site, but it still exists and wow, that place opened my eyes. I jumped from room to room, there were so many types of interests. Men and some women were so open, and blatant with their kinks, they didn't care that I was young in fact it was a bonus.
There was good and bad, some people were just juvenile and lame, they couldn't come up with anything more creative than "hey what are you wearing"? I ignored them. Then by the second of third night I found one of the interracial rooms. The pics and gifts people were uploading there. Gosh. Gross, kinky, hardcore, and fascinating all at once, I wasn't sure how to feel but I could not pull away, something in me stirred.
J found me early on. I looked for him in that Interracial Room every night. I was depressed when he wasn't there. We chatted for months. At first I annoyed him I think. I mean he's a grown man and I was still collecting pikachu toys... After a few months he told me I had to prove myself to him so as instructed, I sent him pics of myself with his code name, written in black marker on strategic places on my body.
That really stepped things up to the next level, he took me more seriously after that. Soon, he said I would be allowed to meet him. I'd never really considered it, honestly the chat rooms seemed so "virtual" and suddenly this was becoming real. I didn't know what to expect.
He made me decide quickly in his authoritative manner, that lead to us deciding on a cover story for my mom, then plane tickets that he financed. My stomach was doing flip flops when I clicked the buy button. No turning back now. This was happening.
I don't want to get into what the cover story was, but I managed an excuse that cleared 4 nights away from my conservative mom.
We chatted every night, I know he wanted me to keep mentally building this up in my head and not back out. He told me once I get there, and he has me I was to be obedient, to open my mind and to learn what real men demand of girls. He said something like "this ain't no romantic bullshit, we talked about rough sex and being used, you gonna know what it's like to be used as a black man's whore" No one I know would dream of speaking to me this way but he speaks to me like that all the time, and God...it makes me hot. Of course at the time I really didn't know what that would mean.
Fast forward a few weeks....
I was in kind of a daze driving to the airport, checking in, waiting at the gate. This was my first time taking a trip this far alone. I had one little back pack with a few changes of clothes, toiletries, and a purse. I didn't want to disappoint him the first time he saw me, but I also didn't want my clothes to scream "slut". I wore something I thought was appropriate, sexy without trying too hard. A grey ballet tightly knitted wrap top that criss crossed my body and tied on the side, to show off my shape. A black A-line skirt that stopped at my mid thigh and black leggings to show off my legs. Black Ugg boots and very little make up. He loved my red hair, so I wore it down, loose around my shoulders.
There was this nice woman in her 50s sitting next to me on the flight over, she saw I was nervous, but thought it was flying that made me anxious. She was nice enough to hold my hand at take off!
I calmed down during the flight, trying to run through all the things I would say when I met J or Daddy J as he wanted me to call him. I hoped he would not be disappointed with how I looked in real life. I was so self conscious about my looks, I'd come to learn that black men like girls with "booty" and here I was all 100lbs of paler than pale skinny ginger... I hoped I was good enough, pretty enough. I just wished he would like me as a person. So many insecurities.
Continue?
