How to find a safe partner for MFM?

allanbradl

Couple
Hello all, we are a couple who would really want to meet a single black male but just too afraid to meet someone IRL. We tried to reach out to few people who left feedback on potential candidates profiles in our area, but nobody is replying. Meeting couples was not scary, but meeting a single male is very intimidating. Things that come to mind : how not to get robbed, physically assaulted, sexually assaulted, swarmed by uninvited guests ? We have black friends but there is no way we would get involved. The question is more like : How do we find someone we can trust? How to build the trust? We are asking those few who had these concerns and found how to deal with it, from both sides , couples and BBCs?
 
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We’ve been swingers for 20+yrs. While we’ve met a few single males from the “vanilla” world (the wife tried bumble for a little and still dabbles) we have found great luck on swinger sites. Find one that allows single men. We only select paid members who have pictures and a well written profile. PG pics in their profile and maybe a separate folder of the cock shots. Some pages allow for certifications (others attest to prior meetings).
We chat there first. If that looks solid we move to a chat platform. We immediately ask for a verification photo similar to the process here. I add the wife as well once I realize he’s legit. I have to filter plenty before I take her time w them.
We meet out for drinks first a no expectations of play. The wife wants a mental connection first. If that goes well, we plan for maybe some quick drinks the next time, but somewhere close to where we will play. A hotel is neutral and safe, but that gets expensive. Because of family, we usually have no problem going to their place.

Or, sex clubs can work too. Either randomly hope someone is there, or chat w a few from sites and invite them there if they allow single males.

Go have fun!
 
Hello all, we are a couple who would really want to meet a single black male but just too afraid to meet someone IRL. We tried to reach out to few people who left feedback on potential candidates profiles in our area, but nobody is replying. Meeting couples was not scary, but meeting a single male is very intimidating. Things that come to mind : how not to get robbed, physically assaulted, sexually assaulted, swarmed by uninvited guests ? We have black friends but there is no way we would get involved. The question is more like : How do we find someone we can trust? How to build the trust? We are asking those few who had these concerns and found how to deal with it, from both sides , couples and BBCs?
Leap of faith and some communication. You've listed all the possible terrible things that could go wrong but none of the postive. The same things could happen with a couple- right?
 
As a guy that has been on the other side for years now...first let's begin with, "how not to get robbed, physically assaulted, sexually assaulted, swarmed by uninvited guests" reads a bit over the top and not anymore likely to happen meeting with a sex partner than a random hookup at bars, etc. I would offer to first adjust your perception of people and learn to select people accordingly. While safety and privacy is paramount...there aren't a ton of guy running around trying to set you up to rob you, tying you to a chair and ******* your wife...and bringing in their "homies" to have fun with her.
Now, if you want to get an understanding of an effective process...bottom line...it TAKES TIME! This just isn't going to happen overnight! Your wife first must develop some level of comfort with the guy in order to "spread her legs". There is an attraction component...a chemistry component...a "in common" component. This just list a few. Second, you will have much better options either vetting friends you know and are comfortable opening up to them with this...most of the above will likely be built in already or easier to build. Option two which works more often...post a profile on a number of swinger sites and commit to vetting through the mounds of emails, dick pics, "I want to fuck your wife with this" nonsense you will surely get. The thing is...it's a two step process often, first you short the list...then wife shortens the list even more. Then you have to chat, call, face-time, and eventually MEET. You must MEET...too many couples act like this isn't important and all things can be done over the phone or face-timing. Only to get to the location and the chemistry doesn't work....or the vibe is off. The irony is...it's much easier and faster to just meet at the local chain restaurant...dressed normally and have a cold one or two and talk. All parties will know rather quickly if this is truly possible or just not likely.
For me, I don't waste time going back n forth with emails, pics blah blah. We do the initial vetting and level set ground rules for both sides...meet for drinks locally and plan the next step. If it is a no thanks...either side...great. If it is a let's move forward....great. Either way, little time is wasted. Obviously, it is more complex than that...I broke it down for simplicity. But that is the gist of it. There is no magic pill or bullet or snapping of the finger. To find a partner that is suitable for all parties...it will take time. Just like it would for any other type of relationship....other than...let's get ******* and go fuck. So if you and your wife are more akin to that...then forget all of the above. Goto a local joint that the kind of men you're looking for frequent...and get *******, have her dance with him/them...and go somewhere and fuck. It's easy...happens every wknd...probably right in front of you and you didn't realize.
Good Luck
 
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Leap of faith and some communication. You've listed all the possible terrible things that could go wrong but none of the postive. The same things could happen with a couple- right?
Well, agree to a degree , but typically a couple , and we met only with Caucasian couples are a bit more trustworthy than a single male. We are from Canada , trust is a Canadian thing. We have witnessed some single male behavior at our local club M4, wife shudders every time I mention we go back. These fellas were ether durgged or overexcited. Sex craze was in their facial expression. So yes, a thought of meeting with a single male is quite intimidating, however we do understand the benefits: two are better than one :LOL:
 
As a guy that has been on the other side for years now...
Good Luck
You know , it actually makes sense, most of our expectation about this process is based on time (or lack of it) that we can commit to search. Perhaps that is the key and a major deciding factor. You are right, it will take time , definitely more than just one meetup. With couples we usually had one quick meetup, and if things felt well , we moved on to next stage. It is easy with couples: typical topics revolve around finding time for ourselves , family commitments. Single male is uncharted territory: "Hmm, where do we start?", " What do we have in common?" Anyway, thank you for sharing a valuable perspective.
 
Hello all, we are a couple who would really want to meet a single black male but just too afraid to meet someone IRL. We tried to reach out to few people who left feedback on potential candidates profiles in our area, but nobody is replying. Meeting couples was not scary, but meeting a single male is very intimidating. Things that come to mind : how not to get robbed, physically assaulted, sexually assaulted, swarmed by uninvited guests ? We have black friends but there is no way we would get involved. The question is more like : How do we find someone we can trust? How to build the trust? We are asking those few who had these concerns and found how to deal with it, from both sides , couples and BBCs?
I'm your guy
 
We're mid 50, about 5 years ago we had a ******* and very quick fun few minutes with a guy we know. After a minute of french kissingh he did her over the back of the couch while I watched. Whole deal took maybe 4 minutes, he split. After a lot of her crying and apologizing we had great sex that night and for days after. We did it with him 5 more times over a year. We got pretty comfy together. Months later we called him and it worked pretty good. Became a semi regular thing for us.
Wife and I thought a different guy might be fun so we put a post on Craigslist. Hundreds of responses, most only saying things like...I'll fuck your wife...or, call me...or a picture of only a guy's hard dick. Nothing came of it. We tried swinger sites, again many responses, a few seemed legit but we never went with any.
We continued with our friend and it was fun.
We were out if town, hotel bar having a *******. Chatting with a business guy, wife was WAY into him, he was cool. We went up to his room, they're making out, they got naked, he asked me to leave. Wife said we do this together. He's like .. well ok. He started to TELL her what he wanted and how she was going to love what he was going to do to her. She backed off and we left.
Different guy, local to us. Three times with him at his place. He wasn't really into me taking a turn, she didn't click with him so we stopped.
We've done it many many times with our original guy, we're comfy, know what to expect and look forward to his visits.
He's younger, 34, nice guy, polite, just right aggressive. He's got her into anal sex, something she tried with me but didn't like. Now she's good with it, he's had her back there many times. I've fucked her butt quite a few times.
Our fun with him has really opened our thoughts about sex fun.
 
We're mid 50, about 5 years ago we had a ******* and very quick fun few minutes with a guy we know. After a minute of french kissingh he did her over the back of the couch while I watched. Whole deal took maybe 4 minutes, he split. After a lot of her crying and apologizing we had great sex that night and for days after. We did it with him 5 more times over a year. We got pretty comfy together. Months later we called him and it worked pretty good. Became a semi regular thing for us.
Wife and I thought a different guy might be fun so we put a post on Craigslist. Hundreds of responses, most only saying things like...I'll fuck your wife...or, call me...or a picture of only a guy's hard dick. Nothing came of it. We tried swinger sites, again many responses, a few seemed legit but we never went with any.
We continued with our friend and it was fun.
We were out if town, hotel bar having a *******. Chatting with a business guy, wife was WAY into him, he was cool. We went up to his room, they're making out, they got naked, he asked me to leave. Wife said we do this together. He's like .. well ok. He started to TELL her what he wanted and how she was going to love what he was going to do to her. She backed off and we left.
Different guy, local to us. Three times with him at his place. He wasn't really into me taking a turn, she didn't click with him so we stopped.
We've done it many many times with our original guy, we're comfy, know what to expect and look forward to his visits.
He's younger, 34, nice guy, polite, just right aggressive. He's got her into anal sex, something she tried with me but didn't like. Now she's good with it, he's had her back there many times. I've fucked her butt quite a few times.
Our fun with him has really opened our thoughts about sex fun.
I think I mentioned it above...generally speaking the better situations will come from people you both already knew and have established some kind of relationship with. Otherwise...you're dealing with complete strangers and having to quickly size them up, vet them, learn about them and hope that most of the important parts align with you and your wife. Now..strangers do work...but you have to know what your looking for specifically and how to vet a guy quickly. Bar scene...you should have been man-man with him..."hey, my wife is really digging you...if I can be upfront, she's always wanted to try a threesome. Thinking you may be our third...no gay...no bi...no male contact...etc, etc, etc". He either figures out quickly...this is a chance to get free pussy no attachment...all I have to do is go along with what and how they want me to be added to them. BOOM. Sounds like this guy would have probably given you tons of signs he may be a bit more aggressive than you both would have preferred. This is why it takes time...and for all the folks saying couples are easier...NOT REALLY. Finding the "right" couple is just as tricky if not worse...all FOUR people have to have a connection...compared to just 2 or 3. Either way...know what you want...know your limitations...state the ground rules up front...and you're likely to have better success. Glad you went the friend route...it generally yields better encounters. The chemistry, the knowledge, the understanding, the attraction, the flirtation, the buildup...all of it is easier and most often already in place with a buddy. If your wife is decent looking with a nice body...they ALL have checked her out at your house many times. Some probably flirted a little...others a lot. She probably responded to some and not to others. DEFINITELY some of your buddies she finds cute, attraction...others "NO WAY". Trust and believe...there are guys out there suited for you and the wife...you just have to put the work in.
Good Luck
 
The meeting was finally set for a hotel room in the suburbs. They couple had had a lot of spoken and written communication with “Tay” (the bull) to make sure all were clear on what the other side wanted, and to make sure there were no misunderstandings and to allay any concerns the couple had. However, they were sure Tay was the one. They had been wanting to do this for a while but proceeded cautiously due to the current climate, and had decided to play it safe and keep it at fantasy level. But they were keen on this one. The husband remarked to the wife how refined he appeared and stated that he spoke well and seemed refined compared to other blacks. What made it exciting was the forbidden or taboo aspect of the whole thing. These were not the type of people they would mix with ordinarily. They didn't think of themselves as racist. It is just that they were more comfortable and felt they had more in common with people of other races and other nationalities. And the taboo aspect of the lifestyle of having his wife animalistically fucked by muscular strong well-hung american blacks was the big pull for them and other couples like them in the lifestyle.
“Tay” also had been in this “interracial” thing for a while but soon realized that to these types of people, he was just a walking BBC, and the only thing that mattered to most them was just his length and girth and that he must have an exaggerated sexual appetite, like a fuck a_nimal. He even recalled an argument on a forum that turned racial (where whites reveal their true colors and views on blacks), where a white woman said that she didn’t even like the blacks at all, that she just used these sites to obtain good physical sex.
Fast forward to the hotel room, and something clicks for them. It's really happening! After several weeks of vetting and being cautious, It was about to happen. Tay suddenly said he had to get some XL sized condoms from his jacket. They couldn't believe this. XL condoms???...no way! Their faces turned as pink as fresh-cut hams with excitement...a bull with a 'monster cock'? This was too good to be true!

Well, they got that part right. Tay reached into his jacket pocket for "the condoms", but retrieved a piece instead. Then BLAM! ....BLAM! One s.hot delivered right into the middle of their pink faces, like a brick through a window.

Apart from the obvious loss, what was just as bad, if not worse was the scandal and ignominy the survivors had to deal with when the sordid matter became public; that the wife and the husband practised a certain disturbingly promiscuous "lifestyle" in which she crudely fornicated with well-endowed black men (or BBCs, as they called them in the lifestyle, and sometimes even arranged orgies where she would have sex with several well-hung black men at the same time. Her parents were a pleasant retired couple with decent down-to-earth mid-western values, and wherever they went (restaurants, stores even church), people would whisper and gossip, sometimes maliciously. Same stigma for the k ids and grandk ids, too. She was figuratively d ead too, to her surviving family and relatives, as none of them ever mentioned her name again.

And all this because a woman decided to selfishly behave like a human toilet to get her sexual thrills.

Now this may be fiction, but life has a habit of sometimes or often imitating art, if you catch my drift...
 
The meeting was finally set for a hotel room in the suburbs. They couple had had a lot of spoken and written communication with “Tay” (the bull) to make sure all were clear on what the other side wanted, and to make sure there were no misunderstandings and to allay any concerns the couple had. However, they were sure Tay was the one. They had been wanting to do this for a while but proceeded cautiously due to the current climate, and had decided to play it safe and keep it at fantasy level. But they were keen on this one. The husband remarked to the wife how refined he appeared and stated that he spoke well and seemed refined compared to other blacks. What made it exciting was the forbidden or taboo aspect of the whole thing. These were not the type of people they would mix with ordinarily. They didn't think of themselves as racist. It is just that they were more comfortable and felt they had more in common with people of other races and other nationalities. And the taboo aspect of the lifestyle of having his wife animalistically fucked by muscular strong well-hung american blacks was the big pull for them and other couples like them in the lifestyle.
“Tay” also had been in this “interracial” thing for a while but soon realized that to these types of people, he was just a walking BBC, and the only thing that mattered to most them was just his length and girth and that he must have an exaggerated sexual appetite, like a fuck a_nimal. He even recalled an argument on a forum that turned racial (where whites reveal their true colors and views on blacks), where a white woman said that she didn’t even like the blacks at all, that she just used these sites to obtain good physical sex.
Fast forward to the hotel room, and something clicks for them. It's really happening! After several weeks of vetting and being cautious, It was about to happen. Tay suddenly said he had to get some XL sized condoms from his jacket. They couldn't believe this. XL condoms???...no way! Their faces turned as pink as fresh-cut hams with excitement...a bull with a 'monster cock'? This was too good to be true!

Well, they got that part right. Tay reached into his jacket pocket for "the condoms", but retrieved a piece instead. Then BLAM! ....BLAM! One s.hot delivered right into the middle of their pink faces, like a brick through a window.

Apart from the obvious loss, what was just as bad, if not worse was the scandal and ignominy the survivors had to deal with when the sordid matter became public; that the wife and the husband practised a certain disturbingly promiscuous "lifestyle" in which she crudely fornicated with well-endowed black men (or BBCs, as they called them in the lifestyle, and sometimes even arranged orgies where she would have sex with several well-hung black men at the same time. Her parents were a pleasant retired couple with decent down-to-earth mid-western values, and wherever they went (restaurants, stores even church), people would whisper and gossip, sometimes maliciously. Same stigma for the k ids and grandk ids, too. She was figuratively d ead too, to her surviving family and relatives, as none of them ever mentioned her name again.

And all this because a woman decided to selfishly behave like a human toilet to get her sexual thrills.

Now this may be fiction, but life has a habit of sometimes or often imitating art, if you catch my drift...
Sometimes it does...and for some people this is a real possibility. Most folks nowadays aren't faced with this part of the privacy loss. It's more that the husband allows other men to fuck his wife...and she goes along with it. I've been in the lifestyle for quite awhile and I've seen my share of "bad things" happening to couples, wives and myself occasionally as a consequence of engaging in this lifestyle. Whether just once or twice or long term. Being "exposed" can be the most damaging part for many folks...whether it's with a black guy or other guys. For us...it also has some potential bad results...believe it or not some people look down on us for participating and "reducing sex" to this. Bottom line, know what you're getting into and take precautions if privacy is paramount. Otherwise...who really cares who knows...good luck and have great sex!
 
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I am not sure where the latest comments came from , extremely intimidating and disconnected from real life , just based on common sense. Creeps.
 
We’ve been swingers for 20+yrs. While we’ve met a few single males from the “vanilla” world (the wife tried bumble for a little and still dabbles) we have found great luck on swinger sites. Find one that allows single men. We only select paid members who have pictures and a well written profile. PG pics in their profile and maybe a separate folder of the cock shots. Some pages allow for certifications (others attest to prior meetings).
We chat there first. If that looks solid we move to a chat platform. We immediately ask for a verification photo similar to the process here. I add the wife as well once I realize he’s legit. I have to filter plenty before I take her time w them.
We meet out for drinks first a no expectations of play. The wife wants a mental connection first. If that goes well, we plan for maybe some quick drinks the next time, but somewhere close to where we will play. A hotel is neutral and safe, but that gets expensive. Because of family, we usually have no problem going to their place.

Or, sex clubs can work too. Either randomly hope someone is there, or chat w a few from sites and invite them there if they allow single males.

Go have fun!
Well said we were about to say the same thing! It is at times a challenge to sort out some of the BS, but in time it becomes easy to see. Public meet is almost always a must, although if comfortable we will play on a first meeting either at a hotel or if very comfortable return to our place.
 
Hello all, we are a couple who would really want to meet a single black male but just too afraid to meet someone IRL. We tried to reach out to few people who left feedback on potential candidates profiles in our area, but nobody is replying. Meeting couples was not scary, but meeting a single male is very intimidating. Things that come to mind : how not to get robbed, physically assaulted, sexually assaulted, swarmed by uninvited guests ? We have black friends but there is no way we would get involved. The question is more like : How do we find someone we can trust? How to build the trust? We are asking those few who had these concerns and found how to deal with it, from both sides , couples and BBCs?
I recommend taking blkbullforwhcpl's advice. The time my wife and I have spent in locating, meeting, and vetting our Bull's have paid off. We have been in the lifestyle for more than ten years and have found some real quality guys. My wife has the final say in everything we plan. It is her body after all. We started trying to find guys through AFF. That was hard but we did eventually find a couple of guys who were real and wanted something ongoing. It all boils down to you setting up your priorities, not settling for someone just because, maybe you are tired of looking.

It can be, at times, similar to looking for a needle in a haystack. A couple of things that worked for us. Meeting during the day for lunch or a *******. Nothing special, just put a time limitation on the meet. Next we maybe meet for dinner and again no expectations. We always want to know if the guy is real; so do some checking. If we want to go through with meeting the guy on the down low we will rent a hotel room with early check-in and play in the afternoon. I would never send my spouse to the guy's place without me being present. No way. The bottom line is that my wife is who I am most concerned about. There are no cutting corners in doing this. Also listen to each other's thoughts after a meeting. Share your thoughts with each other and be open about your likes and dislikes. Also make sure that your boundaries are conveyed to your bull ahead of time, not during the heat of the moment.
 
We’ve been swingers for 20+yrs. While we’ve met a few single males from the “vanilla” world (the wife tried bumble for a little and still dabbles) we have found great luck on swinger sites. Find one that allows single men. We only select paid members who have pictures and a well written profile. PG pics in their profile and maybe a separate folder of the cock shots. Some pages allow for certifications (others attest to prior meetings).
We chat there first. If that looks solid we move to a chat platform. We immediately ask for a verification photo similar to the process here. I add the wife as well once I realize he’s legit. I have to filter plenty before I take her time w them.
We meet out for drinks first a no expectations of play. The wife wants a mental connection first. If that goes well, we plan for maybe some quick drinks the next time, but somewhere close to where we will play. A hotel is neutral and safe, but that gets expensive. Because of family, we usually have no problem going to their place.

Or, sex clubs can work too. Either randomly hope someone is there, or chat w a few from sites and invite them there if they allow single males.

Go have fun!
This is identical to how we go about meeting someone. This process can take time and we have found that it is effective. People always show their true colors. If someone cannot engage in this process and does not have the time or patience, they are wrong for us and our desire for long term, on going connection. Well said!
 
Hello all, we are a couple who would really want to meet a single black male but just too afraid to meet someone IRL. We tried to reach out to few people who left feedback on potential candidates profiles in our area, but nobody is replying. Meeting couples was not scary, but meeting a single male is very intimidating. Things that come to mind : how not to get robbed, physically assaulted, sexually assaulted, swarmed by uninvited guests ? We have black friends but there is no way we would get involved. The question is more like : How do we find someone we can trust? How to build the trust? We are asking those few who had these concerns and found how to deal with it, from both sides , couples and BBCs?
Understood, about you being scared it's a shame I get people any more
It seems like there's no more human left on this planet, but take your time don't give up yet
 
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