Seancuckold

Hi everyone.

I am a white guy from the UK. My first gf (Emma) was seduced by BBC when we were both 18. We'd been dating 2 years. It was hard but we stayed together, partly because I loved her but mainly because he didn't want her as a steady gf.

I’d never felt my pride as badly hurt as when I agreed to take her back that first time, knowing that she'd all been up for being is full time girl but had been knocked back by him. In the end she had apologised to me, promising it was a one time thing, that she hadn't been thinking straight so I stood by her. At the time I felt like I'd won and he'd lost and my ego was soothed a little.

It soon transpired she couldn't give him up. Despite Jason (the BBC in question) treating her quite rudely (I treated her like a Princess) and her becoming upset after each time she was him and promising me that was the last time - her panties dropped for him again and again. Every time Emma would cry and say sorry and I would try again, my pride eroded a little bit more but I continued to stand by her as she would beg me to forgive her and not leave her - telling me again and again that it was a mistake that would not happen again - tat she needed me.

We of course talked about it, not sexually at first, but working out why she felt the need to keep cheating. We looked at it to begin with from the perspective that she had a problem that we could work through, that perhaps it was due to her needing attention and so on. The chats led to us being very truthful with each other.

Of course a large part of the reason she kept seeing him was the bliss he gave her - and she hesitantly admitted to me about his greater size, greater stamina, greater dominance and greater skill. She was gentle with my feelings but of course I pushed for details. Turned out he was nearly twice as long as me (I'm around 5.5") and 'much thicker'. He could go for a long time, the first time she was with him they'd gone back to his at 3am and not finished properly (they had little breaks) she reckoned until about 6-7am and it had not been slow and tender sex, he had pounded her. I couldn't believe it at first but she told me he could cum, lose only a little hardness and recover to go again in a few minutes.

She grew to become very open about how much pleasure he brought her, how the sex was ’out of this world’ and ‘totally addictive’ and how she 'came and came and came'. She began to become frustrated with me in bed as she tried to remain faithful and I tried to compete with what he could do to her - but of course I couldn’t. She was my first gf, I didn’t know what to do, and my shame increased again as although hearing all this detail was slowly breaking my heart - my dick began to betray me and stand to attention whenever she talked about him and I began to feel completely in awe of him.

We were together through two years of this and I learned to put up with it losing my confidence and manliness in inches. Wen I looked back I realised I'd shared my gf with another man for the entire time of our relationship and this had just been my 'normal' - I didn't know any different. Sometimes she would try really hard for me but he only lived around the corner from her and if two weeks went by without her caving in and seeing him I was lucky. Often the time between their trysts was far less.

Eventually we split up (she left me of course) telling me it was time for her to be single although it wasn't as if I was stopping her having her fun. Anyhow, I was 21 and on the surface had had a nice relationship with a pretty, lovely girl and was off to uni. In reality I was left with no confidence, totally in awe and intimidated by BBC, hopelessly attracted to girls into it and unable to stop watching interracial porn in my spare time. As I looked at more porn I learned about cuckolding, that there were other white guys like me who had experienced similar.

I’m 31 now and despite spending years trying to fight this and man up, being macho in public, in private I’m still totally in awe of black cock and the girls that love it. Sometimes I desperately want to man up… and manage it for a few weeks but can't manage it to last so am trying to accept my position at last. Would love to make friends and chat to others,

cheers,
Sean